


The Spear

by Artemis225



Series: The Storm and The Spear [2]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blood Drinking, Multi, Season/Series 04, Sexual Content, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Unresolved Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2017-10-01
Packaged: 2018-04-24 10:11:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 62,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4915555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis225/pseuds/Artemis225
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Part 2 of the Storm and Spear Series! Alandra and Angel have been separated, but what happens when Spike returns to Sunnydale and a mysterious Spear appears. What part do the three play in the game of prophecy? And will Alandra have to decide where her heart truly lies?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the first chapter to part 2 and most likely last part of this series. I hope you enjoyed the first part and I'm excited to go onto the next phase of this adventure with you all!

Alandra had left Sunnydale for a while. It held too many memories, too much pain for her. Angel was gone, and she wanted to say she was stronger than to let a man break her. To be overcome with grief from his loss because everyone expects that. They all just expect her to be ok with him leaving because of who she is and who he is and their past, but she can’t. It was beyond love. He was a part of her. He held a piece of her soul within him, and she held a piece of his soul within her. And he just left. He decided what was best for the both of them with out talking to her about it, and that made her enraged and heart broken. It showed her that despite everything they had been through together he still couldn’t trust her judgment. Now the only ones that seem to understand or at least sympathize with her is Buffy and Willow. Cordelia left and Faith was in a coma. Alandra felt alone again, and she hated it.

~0~0~

Alandra finally returned to Sunnydale after a couple of months of being gone. She sighed as she opened the front door to the cold and empty house that had been her home for the past couple of years. Her father had tried to convince her to stay with him, but she knew she couldn’t. Even beyond the horrible memories LA held for her, and now Angel’s presence there, she felt like she was doing something important in Sunnydale. She felt like she mattered even though she knew she didn’t. She knew that she was a small pawn in the game of life that she was living, but as long as she felt like she mattered that’s all she needed.

Once Alandra placed her suitcase back into her room she stepped out of the house to walk around the town. It was still daytime so Alandra didn’t feel as on guard as she would normally be at night. She just allowed her mind to wander at all of the things she needed to do. She wasn’t going to school which meant she would need to find a job as soon as possible. Fortunately her father had some contacts in Sunnydale so she wasn’t too worried. 

She allowed her feet carry her and she found herself standing just outside the mansion on Crawford Street. Alandra could feel her pain shoot through her heart. It was a prison that had become her second home, and now it was just a shell of memories. Tears began to well into her eyes, slowly spilling down her cheeks as she clenched her hands into fists. Her whole body shook with anger and sadness and she didn’t know how to let go. She could feel it eating her up inside, and she knew that Angel could feel it as well. She wanted to be stronger than she was. To at least let go enough so that the mere thought of his shadow wouldn’t bring her to her knees but she wasn’t that strong. She couldn’t let Angel go. She couldn’t escape the image of his back as he walked away and she hated herself for it.

Alandra sucked in a breath, releasing it in a scream. She didn’t care if someone saw her and thought she was crazy. She needed to release her pain somehow and that was her best way. When her vocal chords became to raw for anymore sound she turned around and ran. Her legs felt heavy as she ran down the streets to the next place she could think of. She slowed down to a stop and found she was in front of the Summers’ home. She didn’t know why she wanted to see Buffy, but her heart told her that it was the right choice. She slowly walked up the front steps, nervousness etching in. Her and Buffy were never friends, no matter how much they settled things between them, but Alandra knew that Buffy was the only one who would understand what she was going through in a way. They both loved the same man at one point, and he left them both at one point. 

Alandra slowly walked up the steps, her breath in her chest. She lifted her fist to knock on the door and jumped when it flew open, Buffy yelling to her mom her goodbyes. Buffy jumped as well when she realized someone was standing on her door step. Alandra’s eyes were wide, her hand still in the air.

“Alandra,” Buffy said, surprised by the girl’s presence, “You’re back!”

“Yeah, I am,” Alandra replied, lowering her hand finally. The silence was awkward as they waited for the other to say something else. Buffy shifted her feet, making Alandra realize that she had been silent for too long.

“Buffy,” Alandra began, drawing the girl’s attention to her, “I know we’ve never been friends. But,” Alandra’s voice became choked with emotion, tears springing to her eyes, “But, I could really use a friend right now.”

“Of course,” Buffy said, nodding in understanding, “Let’s go to my dorm. We’ll talk when we get there.”

“Ok,” Alandra replied, taking a deep breath in relief. Some of the weight was lifting off of her already.

~0~0~  
“Your dorm room is cute,” Alandra told her, walking into the room with a small amount of awe and jealousy.

“Thanks. My roommate should be gone for a while, so feel free to let go,” Buffy told her, plopping down onto her bed. Alandra followed her, her movement more controlled as she sat beside the blonde. Buffy waited patiently for Alandra to start and could see the emotions running all over her face. She looked tired, dark shadows under her eyes, her usually glowing brown skin now tinged grey. Angel’s absence was taking a toll on Alandra and she wondered if they even knew it.

“It feels weird to be talking to you about this but I don’t think the others would understand what I was going through, or even want to,” Alandra told her, a small smile on her lips, “Xander and Giles still haven’t forgiven for what happened to you I think.”

“I’ll talk to them about that. They shouldn’t be blaming you for anything,” Buffy told her, making Alandra shake her head.

“It’s fine. I’m kind of done with trying to prove myself to people, to Xander, even to Giles. They need someone to be angry with, and nothing you say will change that,” Alandra told Buffy who nodded in acquiescence, but Alandra could tell that she was hesitant about it. Alandra fell silent again, taking deep and slow breaths to calm her emotions down, but it wasn’t working.

“How did you do it Buffy? How did you let go of Angel? Because despite everything I do I can’t seem to let him go,” Alandra told her, her sobs finally being released from her body. Buffy wrapped her arms around her, holding Alandra to her and trying to comfort her the best she could.

“I loved Angel,” Buffy began, “I still do. But what you two have is more powerful than any love I’ve ever seen. You carry each other within you and even though it hurt to watch you with him, to know that you held his heart, his very being, I knew it from the start that you were who he was meant to be with. From the moment I saw you two standing together, side by side, I could feel the spark between you.”

“If we were so meant to be. If you could tell from the moment we were together that we were supposed to be with each other then why did he leave me? Why did he suddenly decide that I was better off without him? I can feel myself falling apart inside,” Alandra cried out, tears streaming down her face.

“I wish I was stronger than this,” Alandra told her, “Strong enough to pretend that him leaving me alone again hasn’t broken me inside. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

“Alandra look at me,” Buffy commanded, when she didn’t Buffy grabbed her by the chin and forced her to look into Buffy’s eyes, “You are strong. You’ve been through so much and you’ve bounced back. You fought through it, and you’ll fight through this. You’ll get through this, and I’ll be here to help you.” Not knowing what to say, Alandra broke down into tears again, allowing herself to feel the pain she was trying to hide.

~0~0~

It had been about a week since her crying session with Buffy and Alandra felt no lighter than she did before. She still carried the weight around with her and it was crushing her. 

She had been alone in her house, wondering what to do next when Buffy told her to come to Giles’s home. She was nervousness, she hadn’t seen the older man since before she had left and she didn’t know how she would be received by him. She had barely reached the door when Buffy threw the door open and dragged her inside.  
“Alandra,” Willow cheerfully cried out, running over to her and wrapping her in a warm hug. Alandra took a small amount of peace being hugged by her friend brought, but it immediately disappeared at the sound of Xander’s voice.

“What is she doing here,” Xander asked, clearly offended by her presence. She felt Buffy move beside her, and looked over at the blonde, a determined look on her face.

“She is a Scooby. She’s going to help us with what’s been going on. That’s why she’s here,” Buffy told him. Xander opened his mouth to argue but Willow stopped him.

“What’s been going on,” Alandra asked, her brows furrowing in confusion. Buffy turned to her to look her in the eyes.

“Spike is back and he’s digging under the city for a thing called the Jewel of Amara,” Buffy told her. Alandra pushed down her thoughts about Spike and focusing on what he was looking for.

“What is the Jewel of Amara,” Alandra asked Buffy, but Giles was the one who answered.

“Originally believed to be a myth, even amongst the demon community, it basically makes any vampire that wears it invincible. They can walk in the sun, holy water has no affect on them,” Giles listed off, and Alandra finished his sentence for him.

“And they can’t be staked. And Spike will do a lot of damage once he gets his hands on it. So, what’s the plan,” Alandra asked them.

“We find Spike and stop him from getting the Jewel,” Buffy told her, “I’m going to have to stake him this time. I’m sorry Alandra.” When she heard those words Alandra wanted to fight her on it. Spike was her friend. He saved her from herself, and she wanted to protect him, to save him. But she knew what Spike was. He was evil and he wouldn’t hesitate to kill anyone of them, not even her if it really came down to it. 

“It’s fine Buffy,” Alandra told her, her voice sounding empty, her eyes becoming cloudy with regret and sadness, “Do what you have to do.” Alandra turned around and walked out, leaving the others in her wake. 

“Is she ok,” Willow asked Buffy, clearly worried about the other girl, but Xander had cut in to the conversation.

“Maybe she feels guilty about what she let Angel did to Buffy and for being friends with Faith, as she should be,” Xander said, his voice full of anger and hate. 

“If I hear one more word about what happened Xander I will hit you,” Buffy threatened, “I told you that she had nothing to do with that, and you blaming her is becoming ridiculous. And if I remember correctly, you thought Faith could be saved as well. Enough is enough. Let it go,” Buffy finished. She could tell that her words didn’t reach him, but she said nothing else. It would be wasted breath and they didn’t have time for that.

“I’m still going to the party tonight. I’ll take Alandra with me. Maybe that’ll cheer her up a bit. Let me know if you guys find anything more about Spike,” Buffy said, grabbing her jacket and purse. Giles nodded, removing his glassing to clean them.

“I’ll let you know if anything comes up,” Giles told her. Buffy nodded and stepped out, hoping to find Alandra quickly.

~0~0~

Alandra didn’t know what she was doing at the party. Buffy was trying to include her in the festivities but was too wrapped up in the guy named Parker to really pay attention. Now Alandra was sitting alone in a corner of the living room, watching college students of various ages drink and dance and talk to each other. Her thoughts were being drawn back to Angel every time she saw a couple together. She began to imagine that it was Angel and her there together, having no business at the party at all but there any way because she thought it would be fun. And he would go because he wanted to see her have fun. As her imaginings became deeper and felt more real she shook her head, and saw the images fall away into mist. She was in her own mind so much that she barely registered Buffy running after a blonde man through the house.

Alandra jumped to her feet, immediately following after them, ignoring the angry calls after her as she bumped into various party patrons to reach the outside. She nearly crashed into Buffy as they came to a stop, the Slayer facing the vampire.

“Well hello there luv,” Spike said to Alandra, a smug smirk on his face.

“What are you doing here Spike,” Alandra asked, moving to stand beside Buffy, her arms crossing her chest and waiting for his answer.

“Just passing through. Needed to pick up a bite to eat but now we’ll be on our merry way,” Spike said, but Buffy pulled a stake out of her leather jacket, halting Spike in his footsteps.

“We know you’re looking for the Jewel of Amara. Have you found it yet,” Buffy asked him, but Harmony was the one to respond behind them.

“No, he’s still looking for it,” Harmony’s light voice carried over to them, making them whirl around to look at her.

“Harm,” Spike yelled in anger before lifting his fists up and ready for a fight.  
“Come on Alandra luv,” Spike said to her, drawing her attention back to him. Crystal blue met grey and Spike immediately knew that something had happened to her. Her eyes weren’t vibrant any more. They were dull and lifeless. He began to wonder what had happened to her to draw her back to the darkness she was in during her captivity.

“What do you want me to do Spike,” Alandra asked him, guilt filling her heart. But her face was stone, hiding everything she was feeling.

“Help me to not get staked would be bloody fantastic,” Spike replied. He was confused by the way she was treating him. Where there was once warmth, now there was nothing.

“You said it yourself Spike. You’re evil. And evil things must be destroyed,” Alandra told him coldly. Spike was taken aback by her words but said nothing. He glared at her, his teeth grinding in anger. Alandra spun around and walked away, leaving the grunts and groans of fighting behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a late post. I hope you enjoy this chapter! Please leave some feedback if you have any! Also, I have no clue why it says part 4 of a series on here. If anyone knows how to fix that pleas let me know!

Alandra couldn’t sleep. She had been lying awake later that night, thinking about Spike and what she had done. She knew that Buffy hadn’t staked him. The slayer had called her later that night telling her that Spike had gotten away. She could feel relief filling her heart at hearing the words, a soft sigh escaping her the moment she hung up. 

She slowly stepped to her mirror, looking at who she had become. Her skin was tinged with grey, the circles under her eyes becoming darker with each passing day. Her hair now hung limply, the curls flat waves. The red that usually infused the black color with life seemingly gone. She looked dead. Angel’s absence was hitting her harder than she expected. For a fleeting moment she wondered if their separation was affecting her health because of the bond, but she knew it was wishful thinking. It would just be a reason to bring him back, and she didn’t want to force him to do something he didn’t want to do. A sharp pain shot through her chest, forcing her to gasp for air, her hand clutching her heart to try to ease the pain in some way. She looked down and saw the yellow of their bond glow, strong and bright. Suddenly a gentle warmth flooded her body, lessening the heart ache she had been feeling. She knew what it was doing this. Angel was sending his love to her through the bond.

She brought to the surface all of the pain and love she felt for him and sent it through the bond, the glow becoming brighter and brighter, flooding her entire body with it’s warmth until the brightness lit the entire room. Tears prickled her eyes, making her laugh as her love was reciprocated. Her heart felt lighter and freer as the glow began to fade, her breath coming out in pants as her feelings overwhelmed her. No matter what, she knew that Angel loved her. And for now that was all she could ask for.

~0~0~

“What are you doing for Thanksgiving Alandra,” Buffy asked her as they had coffee with Willow on the UC Sunnydale campus. Alandra found herself visiting the two girls there often despite not attending the school.

“Nothing. I was just going to stay in and watch some TV or movies or something,” Alandra told her absentmindedly, taking a small sip from her coffee cup. Buffy and Willow gave each other a wide smile before smiling expectantly back at her. All Alandra could do was look confusedly back at them.

“Why are you two looking at me like that,” she asked them, slowly placing her cup back on the table.

“I’m hosting a Thanksgiving dinner at Giles’s place and you’re coming,” Buffy told her. Buffy wasn’t inviting her to dinner, she was commanding her to go.

“Oh no. That’s ok. I appreciate it but no,” Alandra replied, but Buffy wasn’t taking no as an answer.

“Nope, it’s already been decided. You’re coming. Meet at Giles’s around 6. We have to head there now to start cooking. We’ll see you later,” Buffy called cheerfully, dragging a sheepish Willow behind her. All Alandra could bring herself to do was sigh in exasperation and rest her chin on her fist, wondering what she got herself into.

~0~0~  
Alandra had walked into chaos. The Scoobies were all battling men dressed as Native American warriors and Spike was tied to a chair on the side, his skin and lips a ghostly white, dark rims around his eyes. A warrior immediately began to attack Alandra and she went into action. Her body was now acting on memory. The feeling of a fist or foot connecting with the opponent’s body part. She hated to admit to herself but she missed fighting. The rush her body felt as she blocked and attacked, fighting for her life. She saw Giles and Buffy hiding behind a table the had been turned over, providing them with shelter. Alandra dove down and joined them.

“What the hell is going on,” Alandra yelled to them over the sounds of fighting from outside.

“Long story short a Native American vengeance spirit was resurrected and is now trying to kill us,” Buffy told her distractedly, shooting arrows from her crossbow at the spirits but always missing.

“Why is Spike here, tied up and looking like he’s about to fade to dust,” Alandra asked next, peering over the table to see Spike now riddled with arrows. She wanted to go an help him but knew he probably wouldn’t want it.

“He can’t attack humans. Can we please focus on the task at hand,” Giles said to them, clearly irritated by all of the questions. 

“I’m going to go outside and help the others. Get rid of these spirits,” Alandra said as a parting word. She remained crouched down, trying to avoid being hit by an arrow as she went to the small courtyard in front of Giles’s place. She found Willow and Anya struggling to beat the other warriors back. She grabbed one by the back of the neck, pulling him away from Willow. He whirled around to face her, a long knife in his hand and made sweeping motions, trying to cut her across her chest and face. She was barely able to avoid his attack, blocking a blow with her arm before swinging her foot up and connecting it to his chest hard. The kick threw the warrior back and another took his place.

She felt a hand wrap around her neck from behind, the palm large enough to envelop her wind pipe. She began to feel her air being cut off and struggled to pry his fingers off of her. She gasped for air when the pressure left her and she looked up to see who had helped her. Her eyes widened at the sight of Angel grabbing the warrior and snapping his neck, the warrior’s body collapsing to Angel’s feet. 

“What are you doing here,” Alandra asked him, ducking from a punch thrown at her. Angel crossed over with her as she stood upright once again, both of them throwing their own punches at the warriors across from them.

“Now is not the time to talk about it,” Angel said, growling in anger when a warrior brought a knife down onto his back. Angel’s face transformed into that of a vampire, the yellow eyes gleaming back at her.

“Well, when will be the time? Because you and I both know you’re going to disappear after this,” Alandra hissed at him, anger filling her chest. She spun a kick into warrior behind her, making him fall to his knees. She then spun another kick across his head, his neck snapping to the side.

“My seer Doyle had a vision of you in danger,” Angel explained before yelling at her to duck again. Alandra dropped to her knees smoothly, allowing Angel to snap his leg above her and into the warrior that was behind her. 

“Who else knew you were here,” Alandra asked him as she slowly raised to her full height again. She knew her eyes were yellow because of the anger she was feeling. It swirled around her like a storm.

“Xander, Willow, and Giles. That’s all,” Angel told her, his voice pleading with her to understand. She had every right to be angry with him, but he hoped she just understood. Suddenly the warriors faded into smoke, showing the Scoobies victory. Willow and Anya had cheered but quickly quieted down and escaped into the house with Xander, leaving the couple alone. Alandra stepped towards him, her eyes fading back to grey. She lifted her left hand and Angel did the same, reaching out to make skin on skin contact. The bond glowed brightly, their bodies feeling connected and full. 

“Please forgive me,” Angel whispered to her, but she could still hear him as if he were yelling the words to her.

“I don’t think I can yet,” Alandra replied, her voice just as soft, “But I’ll always love you.” She released his hand, the yellow glow disappearing instantly. She began to walk towards the house, his eyes burrowing deep into her back. She paused at the doors, turning to find him gone once again. She felt her face harden to fight the tears that wanted to escape. 

When she reached inside of the house again, everyone was safe and tired but relieved. Xander was up and cracking jokes once again. She ignored the worried glances Buffy and Willow sent her and turned her attention to Spike who was still tied to a chair.  
“What happened to you,” she asked him, her voice cold. She looked down at him, her arms crossing her chest, her feet planted wide, her back completely straight. He knew what that meant, he had seen people stand like that before. People that thought they were better than him. He hated it. Spike sneered at her, still angry with her.

“What do you care? I should be destroyed, remember,” Spike spat back. Alandra sighed, exhaustion suddenly filling her body. She sank to her knees in front of him, all of her anger and coldness turning to a vulnerability he hadn’t seen from her in a while. He refused to allow it soften his un-beating heart as it had before though.

“I know what I did was wrong. You are, were, my friend and I threw that away. But you came to us for a reason, and it’s because you knew we can help you. So let me help you this time,” Alandra told him, her voice filling with a pleading tone. She slowly placed a hand on his knee, wincing when he shook it off. Spike simply sat there and watched her. She seemed more vibrant than she had at the party, her skin now carrying a glow that it hadn’t carried in a while. He looked into her eyes and tried to find any deceit but couldn’t find any. He hated her for drawing him in such a way.

Two champions.

The words were whispered in his ear, reminding him of the prophecy that Drusilla had foretold so long ago. He didn’t know what it had to do with him, but his gut was telling him to trust her despite everything he was and what she was and what she had done to him. And Spike always followed his gut.

“Some commando types captured me and placed me in this fancy lab,” Spike told her, Alandra fought the relieved smile that wanted to enter face and simply listened to him.

“What did they do to you,” Alandra asked him, prompting him to continue.

“I don’t bloody well know. All I know is that I escaped and I haven’t been able to even think about hurting a person without a brain splitting migraine let alone feeding,” Spike groused at her. Alandra stood up slowly, smiling down at him. He wanted to wipe that smile off of her face. She knew that he didn’t want speak with her anymore so she turned away from him and stepped over towards the Scoobies.

“It looks like the commandos are at it again,” Buffy said, crossing her arms as she glanced over to the ghostly looking vampire. 

“We shouldn’t worry about that now. Let’s focus on the dinner you made and enjoy that and we’ll deal with the commandos tomorrow,” Alandra told her, smiling softly at the blond. All of the Scoobies worked together to get the place in enough order to sit and eat. The scents of the home cooked meal wafted up to Alandra, stirring her stomach painfully. She fought the urge to grab as much food as possible as it was settled in front of her.

Soon everyone had started eating, happy that the battle was over and they could relax until tomorrow. Spike sat at the corner, his mouth full of the cookie Buffy had shoved in his mouth to make him stop talking. Alandra ate slowly, enjoying every flavor as best she could, happily humming as she chewed. 

“It kind of felt like old times,” Xander commented, making everyone look towards him, curious as to what he was saying.

“It did, didn’t,” Willow agreed, smiling at her childhood friend. Xander nodded, shoving a large portion into his mouth. He chewed loudly, his color slowly coming back to him the more he ate and drank.

“Yea, even Angel was here,” Xander said, making everyone crash to a silence. They all looked towards Buffy who Alandra realized was the only one that hadn’t known Angel had been in town.

“What,” Buffy nearly shrieked, her eyes wide at the news. Everyone looked down at their food, too scared to explain to her what Xander had meant.


	3. Chapter 3

Spike had been causing Giles problems ever since the Scoobies decided the vampire would be staying with him, and Giles felt the need to complain to Alandra about it whenever she visited him, which had become very often. She didn’t know whether it was to check on Spike, on Giles, or simply to just give her something to do. She had started to help him translate some of the texts he had on hand and mostly keep Spike at bay. 

“Well hello pet,” Spike said cheerfully, but she could hear the sarcasm begin to creep into his voice. She said nothing as she sat down beside the tub and lifted the glass of blood with a straw to his lips. Spike sat forward, the chains jingling with the movement as he wrapped his lips around the straw. 

“I hear you’ve been arguing a lot with Buffy,” Alandra commented as Spike sat back, a satisfied smirk on his face.

“It’s fun to mess with the Slayer. She gets worked up so easily. And I’m also bored as fuck just sitting in this tub day in and day out,” Spike told her, making her smile softly at him. She pulled the cup back when it seemed he had finished and juts sat there, her own thoughts of Angel taking over her mind.

“Penny for ‘em love,” Spike asked, his voice soft so as not to startle her, but he knew Alandra was not easily startled. Not anymore.

“I have to take a trip to LA. Giles needs a text that’s down there and I’m the only one that can currently go,” Alandra told him, turning her head to look deep into his eyes. The icy blue had soothed her during her time in the mansion, but now all she can see is anger and hate, and it was directed towards her.

“You going to visit the poof of a vampire as well? Since he’s all you think about these days. Actually, he was all you had ever thought about. Maybe you were right before about being stupid,” Spike spat at her. Alandra winced at the words, but her face fell back into an emotionless mask. Spike hated the dull look in her eyes, he hated her.

“Giles is considering letting you go now that we know the limits you have with your chip,” she told him, her voice devoid of any emotion, “But he won’t let you go just anywhere yet. He’s probably going to suggest you stay with someone until you can get on your feet.”

“What’s your bloody point woman,” Spike hissed at her. Alandra’s lips quirked slightly at his anger but then moved back into a blank mask. It unnerved him to see her like that.

“I know you’re not the happiest with me right now. But I meant what I said about helping you. I’m going to suggest that you stay with me until they can be sure you can’t hurt anyone and you can be on your own,” she told him. His chest puffed up in anger at her words and she waited for the yelling he was about to release.

“No way in bloody hell am I going to stay with you. You were going to let the Slayer stake me, even after everything we had been through with each other. Because I’m evil and need to be destroyed, remember? And now that I’m a helpless little puppy you want to be friends again? Fuck that,” Spike shouted at her. Alandra stood up, looking down to him.

“It’s either me or Xander, and we know how that’s going to end. I’ll ask again when I get back,” Alandra told him before stepping to the door. Spike watched her begin to leave but she paused and turned towards him, all of her sadness and emotion filling her face. Just as he had begun to convince himself to hate her, that the girl he had met before was gone and now was a shell because of a man she had to show him what she was truly feeling. All of the pain and heartache at being left by the one you thought you had forever with. He could relate to that, and that drew him to her even more.

“I truly am sorry Spike,” she whispered, but he could hear every word loud and clear, “And I know words don’t mean much, or anything at all really. So I’m trying to show you that you matter to me.” Alandra left the vampire alone in the tub with his thoughts. He had a decision to make. To refuse Alandra’s offer and sit in misery in this tub. Or to accept her offer and constantly wonder when and if she’ll turn on him again and let her in again. For the first time in a long time he was at a loss at what to do.

~0~0~

“Is that her,” Doyle’s lilting Irish accented voice carried over to Angel. He looked down at a photo of Alandra before her capture in the mansion. She was all smiles and brightness, her light shining through the photo and warming him from the inside out.

“Yea, this is Alandra,” Angel said, siting back into the small couch beside his office. Doyle stepped closer to him, looking down at the photo himself. He knew that Angel looked at it often, if the curled edges were anything to go by. 

“She saw me,” Angel told him, shocking Doyle out of his thoughts.

“What do you mean she saw you? Did she just get a glimpse of you or did you two speak? What happened,” Doyle asked him, his eyes wide as he looked at his friend.

“I was fighting off some of the warriors when she came out to help. She was not very happy with me,” Angel told him.

“Well would you be,” Alandra asked from the doorway, making Doyle jump and Angel move to his feet. Cordelia was standing beside Alandra, glancing back in between her and Angel before stepping to pull her in. Alandra followed her friend, turning away from Angel to look at Doyle.

“You must be Doyle,” Alandra said, smiling warmly at him before placing her hand in the air to be shaken. Doyle, still surprised by her presence slowly placed his hand in hers.

“It’s nice to finally meet you. And can I say your photo doesn’t do you justice,” Doyle told her, making Alandra laugh. Cordelia moved away from Alandra to stand beside Doyle and grabbed his arm, beginning to drag him to the doorway.

“We’ll leave you two alone. We have to go speak with a client. I’ll catch up with you later Alandra,” Cordelia told her before dragging a reluctant Doyle out of the room. Alandra turned back to Angel and simply stood there, staring into his warm brown eyes. Angel didn’t know what to do. He wanted to touch her and hold her body to his and kiss her into oblivion, but he knew that she would punch him in the nose if he even tried.

“What are you doing here,” Angel asked her, his voice soft to match with the tense atmosphere.

“Giles needed a text that might help with a demon that roaming around or something like that. I was the one voted to come down and get it,” Alandra told him, shrugging at the circumstances.

“No, I meant why are you here? Visiting me,” he asked her. Alandra smiled as she backed away and began to look around the room.

“I missed you,” was her simple reply.

“You were mad at me the last time we saw each other. Furious actually,” Angel told her, moving to follow her to the window. He stayed back far enough to see the way the small amount of light glowed around her, lighting her skin, giving it’s dullness a new light. He could see the dark circles under her eyes, the way the grey of her eyes didn’t swirl like a storm anymore.

“I could be mad at you till the cows came home,” Alandra said, “Doesn’t mean I don’t love or miss you any less.” Angel smiled and stepped towards her till their chests were barely touching. Alandra felt the urge to push up and kiss him. She missed kissing him and holding him in her arms. She missed his very being. Angel began to tilt his head towards her, wanting to taste her lips again, but then a huge crash made them jump apart. The sun was blinding and Angel jumped away from it, finding safety in the shade.

The demon was a grotesque light green and was encased in armor, a large red jewel in the center of it’s forehead. It came towards Alandra with a sword which she narrowly escaped by dropping to her knees. Angel jumped from the shadows of the office onto the demon, knocking it away from her. Angel was able to get a few punches into it’s gut before it escaped and ran away. Angel first turned towards Alandra to ensure she was uninjured. She slowly rose to her feet, and he could hear her heart racing in her chest.

“Are you ok,” Angel asked her, lightly grazing his hands all over her body to feel for any wounds. Alandra smiled softly at him.

“I’m fine. Let’s go get that guy before he hurts someone,” Alandra told him. Angel nodded, leading her down stairs into his underground apartment. Alandra wanted to take the time and look around but she knew they were on the clock. When she looked back at Angel she realized that he was holding the manhole cover up, allowing her to step down into the darkness of the sewers. The rungs of the ladder were grimy, leaving her hands feeling dirty. She jumped to the ground, her knees cracking slightly at the impact. She stepped to the side to give Angel enough room to follow her, keeping her eyes on every entrance the tunnel had, on every shadow the demon could jump out of. 

Once Angel reached the bottom he stopped and watched her again, looking at the way her curls framed her face. She had looked better than she had a week ago when he had visited Sunnydale. The dark circles underneath her eyes had lightened, her skin beginning to glow once again, but her eyes were still dark. They still carried the shadows of the pain of his absence and he hated himself for it.

“How long are you going to stare at me,” she asked cheekily, turning to face him, a small smirk on her face. Angel’s own face remained expressionless as he looked deep into her eyes.

“I’m sorry Alandra,” he said to her, his voice a quiet whisper. Alandra’s smile fell and she turned away from him and began to walk down the towel she believed the demon had gone down.

“Sorry for what? For having me fall in love with you and believing we would have more than just barely a year together and then leaving me? Or are you sorry for something else,” Alandra asked him, but he knew that it wasn’t truly a question.

“For putting you in this position,” Angel replied, sadness permeating the air they breathed. Alandra spun around to look at him, the fire of anger so deep in her body that her eyes flashed yellow.

“Fuck you Angel,” she hissed, her harsh words taking him aback before settling anger in his own belly.

“What do you want from me Alandra? Because I don’t know what to do here,” Angel spat back at her. Alandra snarled slightly at him, making his own anger burn even more.

“You know what I want? I want you to stop apologizing. Because every time I hear those fucking words come out of your mouth it takes me to the sadness I felt when I watched you walk away. You don’t call, you don’t write. If it weren’t for the bond, I would almost believe that you didn’t think about me at all. All your apologies are doing is reducing me to a girl that was too weak to move on and I refuse to be weak any more,” she told him, her jaw tight and her heart racing. Angel could hear the blood pumping beneath her veins and could hear the voice of his demon in the back of his mind telling him to sink his fangs into her, to teach her a lesson.

“You made this choice on your own. And no matter how much I love you, I will not relieve your sense of guilt to make you feel better by accepting your apology. You’re just going to have to move on like the rest of us,” Alandra finished before turning around and walking deeper into tunnel and leaving him behind. Angel stared after her, amazed at the woman she had become. He couldn’t fault her for her words because she was right. He couldn’t ask her to forgive him to relieve his guilt at what he had done to her, leaving her without discussing it with her. He had begun to wonder if he had made the right decision at all.

They continued to track the demon down the tunnel but quickly realized that he had left. Alandra turned to Angel, her face carrying her own expressionless mask as she looked towards him. Angel looked down at her, searching deep into her eyes. He knew she still loved him, but he had hurt her deeply. She didn’t even show herself to him anymore. She had covered herself in shields that had been building for a long time, but his absence seemed to have solidified them. He opened his mouth to apologize once again, but her earlier words came back to him making his mouth clamp shut.

“The demon seems to have gone topside,” Alandra told him, ignoring the tension that was building between them, “I’m going to head up, grab a few weapons and try to find him. You should stay here and continue trying to track him.” Alandra had turned around to head up the ladder that was beside them that lead to the outside world. Angel clasped onto her hand, halting her movements.

“I don’t want you going alone,” Angel said to her, hoping that she understood his need for her to be safe.

“Well you did before,” she replied, “So it doesn’t make much of a difference now.” Her words were so cold that Angel immediately released her hand. He took a step back, giving her space. Alandra nodded before looking back up skyward. Angel could feel his heart break at her words. Even though he had left her he had never felt so apart from her until now. He could feel her slipping away, moment by moment, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

Angel was so wrapped up into his own thoughts that he didn’t hear the demon come up behind him until the demon swiped at him with his large sword. Angel spun around, the sword barely missing his ear, the sound of air following the sharp metal. Angel blocked the next strike with the axe he held in his hands, his muscle straining against the strength of the demon’s. Once Angel was finally able to push the demon back he used the weight of the axe to spin, trying to lodge the thick metal into the demon’s stomach. He was only able to get a small slice in, the wound glowing red before healing together. Angel’s eyes widened as he realized the implications of what he saw. The demon could heal itself and therefore will be very hard to kill.

They battled to what felt like forever to Angel and his body was beginning to tire. He could feel blood begin to drip down from his nose. He wiped it away before raising the axe high above his head and bringing it down right into the demon’s chest. The demon howled in anger and pain before melting into a pile of goo, a red aura passing over it. The suddenness of the deconstruction of the demon led to Angel failing to his knees, an injured hand mixing with the blood of the demon that was on the ground. Red swirled around the cut, melding the skin together. And then he felt his heart beat for the first time in over two hundred years.

~0~0~  
Alandra had returned to Angel’s offices, her inability to track down the demon weighing heavily on her mind. Cordelia was pacing back and forth in front of her desk, Doyle trying to calm her down as he sat on the side eating an apple.

“Alandra,” Cordelia cried out happily at the sight of her, but her smile fell when she noticed Angel was not with her.

“Where’s Angel,” she asked her friend, making the worry shift from the demon to Angel.

“Wait, he’s not back yet? I’ve been gone for nearly an hour and a half,” Alandra said, making Cordelia nod sarcastically at her.

“Yea, why do you think I was pacing a hole into the floor,” Cordelia replied, her sarcasm thick to cover her worry. Fear began to flood Alandra’s body, her eyes wide and her muscles frozen as she realized that she had to go try to find Angel and hoped beyond all hope that he wasn’t dust blowing in the wind.

Everyone jumped when they heard the slam of the office door behind them. Alandra whirled around, and the air instantly became still. There, standing in the doorway, the sun shining down upon his back and head, was Angel. Everyone stared at him with wide eyes, mouths open in shock. His own face spoke of the shock and happiness he felt at his new condition. 

“H—how is this possible,” Alandra said as Angel stepped towards her. His smile was wide as his chest bumped hers, a jolt of electricity ran through them. Angel reached down and grabbed her hand, resting it on his chest. Tears sprung to Alandra’s at the feel of his heart beat beneath her hand. She looked up into his warm brown eyes and they carried a new hope in them. They had a light in them that they didn’t have before and Alandra felt so happy for him, but she could also feel something missing, deep down, and she didn’t know what it meant. The trance was broken when they heard a loud growl escape from Angel’s stomach. Alandra laughed before releasing Angel.

“Food, food. I need food,” Angel whispered, the second growl proving his statement. He immediately ran to the small fridge in the office, grabbing whatever he could and shoving it into his mouth.

“Even though this is great and I’m happy for you, how did this even happen,” Cordelia asked, her tone full of worry.

“The demons blood got onto a cut on my hand and healed it,” Angel said around a mouthful of food, “And then my heart started beating.”

“We need to figure out what type of demon that was,” Doyle told them, looking at Alandra with a concerned expression on his face. They didn’t know how long this new found humanism of Angel’s will last or what the other repercussions will be. She looked away from Doyle back to Angel, smiling softly at the green pallor of his face. 

“I don’t feel so good,” Angel said, his hands on his stomach. Alandra stepped towards him and began to gently rub his belly in soothing circles.

“Come on, let’s get you down stairs,” Alandra began to move towards the stair well, but Angel stopped her, looking down at her, his eyes showing all of the emotion he couldn’t show with his words.

“Can we take a walk outside? In the sun,” Angel asked her. Alandra could feel sadness sweep through her. Sadness that he had to be in the darkness for so long.

“Sure, let’s go. We’ll be back in a few hours,” Alandra told Cordelia and Doyle, walking away before they could stop them. She watched Angel as his face brightened with the heat of the sun on his face. The pure look of joy made Alandra want to cry. The couple left Cordelia and Doyle to watch after them, concerned looks still on their faces.

“Is it just me or did Alandra not seem as happy about the new turn events as I would think she would be,” Doyle asked Cordelia, watching her as she walked around to clean the mess Angel had made in his attempt to eat everything in his sight.

“I can understand why,” Cordelia replied distractedly. Doyle leaned across her desk, his arms crossing his chest.

“Please explain,” Doyle said, making Cordelia sigh in frustration before turning towards him to look him in the eye.

“Alandra loves all of Angel. She always has. She’s accepted him even after what had happened with Angelus. And now he’s human. The part that she had to fight to love is gone. It’s going to take her some time to get used to him being human again,” Cordelia told Doyle who remained silent, her words rolling over in his mind.

~0~0~

“You don’t seem happy that I’m human,” Angel commented as they strolled through the park, their feet hitting the gravel and a light breeze sweeping through them. Alandra looked up at Angel, looking deep into his eyes before looking forward once again.

“I am happy. I’m happy for you. I can’t imagine what it must be like to finally be able to feel the sun again,” Alandra told him, but Angel could tell that she was holding something back.

“I hear a big ‘but’ entering the end of that sentence,” Angel replied, stopping them. He looked down at her, holding both of her hands in his, enjoying the feeling of the sun warm on his back and the heat of her body radiating towards his.

“What is it Alandra,” he asked her softly, waiting patiently for her answer. Alandra sighed softly, trying to get her words and thoughts to match.

“I love all of you Angel, but it took me a long time to reach that point. And now I feel like something’s missing. The bond isn’t as strong as before. Our hearts aren’t even glowing where before just a single touch could light up an entire room,” Alandra told him. As Angel listened to her words he realized she was right. Something was off with the bond and he knew it was tied to his new found life, but he didn’t understand what it meant for him and Alandra.

Alandra could see sadness and confusion enter his eyes and placed a gentle hand on his cheek to make him look in her eyes once again. She had a small smile on her face to reassure him.

“I love you Angel. And I’m always going to love you, whether you’re a vampire or human. Let’s go to the beach. I’m sure it’s been a while since you’ve seen the ocean during the day,” Alandra told him before grabbing his arm and turning to head towards the beach. Her words still weighed heavily on his mind though.

~0~0~

The couple had reached Angel’s underground apartment just before sundown, Cordelia and Doyle easily making sure their presence went unknown in the office upstairs. Alandra began to feel nervous as she looked around the small but comfortable flat. It had been a while since she had been with Angel and she wasn’t sure how much things would change now that he was human. Angel watched her as she walked around, sensing her nervousness and had begun to wish he could hear her heart beat. His gaze was full of heat and it made goose bumps rise on Alandra’s skin. 

Angel slowly stepped towards her, smirking at the way Alandra avoided his gaze. He had always enjoyed playing these cat and mouse games with her and he was happy that they were able to fall back seamlessly together. Alandra was near the door way to his bedroom, her fingertips running along the wall, lightly grazing objects along the way.

“Where do you think you’re going mo chroí,” he asked her, his eyes glancing down at the way she swayed her hips with every step she took. Alandra turned her head to glance at him, stopping just before the doorway to the bedroom.

“Well, aren’t you going to show me the grand tour,” she asked, a small smirk lifting her own lips. As more time moved on she became relaxed. This was familiar. It took her a moment to realize that he was still Angel, nothing had changed except for the beating of his heart.

“I’ll be happy to,” he replied before taking two quick steps and grabbing her around the waist. Alandra cried out in shock from suddenly being lifted in the air, but laughed as he walked them over to his bed and tossing her onto it. Her breath left her in as her body connected with the soft surface. Her entire body lit with a fire as Angel leaned over her, crawling over her body till his face was close to hers. 

“You’re beautiful, you know that,” Angel said softly as he looked into her eyes. Love swelled in her heart at his words. No matter what happened, Angel would love her. Whether he was human or vampire, he would love her, and she couldn’t ask for anything more.

“I love you,” she told him, lifting her hand to rest against his cheek. He lifted his own hand to press her palm against his warm skin, giving it a light kiss before leaning in and kissing her lips. Alandra wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling his body closer to hers. The kiss intensified, heat building between them. Alandra soon brought her hands down to unbutton his shirt, thankful he was wearing a button down so that he didn’t have to break the kiss. She never wanted to be separated from him again.

Angel felt as if her skin was scorching his as he pulled off his shirt before dragging his hand up her belly to begin to lift her own shirt. Alandra accidently bit his lip as they sat up, making Angel growl in pleasure. Alandra couldn’t help but laugh as he helped pull her shirt over head. He brought his hands to her back, tracing his fingers along her spine to release her bra. Alandra instantly felt free as the catch released, allowing her to remove the offending piece of clothing. Angel wrapped his arms around her, pulling her towards him so that their skin was finally touching.

It was electrifying. The coolness of his skin before always felt like a shock, but now with his body temperature normal she felt as if she was going to melt into a puddle, and it felt amazing. 

“I need you,” Angel told her, his voice hoarse. They clutched to each other, not knowing where to put their hands and limbs as they removed the rest of their clothes. Angel had wanted it to be slow and sweet, but he was too overcome with emotion to slow down. Each touch and kiss became more frantic, beginning to bring themselves to a peak. 

Angel flipped them over so that Alandra was above him, slowly lowering her on top of him, his hands pressing into her hips tightly. Alandra knew it would cause slight bruises, but they were the good kind, the kind that made her want more.

“You’re mine,” Angel growled as he sat up, rocking his hips into hers as she pressed down onto him. He bit into the soft skin of her throat before placing light nips along her chest.

“Always yours. Only yours,” Alandra gasped out, her head falling back as her fingers combed through his hair, pressing his face to her chest. She moaned loudly at the feeling of his tongue tracing patterns on her skin, focusing on one nipple before moving to the other. She sucked in a breath when he turned them over once again, raising her leg so that her knee was by her shoulder, the new angle making both their moans mingle into the air.

Alandra lifted up to pull his mouth down to hers, biting down on his bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Angel kissed her back just as ferociously, sweat beginning to pour down his back and face.

“You’re mine,” Alandra said to him, her voice hoarse as Angel drew more moans from her with every thrust he took. 

“Yours, always,” Angel hissed back, the pool of heat coiling up in his belly. He reached in between him and Alandra, his fingers circling around her clit, her gasps ringing in his ears.

“Let go mo chroí, cum for me,” Angel whispered in her ear, holding her close to him as he continued to thrust into her and playing with the bundle of nerves to bring her closer and closer. She dragged her nails down his back and clutched to his bed sheets, her mouth open and her eyes closed as she allowed her release to wash over her. She released a long and low moan, spurring Angel’s own release. He pushed into two more times before touching his forehead against hers, groaning out his completion. They were both gasping for air, the chests heaving and bumping against each other, the entire room thick with their heat and sex.

Angel slowly rolled off of Alandra and laid beside her, trying hard to catch his breath. He winced as the scratches touched the silky material, irritating it slightly. Alandra turned her head towards him to look at him, a large and bright smile on her face, Angel reciprocating it.

“Wow. That was amazing,” Alandra said, still out of breath.

“Yea, it was,” Angel replied before glancing along her body. He could see two large hand prints beginning to form on her hips, thighs and calf. He winced with guilt, his fingertips lightly grazing the black coloring that was forming. 

“I hurt you,” he whispered, sadness and guilt entering his eyes. Alandra rolled over, laying her body on top of his, her chin resting on his chest, allowing for her to look into his eyes. 

“If you were really hurting me I would have stopped you Angel. You know that, besides, I’m sure I got my pay back with those scratches on your back,” she replied, a small smirk on her face. Angel smiled back and nodded when a loud grumble escaped from his stomach. An embarrassed look entered his features, making Alandra laugh loudly, then her own stomach growled. Angel entered into her laughter before standing up from the bed and quickly grabbing some food from the fridge that Cordelia kept in there. Alandra smiled brightly when she saw that it was chocolate ice cream from Ben and Jerry’s. Angel settled back on the bed, humming happily as he opened the ice cream and dug the spoon in, greedily placing it in his mouth.

“Hey, I want some too,” Alandra cried out before taking the spoon away from him and getting her own spoonful of ice cream, closing her eyes in pleasure at the taste. Angel bent his head down to kiss her lips, the flavor of chocolate and of her flooding his senses. When he pulled away Alandra opened her eyes, a small smile on her face.

“I think I can get used to this,” Alandra told him before taking in more of the ice cream. Angel sighed contently, nodding as his own thoughts began to take over his mind. Now he could build memories with Alandra, the ones he always imagined but thought he never could.

“I think so too,” he replied before settling down beside her and kissing the top of her head.

~0~0~  
They had been asleep when Doyle came down the stairs. He hesitated when he saw the couple resting peacefully. He didn’t want to break the magic that they had created and deserved, but he knew Angel would want to know about the vision of the Mohra demon returning.

“Angel,” Doyle called out softly, easily waking the former vampire up. Angel noticed the tense look on Doyle’s face and slowly got up so as not to wake Alandra before heading over to him.

“What is it? What’s wrong,” Angel asked, his heart beginning to race. It had been so long since he felt like this that it made him lose his composure for a moment before he placed it under control again.

“I had a vision about the demon. It’s a Mohra demon and you didn’t kill it. Actually, you made it stronger. It’s back and it’s bigger and badder than it was before,” Doyle told him. Angel sucked in a breath, a thousand thoughts running through his mind. He knew what he had to do, and Doyle instantly could tell what he was thinking when Angel glanced longingly at Alandra.

“I’m going to take care of it. Do you know how to kill it,” Angel asked, moving to grab his shirt and pants to put them on. 

“Yes, but you can’t go out there and do it. You’re human now. It’ll kill you before you kill it,” Doyle told him, following him as he went to grab his axe.

“You got that vision for a reason. If I’m the only one that can take care of it, than so be it,” Angel told him before stomping his way to the stairs to leave. Doyle’s next words halted him though.

“What about Alandra? What happens if you die? You’re going to leave her on her own. That would destroy her,” Doyle said, using her as a last resort to convince Angel not to go. Angel turned around, his face blank but his eyes shined with sadness and determination.

“Alandra will know that I did it because it was the right thing to do. She’ll understand. Either you’re coming with me or I leave you behind,” Angel told him before turning around and walking out of the flat. Doyle felt helpless but to follow.

~0~0~  
When Alandra woke alone she knew instantly that something was wrong. She quickly got up to change into her clothes, hoping that Angel was somewhere around, but with every step she took her hope began to diminish.

She ran up the stairs and saw Cordelia pacing the office once again and her worry increased ten fold.

“Where are they Cordy,” Alandra asked, her voice startling Cordelia out of her thoughts. 

“They just went to go get more food. They should be back any minute now,” Cordelia said after jumping in the air. Fear entered her heart as the fire in Alandra’s eyes. She had never seen Alandra like this. Like she was about to burn the whole city to the ground.

“You’re lying. Where are they,” Alandra asked, her voice becoming a bellow at the end, making Cordelia jump again. 

“They’re at the electrical plant on Howard. They’re fighting the Mohra demon,” Cordelia admitted. Alandra hissed in anger and fear and grabbed a spear that was leaning against the wall with the other weapons. She ran out of the office, leaving Cordelia alone once again to pace and worry.

~0~0~  
Angel was beaten and bloody and was ready to accept death. But he knew he had failed. Failed to defeat the Mohra demon, failed to protect Alandra and everyone else. He had failed and he knew that he was worthless. 

The demon was stomping on him and Angel could feel another rib break, pain gliding over his body. Doyle was knocked out on the side, which he was thankful for. He didn’t want his friend to see him like this. To see how he had given up.

“Angel,” a light but loud voice called, forcing him to look up. He saw Alandra jump down into where ever he was. He couldn’t even remember where he was.

“Don’t touch him,” Alandra said to the demon through gritted teeth. The demon took a step back, surprised by the addition of the short girl.

“Get out of here Alandra,” Angel croaked out to her, trying to stand up but failing. His lungs coughed up blood, weakening his body even more.

“Not without you,” Alandra told him, power beginning to surge through her body. A gentle breeze began to sweep through her hair, the yellow glow of their bond tracing through her hand to her heart. Angel could feel warmth move through his body and easing some of his pain. The glow began to sweep over the spear, making the demon step back further.

“I am not the only one. The end of days are coming,” the demon said before attacking Alandra. She dropped low, swinging the spear around her to hit the demon’s knees, making him tumble to the ground. When she stood up again he was back on his feet, swinging the sword down on her. She narrowly missed it by leaning to the side, the air rushing past her face. She brought the spear up and sliced it on his arm, weakening it.

The demon growled as he dropped his sword, swinging his fist to her head and making her crash to the ground. Angel was able to stand and pushed the demon back away from her, allowing for Alandra to stand once again.

“You have to hit the crystal in the middle of it’s head. That’s the only way to kill it,” Angel yelled to her. Alandra nodded before slashing the demon across it’s torso. The demon lifted his foot and kicked her back, making her step back. She looked up at him, her eyes glowing yellow, her teeth elongating, small ridges forming on her brow.

“Your heart beats. You are human,” the demon said in disbelief. Alandra gave him a feral smile.

“You just made this human very angry,” Alandra replied before attacking the demon once again. He tried to block her attacks but was unsuccessful as she drove her spear into him over and over again, punching and kicking and driving the demon down. The glow became brighter, as bright as the sun, blinding Angel temporarily.  
Alandra could feel her body and mind being taken over by something else, by something powerful. It was as if her own mind was taking a backseat and someone else was driving.

“I am the Storm,” her voice said, bellowing out as if a thousand voices speaking alongside her own, “I am the protector of the mouth of hell. And you shall be destroyed.” Alandra screamed as she brought the point of her spear down onto the red jewel, making it break into a thousand pieces. The demon immediately melted away into nothing. 

The glow slowly dissipated, allowing Angel to lower his hand. He stepped quickly to Alandra, ignoring the pain, catching her as she swayed and fell down. Doyle finally awakened, limping over to the couple, looking down at their weary and tired faces.

“What happened,” Alandra whispered, her strength beginning to come back to her. She sat up, and looking into Angel’s bloodied face.

“I don’t know. But it had to do with the bond. Let’s get out of here though,” Angel said, trying to help Alandra to her feet but collapsing to the ground in pain, making Alandra crash on top of him. Doyle raced to their side, helping Alandra up first then the duo helping Angel. The three slowly limped back to the Angel Investigations office, heavy thoughts weighing on their mind and clouding their relief at winning the battle.

~0~0~

“You came back lower being. What is your gift,” the sister oracle said, eyeing the ancient vase Angel held in his hand. He tossed it to her, knowing she would easily catch it.

“Chines vase, Ming Dynasty,” Angel told her. She nodded in acceptance of the gift before making it disappear before his very eyes. The brother oracle stepped forward, looking annoyed with Angel, more than his last visit.

“What brings you here human,” the brother oracle asked in an angry hiss. Angel took a deep breath, trying to calm his emotions and his thoughts and fill himself with resolve.

“I want you to take back my humanity,” Angel told them, making the brother oracle shout in anger.

“How dare you come in here and make requests of us,” the brother oracle said to him. The sister oracle watched Angel carefully, thoughtfully, as she stepped forward to get a better look at him. Angel looked back at her directly in the eye. Preparing himself for her words.

“Why do you want to take back the thing you wanted the most,” she asked him, her voice full of curiosity and patience.

“I am no use as a human. I can’t protect people or Alandra like this. I’m of better use as a vampire with a soul,” Angel told her, hope filling his chest.

“We do not take requests from lower beings,” the brother oracle spat, but was shocked by the light touch of his sister’s hand on his shoulder.

“He is no lower being brother,” the sister oracle told him, her voice terse, “He is willing to give up everything for love. He is a true champion.” She looked back at Angel, her face filling with softness.

“We can not take away your humanity, but we can create a temporal fold. Reverse time to when the Mohra demon first attacked for you to defeat it before your blood mixes with it’s own,” the sister oracle explained, and dread began to replace the hope Angel had felt.

“What’s the catch,” he asked, his heart beginning to race with nervousness, sweat pooling in his palms.

“You will be the only person that remembers. You will be the only person that will know what had occurred this past day and night. Are you willing to make that sacrifice,” she asked him, her voice still gentle. Angel hesitated for a moment at her words. All the time he had spent with Alandra would be as if it had never happened. Was he really willing to make that sacrifice?

“Yes, do it,” Angel told her. The sister oracle nodded before moving to stand back beside her brother.

“In 20 minutes we will turn back time and reverse your humanity. Use this time wisely champion,” the sister oracle told him. Angel nodded then turned to go but remembered something else that had been on his mind.

“Alandra, my bonded. What is she? She was powerful last night. Too powerful to be human,” Angel explained to them, making the brother and sister smile.

“Your bonded is human. You will soon learn what is in store for the three of you,” the sister oracle said gentle, “Now be gone!” She raised her hand, her magic tossing Angel out of the room.

~0~0~  
Alandra could feel the sadness emanate off of Angel as he approached her in the office. She didn’t know where he had gone, but it had changed him, and she didn’t like it.

“I reversed my humanity. I’m going to be a vampire once again,” Angel told her, stepping towards Alandra so that their chests were touching. Alandra sucked in a breath at his words.

“What? Why! You’ve always wanted this. Why did you give it up,” Alandra asked him, her hands lifting to grasp his biceps tightly, as if the pressure would bring him to his senses.

“I can’t do what I need to do as a human. I can’t protect the people that need to be protected like this. I can’t protect you like this,” Angel told her, a sad smile entering his features, “Time is going to be reversed, you won’t remember any of this.”

“But I don’t want to forget,” Alandra said, tears welling in her eyes, “I finally got you back. I don’t want to lose you again. Please help me remember.” Her pleading brought tears to Angel’s eyes. He held her close to him, his lips pressing onto her forehead. He didn’t want to lose her, but he knew he had to. 

“I’ll always love you Alandra. No matter where I am or what I do, I love you,” Angel whispered into her skin, making Alandra break down into sobs. 

“I’m not going to forget. I’ll never forget this,” she told him, her voice full of determination as the tears streamed down her face. She placed her hand on his chest, feeling his heart beat beneath her palm. She brought his hand to place his palm over her own heart beat. The bond began to glow, but it still was not as bright as before.

“Do you feel this. This is us. I will always remember this, treasure this. Always. You’re mine,” Alandra told him before pulling his lips down to hers. Angel was able to get a last glance at the clock and noticed there was only a couple of minutes left before time would reverse. He kissed her deeply, passionately, pouring all of the love he held for her in the one kiss.

“My beautiful Alandra,” he whispered to her, kissing her one last time before the pull began. He could feel the tingle of magic over his skin as time reversed, and day became night became day again. He was standing in his clothes from the day before, standing in his office with Doyle just before Alandra had stepped in.

“What do you mean she saw you,” Doyle asked, breaking him out of his reverie. Angel was about to reply when Alandra stepped through the door way, her skin grey and her eyes were dull. He hadn’t realized how much she had changed in that one night until he could compare it to now. 

“We even spoke,” Alandra replied for him, her voice filled with sarcasm, “Isn’t that right Angel?” Angel once again was about to reply when the demon came crashing through as it had before. But this time Angel was prepared.

“Hold that thought,” Angel said to them before punching the demon in the chest. The demon fell back, lifting it’s sword to strike again, but Angel had grabbed his axe, barring it down right onto the red crystal in the demon’s forehead. The demon faded into dust, blowing away in the wind. Angel looked back up at Alandra, placing the axe back where it was.

“Why are you here Alandra,” he asked, his voice rougher than he expected or wanted to be.

“I’m here in LA to pick up a book for Giles,” she told him, stepping closer to him. Doyle had disappeared soon after the demon had been defeated.

“Why are you here,” Angel repeated, crossing his arms as he waited for her answer. Alandra glared at him, her chest puffing up in anger. 

“Don’t ask that question like I’m the one that decided to leave,” she hissed at him. Angel straightened his back, anger coursing through his own veins.

“You did decide to not come with me. And now you’re here. I think I deserve to know why,” he snapped back. Alandra clenched her fists, taking a few breaths to calm herself down. He recognized the mask she placed on her face. It was the same one he placed on himself. He hated that he had done that to her.

“I came here to tell you to stay out of Sunnydale. I don’t want to even feel your presence there, let alone see your face,” Alandra told him, her voice becoming thick with emotion. 

“What, why,” Angel asked, shocked by her words. He wondered how things had gone so wrong in such a short time.

“Do you even know how much it hurts to see you Angel? To see you and know that I can’t be with you. To see your back as you walk away every single time. How can I move on at least to the point where I don’t break down into sobs at the very thought of you. We are bonded, we always will be, and I will always love you. But I can’t have you walk in and out of my life like that. So please, if you’re going to be here, then stay here. My heart can’t take it,” she told him, tears streaming down her face. Angel was speechless. He felt her pain and felt his own at hurting her. He had almost begun to wish to be human again, to have that time back that never was. Alandra simply stared and waited for his answer. He wanted to tell her no, that they can make it work, but he knew he destroyed any chance of that happening the day he decided to walk out of Sunnydale. 

“I’ll stay out of Sunnydale unless Doyle has a vision. Then it is my duty to take care of whatever it is,” Angel told her, keeping his body and tone stiff. He could feel his heat breaking at saying the words, at being so cold to her. 

“Fine. I’m just going to say my goodbyes to every one and then I’ll be leaving,” Alandra told him, but they simply stared at each other. They felt the pull of the bond, trying to push them together, and their own fight to stay apart. 

“I’m sorry Alandra,” Angel said to her quietly. Alandra nodded before glancing down at the ground, smiling sadly at him.

“I know you are, and so am I,” she replied, lifting her head to look him in the eye once again, “But sometimes sorry just isn’t good enough. I love you.” She turned around and walked out of the office, giving Cordelia a warm hug and Doyle a hand shake before walking out of the building, leaving Angel feeling colder than he ever had before.

Doyle hesitantly stepped into the room, watching Angel glumly walk to sit behind his desk, the brooding mask already in place. It worried Doyle about how much darkness Angel carried around with him, the guilt that weighed so heavily on his shoulders, but he also knew that was what pushed Angel to help people. 

“What did she come here to say,” Doyle asked him, his voice soft so not to break the sad spell that had fallen over them.

“Nothing important,” Angel replied, brushing his friend off. Doyle took the answer for what it was and immediately left Angel alone. Angel sat completely still, not moving a muscle as his thoughts overcame his mind. He could still feel her pain through their bond.


	4. Chapter 4

“I want Spike out of here,” Giles told the Scoobies after another complaint from the vampire, “All he’s done is caused a hindrance.”

“Well, he’s going to have to stay with one of us till he can get on his feet and until we can be sure he won’t hurt anyone. And we also have to watch out for the commandos,” Buffy told them, understanding Giles’s frustration with the blonde. Spike was infuriating, and no one wanted to take on that responsibility.

“I’m right here you know. Did you ever bother to ask me what I wanted to do,” Spike groused. Alandra smiled at the collective “No” everyone gave him. He snarled at the word but otherwise stayed silent.

“He can come and stay with me,” Alandra offered before turning to Spike hesitantly, “That is if you want to.”

“Hell no I don’t want to,” Spike snapped at her, “Why would I want to stay with someone who wanted me dead?” Alandra’s body stiffening at his words.

“We’ve all wanted you dead,” Buffy cut in, moving to stand in front of her.

“Yea, but none of you have pretended to be my friend either have ya? I’m not staying with her,” he spat back with such disgust that it shocked everyone in the room. Buffy stepped up to the blonde vampire, wrapping a hand around his throat and lifting him up against a wall. He grimaced in pain, unable to fight back.

“You have two choices Spike,” Buffy began, her voice low and dangerous, “You can either be put on the streets for the commandos to find you and for you to starve, or you can go with Alandra, where you’ll have a nice comfy bed and easy access to blood. For reasons I can’t understand she cares about you and wants to help. She’s in fact the only reason why we are, so I would highly suggest on making the right decision and choosing her. Because if you choose the other one you can’t come back looking for help from us. You’re on your own.” The room was silent as Spike clearly debated on Buffy’s words. Alandra waited with baited breath for his answer. She squeezed her hands tightly, forcing herself to breathe and try to not beg him to forgive her.

“Fine,” Spike spat at her, and Buffy slowly released him and allowed him to fall to his feet. He walked over to Alandra, an angry glint in his eye.

“I want to make one thing clear,” he told her as he looked her in he eye, his finger lifted and pointing at her, “I’m not coming because I’ve forgiven you. I’m coming because you’re of use to me. That’s it.”

“Ok,” was Alandra’s simple reply. Spike nodded before walking away to grab the few things he had in the apartment. All of the others looked towards her, worried expressions on their faces.

“Are you sure you want to do this Alandra,” Giles asked as he placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, “You don’t have to do this. He’s evil, despite the chip. You don’t owe him anything.”

“That’s where you’re wrong Giles,” Alandra replied, looking into her mentor’s eyes, begging him to understand, “I owe him my life.”

~0~0~

“You can sleep in the attic or in the basement. They’re the only rooms that have no windows,” Alandra said as they walked into her home. Spike was immediately assaulted by the scent of her, immediately irritating him. He didn’t want to be brought to comfort by her scent, the way he always did whenever he was around her. Now it encased him and soothed him in ways that nothing else has.

“Where’s that cute little bird that used to live here with you? You cousin innit,” Spike said as he stepped through the living room and the combined kitchen, his hands slowly grazing over the furniture or grabbing various knick knacks that were lying around.

“Yes, my cousin Lily. She moved out and left the house to me. I keep fresh blood on hand in the fridge. Feel free to get some when you want some,” Alandra told him, hoping to deter him from the topic of her cousin. She did, but not in the way she would’ve hoped. Spike turned around with a sadistic smile on his face to look at her.

“Who would the blood be for? Is it for that poofter in case he returned to sweep you off your feet once again? And then you two would live happily ever after,” Spike taunted. He noticed the way her body clammed up at the mention of his grand-sire, the sadness that entered her eyes and pushed the guilt he felt away and forced himself to take pleasure in her pain.

“The blood was for you,” Alandra told him, moving to clean up various items that had been taken out of their places, “And Angel won’t be return to Sunnydale. I’ll go set up the basement for you.” She quickly walked away, leaving Spike standing alone in the living room wondering what he was doing.

~0~0~

Spike had been up, cooking breakfast. It had been about a week since he had decided to stay with Alandra and it was different from what he had been expecting. He had expected her to talk to him often, trying to get his friendship back, beg him for forgiveness. But she didn’t. She walked around like a ghost, barely living. The house felt cold and detached from her, like it was simply a one stop motel, not like a home. 

Spike glanced up when he heard her soft foot steps on the stairs, her body slowly coming into view. He always knew that she was pretty, but in that moment he saw her as gorgeous. Some of the grey had dissipated from her dark brown skin, giving it a warm glow. Her hair was up in a ponytail, a few curls framing her face. He glanced down to see her wearing a tight tank top, clutching to her small waist and wide hips, framing her cleavage perfectly. Her shorts showcased her firm yet large thighs, reminding him of a sprinter, her calves bunching with every step. He didn’t want to think of her that way. She had betrayed him, just as everyone else had.

“What are you making,” she asked, her tone rough, shocking Spike. She usually spoke to him gently. Right now she simply sounded annoyed.

“Food, what is it? What’s wrong,” Spike said to her, wondering what could send her into such a funk so early in the morning.

“Nothing,” she spat back before walking through the kitchen and slamming dishes around, beginning to make food for herself.

“Well aren’t you a ray of sunshine this morning,” Spike mumbled under his breath, whirling around at the sound of a glass smashing and the scent of fresh human blood. Alandra hissed in pain, clutching her bleeding hand and quickly taking it to the sink to rinse it off.

“Wait,” Spike cried out as if he was in pain himself. Alandra looked up at him and seeing the hunger in his eyes. She instantly lifted her bleeding hand to him, offering her blood to him. Spike looked at her, shocked at the offering.

“Go on. Might as well,” she told him before shoving the hand in his face. Spike grasped it, slowly licking the traces of it before going to the seeping source. He moaned softly at the taste of her. It was fire and electricity and ice all rolled into one. It was powerful and he didn’t want to stop. Alandra could feel the pull of her blood from her hand and it felt warm and familiar. Her heart began to race, pumping more blood out of her wound, giving Spike more of her life force. The feeling was heady for her. She had barely registered Spike’s arm wrapping around her, pulling her body closer to his and decided to put an end to it.

“That’s enough Spike,” she said in a low husky voice. When he wouldn’t release her she made her tone more forceful, “I said that’s enough Spike!” She pulled out her hand out of his grasp, making him growl in anger. He jumped back in a flash of pain, his hands clutching to his head. Alandra pushed him away, startled by what had happened. She breathed heavily, once again clutching her hand to herself.

“That was a one time offer,” Alandra told him, glaring at him, “And it was a mistake.”

“Why would that be pet? Because you enjoyed yourself a little bit too much. Wouldn’t want Angel thinking you moved on would we,” Spike said, backing away from her to grab a cigarette and lighting it.

“Don’t you dare talk about him,” Alandra spat, turning away from him and heading to a cupboard that held a first aid kit. Spike perked up at the tone of her voice, curious by the vehemence in it.

“What happened pet? Did your visit to LA not go as planned? Was it not as warm of a welcome as you were expecting,” Spike said, filling Alandra with anger. She slammed the first aid kit down on the counter before forcefully opening it and grabbing Neosporin and some gauze.

“I don’t think it’s any of your fucking business,” she replied. Spike stepped towards her, trying to look her in the eye but failing.

“Or is it the same thing that had your knickers in a twist this morning? What happened pet,” he asked forcefully. Alandra whirled around once her hand was bandaged up, her eyes flickering between grey and amber.

“I could feel him through our bond. His arousal. All through out the night,” Alandra told him. Spike leaned back, his eyes going wide at her words.

“You mean to tell me he’s shagging someone else? And you could feel every minute of it,” Spike asked, his tone becoming more sympathetic. He didn’t want to sympathize with her. But he knew what it felt like to see the person you love with someone else. He couldn’t imagine what it would feel like to know what they were feeling while it happened. To feel emotions that were supposed to be for you.

“Yes. I could feel him being with another girl. And no, my visit did not go well. You want to know why? Here’s why. I had to tell the man that I love that I never want to see his face again. I told him to stay away even though I wanted nothing more than to be with him, to stay. But I couldn’t because of my past. So I’m sorry if I can’t be the cheerful, happy person you want me to be, but I just fucking can’t right now,” Alandra finished on a yell before stomping out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her room, leaving Spike alone.

~0~0~

“Your boyfriend Riley is a commando and they’re offering you a spot at this Initiative place,” Alandra asked as the Scoobies had gathered in Giles’s home once again. Buffy nodded, her hands clutching together tightly in nervousness as she rocked back and forth on the balls of her feet. 

“This does not sound like a good idea at all,” Alandra said into the air, hoping to get some back up but no one else seemed to think so.

“Admittedly this isn’t the most ideal situation,” Giles began, stepping closer to her, “But this may be the only way to get some Intel on this place.”

“Fine, but this is going to bite us in the ass. I can feel it,” Alandra told them before stomping out of the apartment, leaving everyone to stare after her.

~0~0~

“What is your bleeding problem woman,” Spike groused from the chair in front of the television as Passions played. Alandra had once again been slamming dishes, drawers, and cupboard doors as she cleaned the kitchen.

“Do you really even care Spike,” Alandra asked as she looked at him over the kitchen counter, an annoyed look on her face.

“No, but if asking will let me watch my bleeding shows in peace then so be it,” Spike replied, glaring over at her. 

“There’s a TV down in the basement for you to use for a reason,” she said, her voice filled with exasperation. Spike scooted back into the chair, taking a sip from the flask in his hand as he looked back to the television.

“I like it better up here,” he told her, a small pout forming on his lips. Alandra huffed in annoyance before turning back to the kitchen to finish cleaning, continuing on a little quieter.

~0~0~

“Alandra, this is Riley,” Buffy said as they sat around the table in the dining center at the university. Alandra smiled as she shook the tall man’s hand.

“Riley, this is my friend Alandra. She’s one of the Scoobies,” Buffy finished, sitting down with Riley beside Willow and Xander. Riley smiled brightly at her as the name clicked in his mind.

“Alandra! Buffy has told me so much about you. It’s great to finally meet you,” Riley told her cheerfully, shocking Alandra. She looked up at the blonde, a curious look entering her features.

“What has Buffy said about me exactly,” she asked, her arms crossing her chest as she waited for an answer.

“That you were one of her closest friends and you’ve got a mean left hook,” Riley told her, making her smile even brighter. She turned to Buffy and gave her a wide eyed look.

“You consider me a close friend,” she asked, her voice filled with mild awe. Buffy looked shocked by the question.

“Of course. There isn’t a thing that I tell these two that I don’t also tell you,” Buffy told her. Alandra fought back the tears that wanted to fill her eyes and quickly stood to give Buffy a warm and firm hug. Buffy reciprocated, a bright smile on her own face. 

“I have to head out,” Alandra said as she pulled back, turning to Riley, “It was nice to meet you.” She gave everyone else her goodbyes before running out of the dining center. Riley turned to Buffy, a happy yet worried expression on her face.

“She has a lot of scars on her arm. How did she get them,” he asked her, but Xander was the one who answered. 

“You haven’t unlocked that friend level yet, sorry,” Xander told him, making Buffy smile nervously before turning to Riley, placing a hand on his.

“Just know that Alandra’s been through a lot. I just can’t tell you what,” Buffy said to him, hoping that he would understand. She felt relief flood her at the understanding smile and nod he gave her.

“Of course. I completely understand,” Riley replied, wrapping an arm around Buffy’s shoulder and settling in his seat to eat.

~0~0~  
“Will you shut up about kissing Buffy. It happened, it wasn’t your doing, get over it,” Alandra yelled at Spike through the house walls. Spike stomped from the basement up to the living room, a cigarette in between his fingers, pointing at her.

“I’ll complain as much as I want to about kissing the bloody slayer. It was gross and disgusting and I can’t wash it out of my brain,” Spike hissed at her. Alandra placed her hands on her hips, her brows furrowed in annoyance and anger.

“Maybe you’ll forget about it sooner if you, I don’t know, stop thinking about it,” Alandra hissed back at him. She actually found the entire situation amusing, but she knew better then to tell him that.

“What would you do if you kissed someone you loathed against your will,” Spike yelled back at her. Alandra threw her hands up in frustration then turned around to walk away.

“I certainly wouldn’t be talking about it all of the time like I actually bloody enjoyed it,” Alandra yelled past her shoulder as she walked up the stairs. Spike quickly followed behind her.

“I did not enjoy it! You take that back,” he said, following her to her bedroom, “And bloody is my word. You can’t say it because you’re not English.”

“I wouldn’t be saying it if you didn’t say it all of the time. And I’m not taking it back because that’s how it sounds,” Alandra replied, sitting at her vanity to remove her jewelry and make up from her face. She knew Spike was standing behind her, fuming, but couldn’t see him in the reflection of the mirror except for the burning cigarette floating in the air.

“If I didn’t have this bloody chip in my brain,” Spike said under his breath, prompting Alandra to turn in her seat, a small, sarcastic smile on her face.

“You’d do what exactly? Hurt me? Fight me? I would like to see you try,” she taunted. Spike snarled, taking a step towards her, a hand up as if to squeeze her brain, but instead squeeze his own as blinding pain flashed through his mind. Alandra shot to her feet, settling him down on the bed. 

“Don’t touch me,” he said, pushing her off. Alandra released him, but hovered over him till she was sure the pain seemed to have left him. Spike looked up at her, eyes wide and wondering. Despite their arguing and his claim to hate her, she still tried to help him, to take care of him. As if he was worthy of her help, of her friendship.

“I’m going to head to bed now,” Alandra told him, her voice soft. He could tell he had hurt her by his actions and forced himself to not care about the sad look that had entered her eyes. He slowly stood, taking a puff of his cigarette before sauntering out and closing the door behind him. Alandra sucked in a nervous breath as she sat on the foot of her bed, her hands clutching to her hair, wondering what she was doing.

~0~0~

Spike shot to his feet from the chair as he heard the terrified screams come from Alandra’s room. He ran the steps two at a time, her screams becoming louder and louder the closer he got. 

“No more! No more! I’m sorry. I’ll say your name. I’ll say your name,” she cried out, her limbs tangled in her sheet, sweat clinging to her skin, her curls mussed around her faced as she writhed on her bed. Spike threw the door open, causing it to bang against the wall.

“Please! Please, please, please! I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she begged out to the person in her dreams, fear tightening her muscles. Spike knew what she was dreaming of. Her torture at Angelus’s hands. He quickly stepped to her side, grabbing her face in his hands to shake her lightly.

“Alandra, wake up. Wake up damn it,” he ordered, his voice nearly a yell. Alandra struggled against him, trying to push him off, but he tightened his hold on her.

“Please, no more,” she begged again, the sound of her voice nearly breaking his heart. He wrapped an arm around her to sit her up, bringing her hot skin closer to his cool one.

“Ok pet, no more. Wake up for me now,” he said, his voice soft and caring, “Wake up for me darling. It’s just a dream. It’s just a dream.” He felt his body still at her gasp for breath, her eyes immediately opened wide. 

“Spike,” she asked, her voice cracking slightly, “I have to get out. I need to get out of the mansion.” Tears fell down her cheeks, her eyes slightly crazed. Spike gently brushed her hair away from her face before wiping away her tears with his thumb.

“You’re out luv. You’re out. You’re home. He can’t hurt you any more. Angelus is gone. You’re safe,” Spike told her, holding her closely to him, as if he could absorb her fear. It was so tangible he felt he could taste it. He used to enjoy being able to taste fear. He still does, on anyone but her. 

She clutched his shirt, her eyes looking around the room, to see if she was really there, if she was really home, before collapsing into him, her head resting on his chest. The tears returned, coming in sobs, but Spike knew these ones weren’t of fear. They were of relief.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had a nightmare I forgot what they felt like,” she said, releasing a shaky breath before pulling away to look up at him. Her eyes still held fear, but there was also relief and gratitude. Seeing gratitude in her eyes scared him.

“Thank you Spike. For everything,” she whispered, her hands still tight on his shirt. Spike nodded, not knowing what to say. He began to release her to go back to sleep, but her hands never let go of him. He looked back down at the wide eyes. Eyes that he had always been drawn to from the moment he had seen them.

“Can you stay? I know you hate me, but can you stay? Just for tonight,” she asked, her voice quiet and unassuming. She needed him, and it had been so long since someone had needed him. He nodded, wrapping his arms around her once again.

“Yea sunshine,” he said softly, laying down on the bed with her, kicking his boots off smoothly, “I’ll stay with you.” Alandra sighed, curling into him, her hand still clutching to him tightly, as if he would fade away. Spike simply laid there, an arm around her and an arm behind his head. He listened to her heart beat as it finally began to slow down, his fingers lightly tapping her side, matching it’s rhythm. He hated to admit it, but he knew that she was wiggling her way into his heart, despite everything she had said and done. And he enjoyed it.


	5. Chapter 5

“Where’s Buffy,” Alandra asked as she stepped into Giles’s apartment, noticing the worried expressions on everyone’s faces. 

“She was called into the Initiative, she hasn’t returned yet,” Xander told her, making fear spike in Alandra’s heart. 

“She’ll be back soon. It was supposed to be a routine type thing,” Willow said, trying to remain hopeful for everyone. They all looked towards the sound of the door opening, relief flooding them all at the sight of Buffy. Bruised and beaten, but alive.

“What happened,” Giles quickly asked, stepping over to her to help her. Buffy waved him off, sitting down on her own, a determined look on her face.

“Dr. Walsh set me up. It was a trap,” Buffy told them. Alandra could feel anger fill her up and began to pace around the room.

“I knew something wasn’t on the up and up with them. What did I tell you,” Alandra said into the air. Giles straightened his back, removing his glasses in his typical fashion.

“I don’t think this the time for ‘I told you so’ Alandra,” the older man said calmly, making Alandra pause in her pacing.

“You’re right. I’ll definitely save it for later,” Alandra replied, her tone filled with exasperation. They all looked towards the door again, Riley stepping through and running to Buffy. She smiled, but it was filled with the pain of knowing what his mentor had done.

“Buffy, are you ok? I went to the Initiative and Professor Walsh said that you had died, and then you appeared on the screen and I’m just so confused,” Riley told her in a single breath, confusion clouding his eyes.

“It was a trap,” Buffy told him, following behind him as he took a step back from her, “She told me it was a routine mission and gave me a faulty weapon. She wanted me dead.” They all could see denial fill Riley’s face. He wanted to believe Buffy, but he also wanted to trust Walsh. He didn’t know what to do.

“No, something must have gone wrong. I need to take a walk,” Riley said before running out of the apartment, leaving the Scoobies alone. A hurt look came over Buffy’s face as she watched Riley leave. Alandra stepped beside her, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder before wrapping an arm around her in a hug.

“Don’t worry. He just needs to process everything that has happened. He’ll come around,” Alandra said to her in a soft voice, hoping her words would bring her some ease. Buffy looked towards her, her smile full of gratitude and sadness. Alandra just hope that she was right.

~0~0~

“What do you mean Walsh created a super demon human thing,” Alandra nearly yelled. She really didn’t like this Walsh, and she hadn’t even met the woman yet. A sad look came over Buffy’s features.

“Professor Walsh was killed,” Buffy told her, turning Alandra immediately solemn. Alandra stilled before wrapping the other girl in a hug.

“I’m sorry Buffy. I know you cared a lot about her,” Alandra whispered into the blonde’s ear, holding tightly to her. Buffy reciprocated the hug, amazed at how far they had come. She used to think she hated Alandra. The girl that threatened to take everything from her, but she grew to understand her. Things were thrown at Alandra just as much as they were at Buffy, and all they could do was handle it one step at a time.

“This creature’s name is Adam. We have to find him before he hurts anyone else,” Buffy said to her, determined looks coming over both of their features as they pulled away from each other. Buffy knew that she had found a good friend in Alandra. That she would have her back, just like Willow and Xander. And in that moment Buffy felt like everything was going to be ok.

~0~0~

Alandra was packing up her weapons, preparing for battle. She hadn’t seen Spike for days, but she knew what he had done, and she was furious. He joined forces with Adam, trying to break Buffy down and turned the Scoobies against her. Alandra had been the only one he didn’t try it on. She wasn’t sure why, but it didn’t make her feel any better.

She heard the front door open and close and the heavy foot steps on the stairs and knew that it was Spike. She continued on packing what she thought she would need, ignoring his presence in her door way.

“Ello there sunshine,” he said cheerfully before fully entering into her room with the swagger he always walked in, “Where are you off to?”

“I’m off to clean up your mess,” she spat out, placing an axe in her bag. Spike was taken aback by the harshness of her words. He stepped closer to her, trying to look into her eyes, but she refused to look back at him.

“What are you going on about pet? What mess,” Spike asked, truly confused by what she was saying, and then fear crept over his skin. She had heard about what he had done, how he had joined up with Adam. 

“You know exactly what mess Spike,” she said, tossing her bag down to spin around and look at him. He could see fire in her eyes, the color switching between grey and amber yellow. 

“I can explain,” Spike began, but Alandra cut him off.

“What’s to explain? He offered to take the chip out if you helped trick the Slayer. Did I miss anything,” she hissed, stepping towards him, poking him hard in the chest. Spike’s hands were up in the air in surrender, taking a step back every time she took a step forward.

“Alright, so there isn’t anything to explain,” Spike admitted, making Alandra snarl in anger before turning away from him to finish packing. Spike placed a hand on her arm, forcing her to turn to look at him again. His blue eyes were gleaming with the need for her to understand, for anyone to understand.

“I need to get this chip out. Do you know how frustrating to not be able to do what you want? It’s as if I’m strapped to a chair, begging for scraps of food,” Spike told her, making her crossing her arms in anger. 

“No, I have no clue what it’s like to be begging for food. To see it, smell it, but it always be out of reach. I have no clue what it’s like to be held back from freedom,” she replied sarcastically, making Spike and cover his face with his hand. He opened his mouth to say something else, but Alandra cut him off before he could.

“Listen. We’re about to go fight Adam. And even though I’m mad as hell about what you’ve done, I understand why you did it,” Alandra said, some of her immediate anger releasing from her body in a sigh. The danger of what she was about to go into was hanging over her head like a cloud. And as much as he had faith in Buffy’s and the other’s abilities, the is always the risk that one of them won’t come home, and today, that risk seemed to be bigger than usual.

“You’re my friend Spike. You’ve helped me when I’ve needed it most, even though you didn’t want to, and I don’t think you’ll ever truly realize how much you mean to me. I just wanted to tell you that, in case something happened to me,” she finished shyly, the penetrating look Spike gave her filling her with something she hadn’t felt in a long time. Not since she had first became friends with Angel.

“You don’t have to fight you know,” Spike replied, watching as she lifted the weapon-laden back on to her shoulder, determination squaring her body. Her hair was down, falling to her shoulders in curls, the front pulled back in a small braid. She used to hide behind her hair, but no more. She used to wear long sleeves and pants, hiding her scars, ashamed, but no more. She had come so far, and he was in awe of her strength. 

She smiled brightly at him, but it held a tinge of sadness that she still carried around with her, “And let everyone else have fun? What type of person would I be if I did that?” Spike wasn’t able to answer her as she swept past him, out of her room and out of the house. He felt tingles of electricity shoot through his body at the way her hand grazed his as she walked past him, filling him with a feeling he hadn’t felt since he had first seen Drusilla that night he was turned. Like he was needed and that anything was possible. He hated it and loved it all at the same time and decided to push it aside and followed after her.

~0~0~

Sweat dripped down Alandra’s back as she fought the demons that had taken over the Initiative. She was trying to buy the other Scoobies time for the spell to give Buffy more power to fight Adam, leaving her to stand at the doorway to beat back whatever demons came that way. She could feel her body weakening, her muscles straining to keep the axe up.

A two demons had come at her at the same time, one from the front and one from the side. Her moves were sluggish as she lifted the axe to swing it at the demon in front of her, her chest heaving with the strain to bring it down on it. She barely was able to cut it’s head off when the other grabbed her by the throat, cutting off her air way. She struggled against it, trying to free herself, feeling the strain of needing to breathe over come her when she was suddenly released. She fell to her knees, her hand at her neck, trying to soothe the pain of being held there, coughing and gasping, trying to get air back into her system.

She looked up and saw Spike quickly snap the demon’s neck, killing it instantly. He kneeled down beside her, gripping her arm and wrapping his own arm around her waist to help her stand.

“You alright there Sunshine,” he asked her as he quickly checked over her body for other injuries. She coughed hard enough to make him believe she was coughing up a lung, but otherwise seem uninjured.

“Fine. Hand me my axe,” she commanded, her voice hoarse. Spike looked down to find the axe splintered and broken, the only thing usable was blade. 

“Sorry darling, the axe is out of commission. Let’s get you out of here though, bit. You weary to your bones,” Spike told her, his voice soft and soothing and pleading. She didn’t know where the change had come from, when he had stopped showing bravado, but he had, and she felt touched at his willingness to show vulnerability with her. She shook her head in the negative, standing up straight, forcing her muscles and bones to listen to her.

“I stay and fight. You can leave if you want to. But they need back up, and I’m going to give it to them,” Alandra told him as she looked around for a weapon, any weapon. She saw a spear laying on the ground to the side, wondering when any of the Scoobies had brought it with them, but didn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. She felt a surge of power as she picked it up, giving her renewed strength. Spike stepped away from her, watching as her body glowed yellow, bright enough to light up the room.

“What’s going on Alandra,” Spike asked, his voice filled with awe and worry. Alandra’s head snapped to look at him, her eyes glowing yellow, but different from the amber of a vampire. It was if there was a light glowing from within her, pouring out of her in waves of power. Spike’s brows furrowed as he looked at the spear that she held in her hand. It was painted black with engravings that also glowed, swirls and spirals and markings covering the entire length of it. The head of the spear was sharp and pointed. He knew she would be able to easily slice into whatever foe that crossed her path.

“I don’t know,” she told him before a smile lit up her face, “But it feels good. Let’s go finish this.” She ran off, cutting down every demon that came towards her. Spike watched in amazement as she spun the spear with ease and grace, slamming into her opponents before using her momentum to kick them. He didn’t know where she had learned to fight like that, but he found it beautiful and dazzling and he couldn’t look away. 

She had taken down half of the demons that had been attacking the Initiative, helping to protect any of the soldiers that needed it. Spike heard a loud clanging from behind him and turned around to see a demon entering in the room the Scoobies were hiding in to help Buffy. He knew that if he helped them they would be less likely to stake him for what he had done and quickly ran to the demon, kicking it into the room before knocking it out with the metal door that had fallen off. The Scoobies all looked and glared at him with Buffy stepping forward, her arms crossing her chest.

“Well ello’ there gang,” Spike said cheerfully, lifting his hand in the air in greeting.

“What are you doing here Spike,” Buffy asked slowly, her heard cocking to the side, waiting for his answer,

“I’m fighting the bad guys here to help you lot,” Spike scoffed, “Obviously.”

“You’re fighting them so that we don’t stake you,” Buffy told him, her voice filled with exasperation. Spike shrugged and nodded, knowing that there was no more reason for pretenses anymore.

“Well, yea. Did it work,” he asked, looking at all of the Scoobies as he waited for an answer.

“For now,” Buffy told him ominously before looking behind him, a worried expression coming over her features.

“Where’s Alandra? She was the one that was watching the door,” Buffy asked him, anger filling him up. He stepped towards her, getting close enough for the other Scoobies to take a step towards them, prepared fight him off, even though they all knew he couldn’t hurt her.

“What were you thinking leaving her to watch the door alone,” Spike hissed out, “She’s human. She doesn’t have special powers to help her keep going when she gets tired, or to heal her quickly if she gets injured. “

“Alandra was the one who insisted on being out there, not us,” Xander told him, “You know how stubborn she can be.”

“That doesn’t change anything. What if she had gotten hurt? Or worse,” Spike nearly yelled, taking all of the Scoobies aback. Buffy’s eyes narrowed in suspicion of Spike’s words and actions.

“Not too long ago you said that you hated her. What changed? What do you care if she got hurt,” Buffy asked him. Spike was silent before opening his mouth to answer when they heard a loud crash come from outside. They all ran out of the room, finding Alandra shoving the spear into a demon, sending it’s blood and organs every where. 

“I recognize that spear! It’s from Ethiopia. How did Alandra get a hold of it,” Giles asked as they all stood and watched her fight. The Scoobies looked at her with shock and awe and worry. They could feel her power wash over them, could barely see past how brightly her glow emanated from her. 

“It was there, she picked it up, then she glowed. She could barely walk, but the moment she touched it she was jumping into the fight,” Spike told the other Englishman. Worry began to settle over Giles’s heart as well. They didn’t know what the spear did, how it got there, and Alandra had just picked it up. He had no clue what the spear would do to her. 

She had taken down two more demons before a third larger demon knocked it out of her hand. The glow immediately disappeared, her body slumping in exhaustion and pain. Spike’s and Buffy’s eyes widened at the sudden loss of her power and ran to her. The large demon knocked Alandra to the side with it’s large hand, making her crash into the wall. 

“Grab her and get her out of here,” Buffy yelled to Spike. He did as was ordered, but growled in frustration at being unable to take a crack at the demon that hurt his Alandra. He didn’t know when he had started thinking of her as his, but he didn’t want to let the thought distract him. He quickly lifted Alandra into his arms, holding her body closely to his. He didn’t look back as he swept past the Scoobies and out of the burning Initiative. He didn’t like back to see if Buffy had defeated the demon or if anyone had followed behind him. He just thought about getting her out and getting her to safety. He ignored the sweet smell of her blood as it dribbled down her chin from the corner of her mouth. She had a small smile on her face, her eyes fluttering open and looking up at him with such happiness and smugness on her features.

“I did good today Spike,” she said in a soft voice, her voice slightly hoarse from all the yelling she had done earlier.

“Yea Sunshine,” Spike said just as softly, glancing down at her but never stopped running, “You did good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the updates! I will try to have the next chapters up as soon as possible! Once again, please leave feedback, I love hearing what you all think, even if it's criticism! Also, I somehow magically fixed the problem with the listing for the series thing so now it says it's part 2!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update everyone! As an apology and as a gift for the holiday season I'll be posting three chapters today! I hope you enjoy!

It had been 2 weeks and Alandra was still healing from the battle with Adam and the demons in the Initiative. Bruises were covering her body, all in various stages of black, green, and purple. New scars had been added to her collection, but she had been beaming with pride, despite the limp that she carried and the sharp pain from her cracked ribs. She moved slowly, but surely, and every day the pain lessened.

“Morning Sunshine,” Spike said as she came down the stairs, her footsteps still heavy, her breath still heaving. But he knew she was getting better. Not only with her injuries on her body but with her injuries in her heart. The fight seemed to have reinvigorated something in her to brighten smile and eyes once again. She smiled at him as she rounded the corner into the kitchen. How he had missed that smile. He hadn’t realized the cloud she had been carrying around with her until it was gone. She hissed in pain as she sat down at the kitchen table, but her cheeriness didn’t dissipate. 

“Do you want some breakfast,” Spike asked her as he finished grilling bacon for his BLT. Alandra slowly turned to look at him, an incredulous look on her face, remaining silent. Spike looked up at her, confusion painting his own features.

“Why the bloody hell are you staring at me like that? You knew I could cook before this,” he told her loudly, looking offended by her staring.

“You’ve been acting domestic lately and it’s freaking me out,” she replied as she scrunched up her nose at him, “Stop it.” Spike slammed his plate that he had grabbed from the cupboard on the counter before angrily creating the sandwich.

“Well sorry for trying to take care of you while you can barely even walk without crying out in pain. I’ll be sure to stop doing that,” Spike told her sarcastically, but grabbed another plate for her anyway and began to build her sandwich. Alandra smiled as he placed the plate in front of her with a glass of apple juice before settling himself at the table across from her.

“I don’t get any respect around here,” he said more to himself than to her, “I do all of the cooking and cleaning and what do I get in return? Complaints!” 

“You’re right Spike. It was very ungrateful of me, I’m sorry,” Alandra told him, trying hard to keep her laughter and smile in. Spike heard a small giggle escape from her and quickly looked up from his food to glare at her.

“Are you laughing at me little girl? Me? The big bad? Part of the Scourge of Europe,” Spike said in a disbelieving and affronted tone. Alandra didn’t hold back her laughter this time. He enjoyed the sound of it in the air, washing over him. He always enjoyed the sound of laughter, but had also enjoyed the sound of screams as well. Not her screams, her screams had always rattled him to the core, and he still didn’t understand why.

“No, no I’m not,” she said, trying to stop her laughter but failing. Spike stood up and stepped very closely to her. So closely that his nose was nearly grazing hers, his eyes burrowing deep into her. Alandra struggled to hold in her laughter even more, her eyes crossing as she tried to maintain eye contact.

“You’re not scary Spike,” she told him, making him huff in anger. He backed away and looked down at her, his blue eyes swimming with amusement, his face still looking offended.

“I’m not scary? I’m the big bad luv! And you best remember that,” Spike replied before settling back down into his seat. Alandra said nothing but smiled at him before lifting her own sandwich to her mouth, savoring all of the flavors of the bacon, lettuce, and tomato meld together on her tongue. She closed her eyes in satisfaction of relieving the hunger she had been feeling, releasing a small moan as she chewed. She didn’t notice Spike look up at her, his eyes filling with hunger. It wasn’t for food or blood, but something else. It was a hunger for her that he had been feeling since the battle. He wanted to take care of her and bring her into the safety of his arms, and he didn’t know how to handle these new feelings. 

He had always thought she was beautiful, but not for the same reasons he had thought Drusilla was beautiful. Drusilla was like a snake; graceful, cold, quick, smooth, and could have you wrapped up in her and dead before you even realized it. Alandra was like a phoenix. She was bright and shining and full of fire. She was also incredibly strong. She always rose from the ashes of her past and tried to make her own future better and always seemed to be gentle despite everything. He always wanted to be around her warmth, her fierceness. He wanted to protect her, but he knew that she could always protect herself. 

They were finishing up their sandwiches when they heard a loud knock coming from the front door. They looked at each other, confused by who could be there. The Scoobies would usually just walk in, and Alandra and Spike didn’t hang out with any one else really.

“Are you expecting someone over,” Alandra asked Spike. He shook his head and began to stand up but Alandra stopped him.

“I’ll get it. I don’t want you toasty,” she told him as she stood up herself, but he could see the pain in her eyes as her muscles strained to lift her up. Spike stood anyway, and followed closely behind her. Alandra glanced at him before shaking her head in annoyance but continued heading to the front door anyway. Spike stood to the side, away from direct sunlight, but close enough to protect her if it was a demon that was coming after her. 

Alandra stood on her tip toes to look through peep hole to see who was outside. She didn’t have to look long to know who it was. She would recognize the hate and scorn from anywhere. Spike could hear her heart beat quicken, could smell the fear and anger that began to suddenly emanate from her. She turned around, resting her back on the door as the next few knock were banged upon it.

“Do you know who it is? Is it a demon,” Spike asked, worry lacing his voice as he stepped towards her to reassure her. Alandra looked up at him, her grey eyes asking him to save her, to take her away from this moment.

“Yes, I know who it is. And no, it’s not a demon, but it might as well be. It’s my mother,” Alandra told him before turning back around and opening the door wide. Her mother’s scowl turned into a smug smile at the sight of her. 

“Hello Ophelia,” Alandra said darkly, a smile distorting her own features before stepping aside to let the short woman in. 

~0~0~

“Hello Alandra,” Ophelia said as she stepped into the house. She was dressed elegantly in a brown skirt and blazer, her heels barely bringing her to Alandra’s shoulder height, clicking loudly against the tile of the doorway before softening on carpet. Her dark brown hair was perfectly coifed, her make up simple yet elegant. She was so pale that Spike wondered if she was a vampire, despite her stepping inside from the sun. She carried an air of disdain and Spike immediately hated her. She looked disgusted and yet disinterested as she glanced at the home before eyes landed on Spike.

Her smile became sickly sweet and flirtatious as she caught sight of Spike’s bare chest, her tongue curling over her lips as she checked him out from head to toe. Spike had always appreciated the gaze of women on him, but something about the way she did it made him feel dirty, tainted. 

“And who is this,” Ophelia asked Alandra, but didn’t allow her to answer as she took a step towards him, her hand out to be grasped, “My name is Ophelia, I’m Alandra’s mother.”

“Name’s Spike,” he answered harshly, crossing his arms and glaring down at her hand before landing the look on her face. Ophelia seemed to quickly take the hint and dropped her hand and nearly snarled at him before turning back to her daughter.

“Who did that to you? Was it him,” Ophelia asked, stepping further into the house and settling herself on one of the chairs in the living room. Alandra closed her eyes, her hands clenching into fists. Spike placed his own hand around hers, loosening the grip to hold it properly. Alandra glanced down at the clasped hands before looking up at him, a grateful smile on her lips. She knew with him there she could get through this. 

He helped her to the couch that was across from her mother, sitting so close that not an inch of her side didn’t touch his. He kept her hand tightly clutched in his. He was her rock, a position he was used to with Drusilla. 

“What do you want Ophelia? You’re not even supposed to be here since the Judge made the ruling,” Alandra said, leaning back in her seat and resting her back. Her body was sore and in pain, but she could work through it.

“The Judge said I couldn’t get within 50 feet of you until after you turn 18. You’re currently 19. So I can get as close to you as I want,” Ophelia countered smugly. Spike squashed the urge to growl at her and rip her throat out. He knew that he would be in pain for a while, but the head ache would be worth it to wipe that smug expression off of her face. 

“Fine,” Alandra sighed out, exhaustion filling her body and making her slump against Spike, “What do you want?”

“I know your father has some money set aside for when you were supposed to be going to college. Since you’re not in school, I would be happy to take some of that money off your hands,” Ophelia told her as she stood up and walked around the room, looking at it with distaste. Alandra knew that was why she had come. Her mother had never been good with spending and had sent her father into a nervous worry over their credit card debt many times. Alandra sat up and looked at Spike, a sad smile on her face as she squeezed his hand.

“Can you give us a moment Spike? I need to speak to her alone,” Alandra asked him, her voice quiet but it was as if she was yelling at him, begging him to stay with her. Spike glanced at the woman before looked back down at Alandra, his eyes burrowing deep into hers. He placed a gentle hand on her cheek before nodding and standing up and walking out of the living room and down to the basement. 

Alandra stood up from the couch, wincing in pain but fought it down as she stepped towards her mother. She never understood how her mother had gone from loving to spiteful. To be filled with warmth then later to be filled with ice. But money will change people for either the worse, or the better, and her mother had been for the worse.

“I’m going to give you the money,” Alandra said slowly, her voice filled with a darkness she hadn’t realized she possessed, “And then I never want to see your face again.”

“It’s really rude to speak to your mother that way. I deserve your respect,” Ophelia replied sarcastically before finishing her statement with anger, filling Alandra with her own anger.

“You haven’t been my mother since I was eight years old. You don’t care about me, and I’ve come to realize that you probably never have. So why should I give you any respect mother,” Alandra spat out, the force of it sending a shooting pain through her side. She was surprised when she felt an arm go around her waist, holding her up. She looked up to see Spike, a concerned expression on his face as he glanced down at her before glaring at her mother. He took her to the couch and sat her down, the look her gave her brooking no argument. 

“Get the fuck out,” Spike hissed out so softly they had to strain to hear what he said. When Ophelia hadn’t moved he took two quick steps to her, his stride full of anger. The older woman looked up at him wide eyes, filled with fear. He wanted to drain her. To torture her with a spike and make her beg for freedom. To make her scream her apologies to Alandra for everything she had done to her.

“I said get the fuck out,” he yelled at her, making the woman jump before running her hands down her blazer, smoothing out the wrinkles and her fear. She walked towards the door before looking past Spike who stood protectively over Alandra to her, a sadistic and smug smile on her face.

“I want my money Alandra. I want it two days from now or there will be consequences,” Ophelia said before walking out of the front door, leaving the house in a heavy silence. Spike slowly turned around to look at Alandra, a smug smile on his face.

“It’s a good thing you’re not going to give her a dime,” Spike said as he sauntered over to her. Alandra remained silent and simply looked down at her hands, her thumbs and fingertips wrapping around each other over and over again, her teeth biting her bottom lip. 

Spike kneeled down in front of her, trying to make eye contact, “Right? You’re not going to give her a single cent, right,” he asked her, his head bowing left and right to try to look into her eyes, but she would turn away from him. He finally lifted his hand to gently grasp her chin and lifting her face up to look at him. Her eyes told him everything. The shame she felt at giving into her mother’s demands, the happiness she had felt having completely escaped her. 

“I’m going to give her the money,” Alandra told him, her voice wavering with emotion. Spike scoffed as he pushed away from her, careful not to hurt her as he released his hold on her chin. He began to pace back and forth in anger, confusion tightening his features.

“You’re bloody stupid. Why are you going to give that woman money? You know what you should give her? A fucking spike to the throat! That’ll shut her up,” Spike said, glee in his voice as he imagined driving a spike through the woman’s throat, the blood spewing out of her and down his own throat. Alandra sighed out in exhaustion before standing up and heading to the stairs.

“I’m tired Spike. I’m tired of being in pain. I’m tired of people telling me what to do. I’m tired of dealing with her. If giving her money is going to have her leave me alone, then I’m going to take it. I’m going upstairs to take a nap,” Alandra finished tiredly, and that’s when Spike saw it. Alandra had been beat down, physically, emotionally, mentally, over and over again. But she always came back, she always rose to back to the top and beat through it. He had seen her with her light and fire nearly gone, seen the graying of her skin and the pain she felt over Angel, but her mother was different. Seeing her mother made her want to give up on everything, made her give up on everything. And he knew he had to stop it before it became worse.

“She’s going to keep coming back,” he yelled after her as she walked up the stairs, “Once you give her a little, she’ll know to take advantage and keep coming back for more. Don’t let her do that to you Alandra.” He was met with silence, her back to him as it disappeared up the stairs. Once she was gone Spike felt determination flood him. He ran down to the basement and grabbed a shirt and his leather duster and his blanket before running out into the sun as fast as he could.

~0~0~

Buffy immediately had her hands in fists, ready to fight as Spike burst through her back door, smoke curling from the top of his head as he removed the blanket from over him.

“What the hell are you doing here Spike,” Buffy asked, her voice filled with exasperation as she lowered her hands. Spike was offended and was about to make a quip but squashed it, Alandra came before rivalry.

“It’s Alandra,” he told her, lifting his hands in the air to reassure the worried look on Buffy’s face, “She’s not injured, don’t worry. Her mother came today, asking for money. Horrible woman. She’s dressed in designer skirts and heels and is still trying to get money from Alandra.”

“Alright, so what’s the problem? I’m assuming her and Alandra don’t have the best relationship,” Buffy asked him. Spike nodded as he moved to sit down at the kitchen counter, ignoring the disgruntled and disgusted look she gave him.

“That’s an understatement. Could smell the fear on her before the woman even walked through the door. And she’s actually going to give the woman the bloody money. Stupid girl,” Spike spat, running a hand through his hair. 

“Maybe she’ll leave once she gets the money from Alandra,” Buffy replied, her voice filled with hope. Spike looked at her, his lip curling at her words.

“You and I both know that woman is going to keep coming every time she needs money until she bleeds Alandra dry,” Spike told her, his arm resting on the counter. Buffy nodded, knowing that what Spike said was true. They were silent for a moment before looking at him, concern filling her face once again.

“How bad was it,” Buffy asked, her voice soft. Spike ran his hand through his hair before sighing once again, thinking of the right words to say.

“When that woman left Alandra was meek, quiet, twiddling her thumbs. She never twiddles her thumbs, ever. She had been so happy earlier, but the moment she saw her all of her happiness was drained from her. I have seen Alandra at her worst. I’ve seen her when the light was nearly gone out of her eyes, but she’s never given up. Never,” Spike explained to her, passion in his voice. Buffy had only seen Spike like this with Drusilla, and a realization came over her.

“You love her,” Buffy said aloud, to shocked to notice she had given voice to her thoughts. Spike’s head shot up to look at her, eyes wide and full of fear and denial, a snarl overcoming his features.

“I do not love her. She is my friend. That is all. And if you say that to anyone else, chip or no, I will kill you,” Spike spat out before quickly grabbing his blanket and running back out into the sun.


	7. Chapter 7

Alandra woke with a start at the sound of yelling coming from her door way. She hissed in pain as the movement caused for her to jar her still tender ribs. Her eyes widened when she felt two sets of hands caressing her and trying to soothe her. She could feel the warmth of her bond with Angel fall over her, the way his calloused hands ran over her skin the only way his did. It had felt so real that she finally looked up to see him on the side of her bed, his brown eyes clouded with worry. She immediately pulled her arm from his grasp, anger flooding her body and seeping over to him through their bond. Angel’s face became an expressionless mask, but she could see the hurt and love in his eyes.

“What are you doing here Angel? I told you to never come back and see me,” Alandra said to him, her voice cold and dark. 

“I know your mother is here Alandra,” Angel replied, his voice filled with concern. Alandra’s eyes widened, before narrowing in suspicion.

“Who told you,” she asked, her voice cold. When he glanced over to where Spike stood in her door way her head whirled around to glare at the other vampire. Spike looked between them for a moment before realizing what Angel was implying.

“What? No, I wouldn’t tell the poofter anything! Least of all something that would bring him here! I hate him remember,” Spike said, his body tense, his eyes pleading for Alandra to understand. She had to admit that it made sense, but she wanted to know how Angel found out.

“Actually, Buffy called and told me,” Angel clarified, before glaring at his grand childe. Alandra turned to Spike once again, a single brow lifted in expectation.

“That I did have something to do with that. But what should I have done pet,” Spike asked, sitting on the otherside bed. Alandra felt her anger fill her again.

“You shouldn’t have told anyone! Why did you tell her,” Alandra asked, nearly on the brink of tears, “Is this pay back? I thought we had moved past everything?”  
Angel wanted to cut in and ask what she was talking about, but was too astonished at the intimate relationship Spike and Alandra seemed to have developed. He could feel the sadness and fear from her, and the disappointment. The disappointment of potentially losing Spike’s friendship. He also recognized the loving and pleading gaze Spike currently gave his Alandra. It was the way he used to look at Drusilla. 

“No sunshine, that wasn’t it at all,” Spike replied, making jealousy flare up inside Angel at the pet name and the way he was holding her hand. He couldn’t help but feel smug at the way she pulled her hand away from Spike as she had him.

“I think you should leave Spike,” Angel told him, the words clearly a command. Before Spike could retort, Alandra replied.

“I think you should as well since you have no business being here. I can handle her myself,” she told them, making both men growl out in frustration. She wondered if they knew how similar they were, and yet so different as well.

“If giving her money is how you plan on handling it then you need help,” Angel replied, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Alandra glared up at him, her body beginning to shake with anger.

“You need to lay off of her,” Spike growled out. Angel crossed his arms in front of him, his posture relaxed, but Spike recognized the frustration and anger that was rolling off of him.

“Why are you even here Spike,” Angel said to him, “Don’t you have some cesspit to drunkenly fall into?”

“I do, but your mouth is currently of full of asshole,” Spike shot back. Alandra could see the anger flare up between the two men and couldn’t help but wonder how she become the one trapped in between them. She was too exhausted to try to calm them down, but knew that if she didn’t it would turn into a full blown fight with fists, and she was not ready to try to break that up. She had just opened her mouth to say something when Angel turned to her, his deep brown eyes looking deep into her. 

“Let me do this for you,” Angel said, his voice low. Alandra was silent, contemplating on what this would mean for her. Does this make her a coward to have Angel fight this battle for her?

“Even if I said no, you would do it any way, wouldn’t you,” Alandra asked, but she already knew the answer, could see it in the way his eyes glinted in the light, could feel it in her heart.

“Yes,” he answered honestly, making Alandra smirk. She missed him. Even now her body yearned to feel his skin against hers, the way it’s coolness seemed to almost burn. She longed to feel his arms wrap around her, creating a safe cocoon for her. It always felt like nothing in the world could hurt her when she was in his arms.

“Spike goes with you,” Alandra rasped out, making Angel’s eyes bulge out of their sockets in shock and anger.

“He is not coming with me,” he nearly yelled, both of them turning to look at Spike at his scoff, the younger vampire plopping in a chair beside her bed and pulling out a pack of cigarettes to pop one in his mouth. Alandra turned her head back to Angel, waiting to speak until Angel looked back at her from his glaring.

“If Spike doesn’t go with you then I go with you,” she told him, making both men begin to argue.

“You can barely walk to the bathroom to piss, let alone follow the poofter to the hotel,” Spike said to her.

“How do you know her bathroom habits? Do you follow her,” Angel asked, his voice incredulous.

“No, I don’t follow her! I keep an ear out for her in case she falls or something,” Spike countered, making Alandra sigh in exhaustion.

“Fine, I guess Spike and I will have a night in,” Alandra said loudly over their talking, “Maybe watch a movie or something.”

“Spike, you’re coming with me,” Angel said suddenly, but his voice held no joy at the prospect. Spike smirked but remained silent and bent down to kiss Alandra on her forehead before glaring up at Angel and swaggering out of the room, leaving the former couple alone.

“You know that if I was fully healed you wouldn’t have won so easily,” Alandra told him, making him chuckle softly. She smiled, but winced at the way the movement pained a bruise that was still healing. She gasped when she felt Angel’s cool fingers on the bruise, relieving some of the pain as they grazed lightly over it. Alandra felt her eyes close as she began to nuzzle into his touch and soon his whole palm was cupping her cheek, making her skin tingle. She hummed when she felt his lips on hers, the briefest of touches, but it still brought her comfort.

“We need to talk when I come back,” Angel told her, his words forcing her eyes open. She looked up at him and sighed, suddenly feeling exhausted.

“What could we possibly say that hasn’t already been said,” she asked him, her voice soft as she spoke.

“A lot,” was his simple reply before he bent over and kissed her once again on the lips before straightening and walking out of the room, answering Spike’s yell for him to hurry. He glanced back at her from her doorway but swiftly continued to walk out. Alandra waited to hear the front door close before collapsing onto her back, wincing in pain at the action. She ran her hands down her face and hoped that they didn’t kill her mother, and then began to hope they wouldn’t kill each other on the way there.

~0~0~

It was silent for all of two seconds when the two vampires walked out, Spike being the first to speak and making Angel internally groan in annoyance. The younger vampire had never truly understood that silence was golden.

“Why are you here,” Spike asked him, his voice filled with accusation. Angel didn’t even bother to look at him as he spoke.

“I’m here to take care of Alandra’s mother. Why are you here,” Angel countered. Spike pulled a cigarette out of the pack and placed it on his lips before quickly lighting it, taking a long puff before answering. The smell of smoke began to waft into the air, and although it wouldn’t harm Angel it irritated him all the same.

“I’m taking care of Alandra, like you should be doing,” Spike told him, making Angel growl in anger. The older vampire came to a halt and whirled around to face the younger, both their shoulders squared, their muscles tense and prepared to fight.

“I am taking care of Alandra,” Angel growled out, making Spike laugh, but it was full of sarcasm and anger.

“By running away and leaving her alone and wondering if your feelings for her were ever real? Leaving her to fight by herself and potentially die by herself,” Spike yelled, his nostrils flaring in anger.

“She has Buffy and the Scoobies, she wasn’t alone. And she knows that my feelings for her are real, the bond proves it,” Angel countered, but doubt had already began to niggle it’s way into his mind. Angel turned around to continue walking, leaving Spike in his wake.

“Running away again,” Spike scoffed before following after him, “That’s all you’ve ever done since you’ve gotten that bloody soul! That’s all you’re ever good for!”

“And what are you good for? Huh, Spike? What is the point of you being here at all? And I don’t just mean in Sunnydale, I mean existing! Do us all a favor and stake yourself so we can all have some fucking peace,” Angel roared back and was amazed at the way Spike’s face fell. Angel knew that he had hit a sore spot for his grandchilde and could feel the regret and guilt creep in with the doubt. Spike took another puff of his cigarette, slowly blowing the smoke out of his nostril, the grey wisps curling into the air. His piercing blue eyes burrowed deep into Angel’s brown, the pain and sadness of his over 100 years of life flashing beneath.

“One night Alandra was up, pacing back and forth in the kitchen. She could feel your arousal all the way from fucking LA,” Spike began, and although his voice was soft it rang in Angel’s ears, “She cried because she thought you had moved on, and she hated herself for not being able to do the same. Took me hours to calm her down enough to ignore the feeling and get her to sleep. Other nights she wakes up screaming, nightmares of seeing your death, of when she had to put that sword in your chest. And if she’s really exhausted she’ll have nightmares about when she was in the hands of Angelus. And all she does is cry out your name, begging for you to save her, to protect her, like you had promised. I watch her back when she’s out on patrols or helping fight the big bads, when she runs head first into a fight and comes out bleeding on the other end.”

“You ask me what is the point of me being here,” Spike said, his voice still soft but full of a passion that Angel had never heard come from him, “She is.” Spike took another long drag, the small glow of the tip of the cigarette becoming brighter, leaving ash in it’s wake. Angel remained silent as the blonde threw the used cigarette to the ground, smashing it with the toe of his combat boot.

“Let’s go take care of this woman,” Spike hissed out and walked away, not waiting for Angel to catch up. Angel was frozen for a moment, Spike’s earlier words ringing out through his mind. He had always doubted on a small level if what he had done was right. If leaving her, separating, making that decision for both of them was the right thing to do. Or was it simply out of fear. Not fear of her love or his love for her, but the fear that one day she would have realized what he was, a monster, and make that decision for herself. He was going to have a long talk with Alandra when they got back.

~0~0~

They were able to find Ophelia’s hotel room fast, the young woman at the front desk easily giving up the information with minimal backstory as to who the two men were, seemingly enamored by them with her wide bright eyes and sensuous smile on her lips. If this were any other time, any other day, Spike would have taken her up on the offer she was giving. But it wasn’t.

The hallway was filled with tension as Angel knocked on the door, the men having halted their usual parrying of words after their earlier talk. On the second knock, Ophelia opened the door, a pleasantly surprised look on her face.

“Hello,” she said when her eyes landed on Angel, her voice dropping low in a vain attempt to sound sexy, it just made Spike want to cringe, “And who might you be?”

“My name is Angel, I’m sure you’re familiar with Spike,” Angel gestured to the vampire beside him, “May we come in? It’s important.” 

Ophelia moved back to allow them in, her hand gesturing to the extravagant room filled with white and light, “Please, come in.” She smiled, her eyes smoldering and as the two men walked past she pushed the length of her body against them, forcing their bodies to graze hers. She followed closely behind them, closing the door quietly, her hips swaying back and forth. Spike was amazed that the beautiful soul that was Alandra came from this darkness. She walked around to face them, a black couch behind her.

“So what can I help you with,” she asked, her eyes still holding a smolder that she thought was attractive but wasn’t.

“I’m Alandra’s husband,” Angel began, but Spike turned to give him an incredulous look, his next words cutting Angel off.

“No you’re not,” Spike spat out, making Angel glare at him. 

“I’m as good as, actually even more so,” Angel argued back. Spike quickly scoffed.

“That doesn’t make you her husband! That’s actually very pretentious of you, but I’m not surprised you would take such a liberty with describing your relationship with her,” Spike said, smirking at the way Angel ground his teeth, his jaw twitching in annoyance.

“What was it that you two wanted,” Ophelia said, her demeanor changing, clearly annoyed by their exchange, her face no longer held the sensual looks she was giving them.

“You came to Alandra today asking for money,” Angel told her, immediately cutting to the chase. Ophelia plopped down on the couch, crossing her legs then shrugging her shoulders, lifting up a glass of wine that was sitting on the coffee table and taking a sip.

“You know, I didn’t know the little bitch had it in her,” Ophelia said nonchalantly as she sat the glass back down, “Having two men at the same time. But in all honesty, you two are much too handsome for her.” The words had barely fallen from her lips her back was being slammed against the wall, Angel’s hand around her throat, squeezing just barely tight enough to begin to make breathing difficult. Her entire body shook with fear at the sight of his demonic face, his amber yellow eyes glowing brightly with anger.

“If I hear anything like that come out of your mouth again I will rip your tongue out. Is that understood,” Angel asked, his voice a hiss. Ophelia’s entire body shook with fear as she nodded her acquiescence. Angel gave a small nod and backed away, his vampire façade remaining on his face. He slowly walked around the room, looking at the various accouterments that had been placed around the hotel room. 

“What is it that you want,” Ophelia asked again, her voice calm as her hands shook to grab the glass that held her wine. She quickly glanced at Spike who had lit another cigarette that was hanging from his mouth. He snarled as he blew the smoke slowly into the air.

“You’re going to leave Sunnydale and never return,” Angel’s voice caused her head to snap to look at him, “She’s not going to give you money, in fact, you’re going to give her money.”

“I think 5,000 for every year you mistreated and abused her should be plenty,” Spike said, smiling sadistically at the fear in her eyes, “When was that again Angel?”

“I believe the age was 8,” Angel replied matter-of-factly, his face remained a mask of indifference. Ophelia was filled with shock as she calculated how much money that was.

“That’s 50,000 dollars! I don’t have that kind of money,” Ophelia cried out. Spike was suddenly in front of her, and Ophelia pressed her body into the couch to try to escape him.

“I suggest you find it,” Spike told her before backing away and finishing off her glass of wine.

“You have two weeks to deposit the money into Alandra’s trust fund, but I expect you out of Sunnydale by tomorrow night,” Angel told her, “If you haven‘t deposited the money in two weeks I will find you and I will drain you dry.”

“Alandra would never stand for you to hurt me, she’s a bleeding soul like that,” Ophelia taunted, a small smirk wobbling on her lips. Angel took a few steps towards her, his amber eyes glowing in the soft lighting.

“Did you even bother to ask how she became so injured when you saw her today,” Angel suddenly asked, surprising Ophelia enough for her to suck in a breath, “Did you even notice how her body had become riddled with scars, or how the light that is usually so bright in her eyes is now barely a flicker of what it used to be? Do you even care?”

“Do you want the honest answer to that question,” Ophelia replied, her voice beginning to fill with strength as her fear dissipated.

“It doesn’t matter what your answer is,” Spike said, ignoring the glare Angel was sending his way, “Either way you have treated her like shit for basically her entire life. Alandra has changed, and she might argue if we brought up what sort of punishment we should give you,” Spike paused as he brought his face closer to hers. He could see her pulse racing beneath the delicate skin of her neck, the smell of smoke and fear wafting in the air and he wished that he could take a bite out of her. A painful, tortuous bite, where she could feel the tearing of her skin beneath his teeth, and the pull of her blood. He wanted it, but the chip wouldn’t allow him.

“But I know,” Spike continued, trying get control of the intense hunger he was feeling, “If you suddenly came up dead one day, she wouldn’t bat an eyelash.”

“You’re bluffing,” Ophelia spat out. Spike smirked, his head tilting to the side in question.

“Are you willing to bet your life on it,” he whispered, licking his teeth as his lips widened in a grin, slowly backing away from her. 

“So what is it going to be Ophelia,” Angel asked, his voice releasing some of the tension in the room, but not much. It was silent as they waited for her answer and Angel could see the similarities between Alandra and Ophelia, despite how different they were. Alandra got the shape of her smile from Ophelia, but the warmth from her father. He could also see Alandra’s eyes in Ophelia’s, but the almond shape seemed harsher and crueler on the older woman. He could see so much of his love, and yet nothing at all, making him wonder how the kind and warm person that Alandra was came from something so cruel.

“Fine, I’ll pay the money,” Ophelia relented. Angel wanted to sigh in relief. He didn’t really have any plans to hurt her, and that Spike couldn’t, but he hoped the fear would push her in that direction. Angel and Spike nodded to her and began to walk out of the room, having nothing else to say to her. Their footsteps halted when they heard her voice.

“I wasn’t always a bad mother,” Ophelia said, her voice soft and almost pleading for them to understand, “But Alandra always caused trouble. Things in the house would end up broken, fights at school. She was a bad seed. I just couldn’t handle it anymore.”

Angel and Spike stared at her, amazed and disgusted by the woman’s words. They couldn’t believe that she actually believed her own words as well. Angel suddenly wanted to rip her throat out, his anger becoming harder to hold onto the longer he was separated from Alandra.

“I don’t know what’s more sad,” Angel began, a look of disgust on his face, “That you told us this because you believed that it would make us pity you. Or that you actually believe it.” He and Spike left without another word, leaving Ophelia alone with his words.

~0~0~

Alandra was gently woken up by Angel in her room, a small and sleepy smile on her lips. Angel couldn’t resist running his fingers against the soft skin of her cheek, the warmth of her body next to his filling him. Alandra stretched out, wincing slightly at the pain before her smile fell, her mind losing it’s fogginess and realizing where Angel was coming from.

“Everything is handled. I just wanted to say goodbye,” Angel told her, his voice barely above a whisper so as not to disrupt the quiet air.

“Stay the night,” Alandra said, her hand reaching up to press his palm to her cheek, “Please?” Angel was surprised by her request. He had thought she would want him back out of her life, but the bond hummed to life, filling the room with it’s bright yellow glow. They needed each other. The bond eased their hurts, calmed their fears, but only as long as they stayed close together. Angel could feel the difference within himself, the warmth that spread through him from his heart. He could always recognize that warmth as his love for Alandra. He slowly laid himself down beside her, kicking his shoes off as he went. He tentatively wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him and sighing in relief as she pressed her body closer to his, her head resting on his shoulder, her light breaths tickling his neck.

His shot up to look at the slightly open doorway, feeling Spike’s presence, forcing himself not to tense so as not to disturb her light slumbering. He saw the jealousy in his eyes, the sadness, the loneliness and the hurt. He was almost tempted to invite Spike in with them, but quickly squashed the feeling. He always felt guilt for what he had done to Spike in the past that made him the way he is today, but he knew that no matter what Spike did, he could not be trusted.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the third chapter I'll be posting tonight! I hope you all enjoyed them and please don't hesitate to tell me what you think of the story so far! Love you all, happy holidays and have a happy New Year!

Spike had been sitting all day, nursing a beer or some blood, alone. Alandra wondered what was on his mind, wanted to delve deep into his thoughts, to ease the sadness that had entered his features, but knew that it would be better to wait for Spike to speak to her. But he simply sat, barely moving, never breathing, just occasionally lifting his arm to bring the bottle to his lips. 

It was early night fall when he finally did something else. He stood up slowly from his seat and went downstairs to the basement where all of his things were held. He didn’t have much, but he began to pack up the little he did have. Alandra had seen him walk down from the kitchen and decided to follow him. Spike could hear her steps and heart beat enter into the room, but ignored her, knowing that the moment he looked into her swirling eyes he wouldn’t walk away. But he needed to walk away.

“What are you doing Spike,” she asked softly, leaning up against the banister of the stairs. Her heart began to sink as the silence stretched on, the only sound was her breathing and the small shuffling of various knick knacks into boxes.

“I’m packing up my stuff,” he replied, his voice low. As if he were quiet his actions wouldn’t hurt her so much.

“I see that. I guess I’m more wondering why,” she said, slowly stepping towards him. Spike paused, his hands resting on the box, his shoulders hunched forward. Her hand burned to touch him, to some how soothe the tension that she could see string itself along his spine. 

“I’ve found a crypt in the cemetery a couple of blocks away from here. So I’ll be close by if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask,” Spike told her, completely ignoring her question. She didn’t know what she did wrong to suddenly have him want to leave, to make him want to walk away.

“Was it me? Did I do something,” she asked, her voice meek and soft. Spike’s eyes widened at her words before turning around finally to face her. Her face was blank, but he could see her vulnerability in her eyes. The grey swirling with emotion and sadness. He brought a gentle hand to her cheek, his thumb lightly caressing it.

“You did nothing wrong sunshine,” he told her, hoping that she could hear the truth in his words, “It’s just time for me to find my own place. We can’t carry on like a married couple forever.” He could tell that his words didn’t completely nullify her, but he knew he was doing the right thing. Even with the chip he was a danger to her, and he couldn’t let any harm come to her. Even if it meant walking away for a while.

“You’ll still come for dinner right,” she asked, a small smile lifting her lips. She didn’t fully understand why Spike was leaving, and the thought of seeing his back as he walked out of the door began a small hole in her heart that she knew would only grow bigger once it actually happened. Everyone walks away from her at some point, and she was beginning to wonder if it was really because of her or not.

“Of course pet, wouldn’t miss your mac and cheese for the world,” Spike replied, a smile slowly rising, but it held a sadness that weighed over them. Suddenly tears sprung into Alandra’s eyes and she couldn’t fight them back any longer. Seeing her tears crushed his heart. She was the one person he could be there for, and he was letting her down. Just like everyone else had let her down. 

Alandra didn’t know why she was so hurt by the thought of Spike leaving. He was one of her best friends, and he was still going to be close. And yet, the thought of him leaving her made her want to crumble. Just like when Angel left.

Spike finally dropped his hand, her warmth immediately escaping his skin and he wanted to hold on to her. To comfort her as her tears fell. But that wasn’t his job, that was Angel’s job. He turned away from her and grabbed his small box of things. He couldn’t bear to look at her tear stained face any longer, seeing the pain and fear in her eyes. He could almost convince himself that she needed him, wanted him, but he knew the truth, and that’s why he had to let her go. 

Alandra remained silent as she watched him walk up the steps of the basement. Spike almost expected her to follow after him, wanted her to follow after him, to stop him from leaving, to show any sign that she wanted him to stay, but she didn’t. She just watched him walk away, the feeling of her eyes on him burning into his back. 

Alandra felt a light tear slip down her cheek, causing her to lift her hand absentmindedly to wipe it away. She caught it on the tip of her finger and looked down at it. Once again someone was leaving her. Once again someone made the decisions for her. Her hand slowly clenched into a fist, her knuckles turning white.

~0~0~

Alandra was on the streets, looking for a sign of any sort of demon or vampire anywhere, but none seemed to want to fight her. She had become just as famed Buffy had amongst the demon community, but no one wanted to fight her for glory like they did with the slayer. The one night she wanted to see a vampire they were nowhere to be found and it irritated her.

She walked through what become one of the many cemeteries within Sunnydale, yelling out comments and obscenities to get someone’s, something’s, attention. 

“It’s amazing that people fear you guys the way you hide in fear. None of you want to come out and fight me? No one wants to have the chance to beat me,” she called out, but only silence met her. She growled in anger, finishing stomping through the grounds when she was suddenly knocked down from behind. She rolled over onto her back to come face to face with a vampire. His jeans and shirt were tattered, a simple leather jacket covering the rest of it’s form, and heavy boots on his feet. Pain blossomed when he kicked her side, not giving her a chance to stand up.

“You’re such a whiny-bitch! Do you ever shut up,” the vampire growled, kicking her in the side again.

“Do you ever not look so ugly,” Alandra coughed, wiping the blood that had begun to spill from her mouth. She sliced her legs in between his, knocking him down to the ground hard. She quickly shot up to her feet, her hands clenched into fists, ready to fight.

“You came here to fight? Well it seems like you came here to die,” the vampire retorted before also quickly getting to his feet. The began, kicks and punches flying. The vampire got in more hits than Alandra normally would have allowed, especially for one so young, but she had a death wish. She didn’t see a point any more. Why live if the ones she love are just going to walk out of her life. At least she’ll be dying on her own terms, with her head held high. 

Pain filled her body, dulling her senses, slowing down her movements. The vampire punched her in the side of her head, knocking her to her knees. She looked up at him, blood dripping down her nose and mouth. He slammed his foot down onto her leg, shattering the bottom half of her leg. She cried out, the sound reaching high into the air.

“First I’m going to fuck you,” the vampire said before grabbing her by the hair and backhanding her, releasing her just in time for her to land onto the ground. He kneeled down beside her, his gleaming amber eyes staring down at her, “And then I’m going to drain you.” He stepped down on her arm, crushing it beneath his heel.

“Everyone is so scared of you,” he told her, landing another kick to her side. She could barely move enough to curl up on herself, “They think you’re a slayer. But you’re just a plain old human. Worthless, weak.” Alandra could feel tears beginning to stream down her face, her entire body going numb to the pain. The words the vampire said were ringing around her mind. She’s heard these things before, from her mother, from Angelus. She’s heard it so often that it must be true. 

She moved to lie on her back, the cool air touching her heated and sweaty skin. She looked up, her sight blurry but she could still see the night sky, the stars twinkling in the darkness. Although it might have been the lamps strewn throughout the cemetery, she wasn’t sure anymore. She was just sure of what was going to happen, she had accepted it, welcomed it. No one needed her now, so why should she go on? Angel was gone, Spike was gone, the Scoobies never needed her in the first place. She was simply space to be taken up. Might as well rest and never rise ever again.

She wasn’t aware of the jingling of the vampire pants as he began to unbuckle his belt and unzip the zipper. She wasn’t aware as he kneeled down at her legs, his hands lowering to reach for her shirt. All she knew was pain and exhaustion and acceptance. She didn’t feel as he lifted the shirt high, his cool hands beginning to touch places only one other person has ever touched. She wasn’t aware of her and the vampire’s new company.

“Well would you lookie here,” Spike said as he noticed the vampire he intended to fight to release some of his anger, kneeling over a woman. His steps were slow and purposeful as he came closer. 

“That’s no way to treat your date,” Spike said, his voice getting the vampire’s attention. The vamp looked up at him, giving Spike a clear view of who he was bent over. Alandra laid there, her body covered in blood, her left leg and right arm twisted in impossible angles. Spike saw the way her shirt was lifted, revealing her bruised stomach and hips, the vampire having just reached her pants button and zipper. Anger flooded him, his vampire face immediately coming to the surface. He grabbed the vampire by the back of the head, wasting no time with the banter he normally participated in to beat down on the vamp. Punch after punch, kick after kick, Spike attacked, easily taking down the vamp before grabbing it by the throat.

“I should tear you limp from limb,” Spike whispered hoarsely, “I should pull your skin from your bones. You should count yourself lucky that I need to get her help, because now you get a cleaner death than you deserve.” Before the vamp could reply Spike ripped his head off, turning the vamp into dust. 

He rushed to Alandra’s side, his hands wavering over her, unsure of what to do. Her face had begun to swell, the blood crusting and flaking. His stomach churned as it’s delicious scent wafted up to his nose, but he focused. He placed his arms under her, lifting her up, the movement making her scream in pain. 

“What have you done Alandra,” he whispered to her, his fear filling him. He could hear her heart beat, feeling it as he carried her. He could hear it slowing, her lungs struggling to get air to the rest of her body. She was dying. He took her to the only place he knew to take her.

~0~0~

Giles groggily walked his front door, grousing at the loud banging that came from it. 

“Yes, I hear you! I’m coming,” he shouted angrily as he turned on the lights. The loud banging didn’t relinquish, irritating Giles even more. He flew open the door to see the sight of Spike holding a bloody Alandra in his arms, fear and desperation in the vampire’s eyes.

“What the bloody hell happened? Did you do this,” Giles accused as he allowed Spike in. Spike walked over to the dining room table, anger and insult filling his face.

“No I didn’t fucking do this! I found her this way in a cemetery on the other side of town, some vampire had attacked her. I didn’t know where else to take her,” Spike nearly yelled, trying to not jostle Alandra too much. Giles nodded, to shocked by the sight to do anything else but clear the table to allow Spike to lay her down on top of it. Spike was gentle as he placed her on the dining room table, his face and eyes turning gentle as he placed a cool palm on her cheek.

“Hold on Alandra. I’m getting you help, but you’ve got to hold on,” Spike begged, Giles voice barely registering in his ears as the man called other Scoobies to come. Alandra coughed, blood dribbling down her mouth and chin.

“Want die,” she croaked, her swollen shut eyes looking up into his. Spike understood her words, anger filling him once again.

“I don’t give a fuck. You’re not dying tonight Alandra, not this way,” he spat out, but his touch remained gentle as Giles handed him a warm wet cloth to begin to clean away the blood. Giles was shocked at the way Spike was treating her, but he searched through his books for healing spells the shock had dissipated. Spike had been gentle with Drusilla as well, but the way he was with Alandra spoke of something much deeper. He didn’t know what it was yet, but he was sure to figure it out.

Just as Spike had wiped most of the blood away from her face the Scoobies came crashing in the front door. Willow and Xander ran to Alandra’s side while Buffy grabbed Spike and tossed him against a wall.

“Let me go,” Spike growled, making sure so as not to lift any threatening finger or thought towards Buffy. Buffy smirked at him before her face fell.

“You’re not going near her! You did this,” Buffy yelled into his face, her hand on his throat beginning to crush his windpipe. Spike was sure he would have been dead if he had been human, good thing he wasn’t.

“I didn’t do this! I found her like this you dumb twat. Now let me go,” he yelled back, desperation filling his entire being. He could hear Alandra’s ragged breathing all the way from where he and Buffy were.

“No,” Buffy pressed back. She was surprised when Spike lifted his arm and punched her in the face. Her shock made her release him as Spike bent over in pain from the chip. Buffy looked down and waited till his pain subsided, shock on her face. The immediate pain had gone away, but as Spike straightened and looked back at her she could see the twinges of pain the chip left him with.

“You punched me, even though you knew the chip would give you pain, to get to her,” Buffy said, her words filled with her surprise. Spike looked her dead in the eye, his hands clenched into fists, ready for pain and a fight.

“I will do anything to get to her,” he told her, his voice even despite the pain he had just gone through. Buffy stared at him for a moment before moving to the side to let him through to the table. Spike nodded and rushed to Alandra’s side, finding Giles and Willow chanting, their hands passing over Alandra’s body as their magic healed her. He ignored Xander’s glare as he grabbed Alandra’s hand , bending over to look her in the eye. Giles and Willow’s magic had already began to heal the most severe of the damage on her face, the swelling having gone down significantly. Her storm grey eyes looked up at him, her face pleading.

“Let me die,” she whispered, her vocal chords still ruined from her assault. Spike vigorously shook his head, glare at her for her words.

“I’m not losing you. I refuse. Call me selfish, call me whatever you want. But I will go to hell and back before I let you die. You’re stronger than this Alandra, don’t give up just yet,” he whispered harshly to her. Alandra didn’t know what to feel. She felt angry that they wouldn’t just let her die, she felt happy that Spike wanted to fight for her, she felt sad for putting them through this, for putting him through this. 

“We’ve taken care of most of the severe of the damage,” Giles told Spike, “We’ll have to take her to the hospital to take care of the rest.” Spike nodded before lifting Alandra in his arms once again, Alandra crying out in pain from the movement jostling her broken arm and leg. He turned to face Xander, his face a blank slate, showing no emotion.

“Go bring your car around,” Spike simply told him. Xander felt the urge to argue but squashed it before running out to grab the car. Spike then turned to Buffy, instinctively clutching Alandra closer to him.

“Call Angel, get him up here. I don’t care what Alandra has told him, he needs to be here,” Spike told the small blonde. Buffy nodded before going to the phone. Spike looked down at Alandra’s face as she rested her head against shoulder.

“I’ll fix everything, alright Sunshine? I’ll fix everything,” he whispered the last words before taking them out to Xander’s waiting car.


	9. Chapter 9

“Cordelia,” Buffy said on the phone as Spike walked out to the car, “Tell Angel he needs to get up here now.”

Cordelia was surprised by the worried tone that came to her through the phone. Although the two girls weren’t the best of friends, Cordelia had known the blonde long enough to know when she was nervous about something.

“Did something happen to Alandra,” Cordelia asked on the other side, worry starting to feel her own voice. She began to make the connection that whatever happened to Alandra would happen to Angel as well.

“Yea, why,” Buffy replied, something heavy landing in her stomach.

“It happened to him to. He can barely even lift his head right now. We’re trying to get some blood into him right now. It doesn’t look to severe, but he could tell the Alandra was in pain. He was in pain,” Cordelia explained, fear in her voice. Buffy sighed, trying to think of what to do.

“I don’t think of either of them will get better until Angel gets here. Bring him up as soon as you can,” Buffy commanded, ignoring Cordelia’s grousing at the other end of the line and hung up. She looked up and saw the worried and tired expressions on Willow and Giles’ faces.

“She’ll make it through. She’s strong,” Buffy told them. Giles and Willow looked at each other, leading to Giles removing his glasses to clean them in his typical fashion.

“Alandra is a survivor,” Giles said, agreeing with Buffy before looking deep into her eyes, sadness mixing with the fear, “But does she want to?”

“What are you talking about,” Buffy asked, but he knew what he meant. She hated to think the person that she once saw as an enemy that now had become one of her closest friends would not want to live anymore. It meant that she had failed as her friend.

“Alandra had told Spike she wanted to die,” Willow whispered, her arms crossing her chest. Tears began streaming down her face, her worry for her friend making her whole body shake. Buffy wrapped Willow in her arms, holding her closely to comfort her.

“Once Angel is here he’ll be able to help her. We can help her get through this,” Buffy said, saying it to comfort both her and Willow.

“She just must have felt so alone. We weren’t there for her,” Willow said, sobs beginning to wrack her body. Buffy held the redhead tightly to her, looking at Giles over her shoulder.

“We’ll be there for her now. We’ll help her get through this,” Buffy whispered to her, the sound harsh as she tried to get Willow to understand. Buffy didn’t know what drove Alandra over the edge, but it won’t happen again. She will fight for her friend, no matter what that might mean.

~0~0~

“We need to get Angel to Sunnydale,” Cordelia told Wesley as they stood over Angel’s bruised and bloody form. The vampire tossed and turned in the bed, groaning and shaking with pain. He wasn’t healing, no matter the amount of blood they gave him.

“What will that do? He needs to heal,” Wesley argued. He never wanted to step into that town again. Mostly because he knew he wouldn’t be welcome there with everything he had done to the Scoobies and Giles. 

“He needs Alandra,” Cordelia hissed back, “And Alandra needs him. She’s been hurt and I know that it has something do with this. We need to wrap him up and get him into the car.”

“What does Alandra have to do anything? What the bloody hell is going on,” Wesley said a little too loudly, waking Angel from his fitful sleep. The vampire groaned in the bed, sitting up enough to look at his two friends. Cordelia knew about the bond between him and Alandra, Doyle had known from the moment they met. 

“Alandra is my bonded remember,” Angel croaked out. Cordelia moved to hand him blood but he waved it away before he continued on, “We share one soul. She is my one and true love. I feel everything she feels, and she feels everything that I feel.”

It was silent as the bond slowly came back to Wesley’s memory. He remembered the research he had done; the long hours he had stayed up to find anything about the bond Angel and Alandra shared. Pieces of information began to crash his mind, his wide eyes staring at Angel’s bloody body.

“You came here despite your bond,” Wesley said, glancing between Angel and Cordelia, “Why did you do that?”

“To protect Alandra. She needed to be in the light,” Angel replied before a cough disrupted everything. Wesley waited patiently for Angel to recover before speaking again.

“It is dangerous for bonded to separate, especially one as strong as yours with Alandra. Of the few reported cases whenever they bonded were apart they got sick faster, angry easier, couldn’t heal properly. But when they are together, they imbue themselves with each other’s life forces,” Wesley explained, “I remember moment’s when Alandra had taken on vampire-like features, that’s because of your bond. You being away from each other was literally killing her.” Angel sat up at Wesley’s words. Memories flooding his mind. Him speaking to Giles, the mentor convincing him to leave. The hours of research Giles had done, but only telling Angel and Alandra the bare minimum. 

“Would Giles have known all of this,” Angel asked, anger beginning to flood his body. 

“Do you think Giles knew that you leaving would have put Alandra in danger,” Cordelia cut in, worry filling her features.

“Giles had all of the tomes on the subject before he was fired. He definitely would have known all of the evidence pointing to it. I’m sure he had a strong suspicion that something would have happened to one of you, if not both of you,” Wesley explained, shocked at the way Angel’s face became its vampire form suddenly. A bright light began to build where his heart sat, the glow moving through his veins in his chest and outward.

“Take me to Sunnydale,” Angel growled, “Now.” Cordelia and Wesley rushed to his side, helping him stand. They packed lightly for the trip, enough to stay there for a few days, Wesley taking a few books that even mentioned the bond. Soon they were out of the offices and in the car. Angel never dropped his face the entire way.

~0~0~

Spike rushed into the hospital with Alandra in his arms, yelling for help. The nurses and a doctor took her off his hands, rushing her in to begin to patch her up. Spike began to follow after them, but one of the nurses held him back, an angry and accusatory look on her face.

“Sir, you’ll have to wait out here,” the nurse began, “She’s stable, but we need to make sure that she stays that way. How did she end up this way?”

“I was walking through town and found her this way. When can I see her,” Spike asked, trying to keep his frustration out of his voice. Xander came to stand by his side and for once Spike was thankful for the younger man’s presence.

“You have to be related to the patient,” the nurse began, but Spike cut her off with his next words.

“I’m her fiancé. Please help her,” Spike nearly begged. He wasn’t sure what he said her did to make the nurse change her demeanor. Maybe it was the panic and pleading in his voice, maybe is was the clear fear he held in his eyes. Whatever it was, she suddenly became very sympathetic. He suddenly realized what he had blurted out but saved it in his mind to deal with later.

“She’ll be fine sir. Can you fill out some paperwork,” the nurse asked him. Spike nodded before being nearly dragged to the waiting area by Xander. The nurse disappeared before reappearing with a pen and a clipboard with papers on top. The nurse nodded as she handed it to Spike before returning to the front desk.

“Fiancé? Really,” Xander said incredulously. Spike looked up at him from filling out the paperwork, a deep growl in his chest.

“Do you think they would believe I’m her brother? Use your head,” Spike told him before looking back down at the paper. Xander scoffed at his words. 

“I am. You told Buffy to have Angel come up here. What do you think is going to happen when he does? You know that he’s going to claim to be her husband or something,” Xander explained, his tone harsh. He didn’t like Spike. He hated Spike. But he had come to respect him, especially when it came to Alandra. 

“I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it,” Spike grumbled, all of his attention focused on the paperwork. Xander leaned back and felt him soften at the care that Spike took to answer every question to his best ability. Spike genuinely cared about Alandra, would do anything for her. It reminded him of the way Spike took care of Drusilla and knew that Spike loved Alandra. He probably wouldn’t admit out loud, especially to him, but Xander could see it.

“She’s going to be ok man,” Xander told him, his voice reassuring. Spike looked up at Xander and decided to accept what the young man was giving him. He had grown up a lot since he had first met him. He wasn’t scared to take command, he was more sure of himself and also more understanding. He doubted he would ever like Xander Harris, but he certainly could respect him. Spike simply nodded before turning back to the paperwork, wracking his brains for answers.

~0~0~

Angel, Cordelia, and Wesley had made it to Sunnydale by sun down, allowing Angel more mobility than before. He already seemed to be improving as they moved through their former home and made their way to Giles’s home. Angel’s demon face had not fallen on the whole drive there, despite his exhaustion. 

They drove into Giles’s driveway, quickly helping Angel out of the car and taking him down to the home. Willow and Giles were the only ones there, making Angel roar in anger. Cordelia could feel her heart race in anger and fear. She didn’t know what Angel would do to the man when they saw him, but she knew it wouldn’t be pretty. They simply stepped through the front door, not caring to wait for Giles or Willow to come open it. Giles looked shocked to see Angel in such a state of disarray, the amber eyes glaring up at him. 

“Alandra is at the hospital,” Giles began, but before he could say anything else Angel pushed out of Cordelia and Wesley’s arms and punched him right on the jaw. Giles flew back, Willow crying out in shock and fear as she ran to the older man’s side.

“You knew what would happen if I separated from her,” Angel roared, “You knew that it would be dangerous for her!”

“I didn’t know for sure,” Giles said, sitting up enough to let Willow help him the rest of the way.

“You had a pretty good idea,” Angel said, his vampire face finally falling away to reveal the man beneath, “You can’t just take it upon yourself to make decisions for other people. To change their lives.”

“I didn’t,” Giles countered, “You’re the one that decided to leave Angel. You made that decision, not me. The only one that you can blame is yourself.” Angel hissed at his words, but he knew that it was true. He made the decision to leave for LA. He could have stayed despite everything Giles had told him. It was all his fault, and he could never repair that damage leaving Alandra had done.

“Let’s head over to the hospital Angel,” Cordelia said, helping the vampire up and walking him to the car.

“What have I done Cordy,” Angel whispered to his best friend, “She’ll never forgive me.”

“Let’s get you two fixed up first and worry about forgiveness later,” Cordelia said to him, trying to stay strong for him. She had only seen Angel this broken once before. The guilt was already starting to eat away at him, but they needed to get him to Alandra first.

~0~0~

The three quickly reached the hospital and easily found Buffy, Xander, and Spike sitting outside of the room they were holding Alandra in. Spike walked over to them, grabbing Angel from Cordelia and Wesley and easily carrying his weight from them. 

“You weigh a ton old man,” Spike groused as he walked them to Alandra’s room. Wesley was about to say something but Cordelia stopped him. When he looked at her she simply shook her head and allowed the two men to walk into the room. 

Angel felt all of his breath leave him at the sight of her. Her face was covered in bruises, her arm and leg wrapped in heavy casts, the steady beeping of the machine telling them her heart was still beating. Tubes and wires connected her body to the machine, her breathing even as she rested.

“I have someone special for you sunshine,” Spike said as he walked them over to her bedside. Alandra’s eyes gently fluttered open, a bright smile lifting her lips at the sight of Angel.

“Angel,” she whispered, her face falling at the sight of his own injuries, “What happened?”

“Don’t worry about me mo chroí. Just know that I’m here now, and I’m never leaving your side again,” Angel said, settling down in the seat next to her. Alandra felt like she was floating from all of the drugs they had pumped into her. She was happy to see her two boys there with her.

“My boys,” she said, lifting her hands to touch them. Spike grabbed onto one, clasping it tightly. Angel placed the other on his cheek, kissing its palm. Warmth began to fill Alandra’s heart, the familiar glowing beginning in her heart. Angel’s own glowing began as well. Spike released her hand, some instinct telling him what to do. Alandra lifted her left hand, Angel doing the same, touching them together. The light was blinding as it encased their entire bodies. Spike lifted his hand to shield his eyes, the fear that he was going to burn gripping him. He was surprised when all he felt was warmth and slowly lowered his hand. It filled him and encased him. He felt safe and at home there with his grandsire and love. The glow touched him, lighting his skin as well, though not as brightly as Angel and Alandra.

Alandra could feel herself healing from the inside out. Bruises faded, cuts closed, bones mended. She felt strong and powerful. She could feel fangs elongate, her eyes flickering between amber and grey, ridges forming along her brow. Her stomach roiled in hunger for something more than food. A hunger for blood.

Angel could feel the healing powers of their light. The injuries had sustained while they were apart healed instantly. He could feel their souls intertwine once again, stronger than ever. He felt the ridges form on his brow, amber eyes glowing, fangs wanting to bite into something alive. To feel blood spill down his throat. 

Slowly the light began to fade, moving in from their bodies to land in their hearts. Spike looked at them in awe, amazed at what he had just seen. Alandra looked up, gasping with breath, her face clear of all the pain and damage she had sustained the past few weeks. She knew her broken limbs had healed, knew that all of her bruises and aches were gone. She felt fresh and strong. She looked towards Angel who had tears in his eyes.

“I thought that I was doing what was best for you by leaving,” Angel began, “I thought I was protecting you and giving you a chance to live life. I thought I was protecting you.” Sobs racked Angel’s body, his fear of Alandra never forgiving him again. Alandra reached out and lifted his head to look her in the eye. 

“I know why you did it,” Alandra replied, her voice thick with emotion, “I’ve already forgiven you. Just promise you won’t leave me ever again.” Angel nodded, moving forward to kiss Alandra. Finally, he could kiss her and hold her. Finally, he could be with her, no fear, no worry. There was no reason to be apart. Alandra was stronger with him there, he was stronger with her. They were better together.

They heard Spike’s heavy footsteps as he made his way to the door and both glanced up. Something had changed in the way Angel saw Spike. He didn’t know what it was, maybe it was acceptance, maybe it was respect. Alandra sat up. Spike had become so important to her, so special to her.

“Spike,” she called out, making the blonde stop. Spike looked back at them, his body still facing towards the door.

“I’m just give you two a moment to yourselves,” Spike told her, a sad yet understanding smile on his face. For her, only for her.

“No. Stay, please,” Alandra replied, her hand lifted up towards him. Spike glanced over to Angel, trying to gage the older vampire’s reaction. No matter how much Spike said he hated him, no matter what Angel did or said, he still looked to his grandsire for approval. All Angel had to do was nod and Spike moved over to her. He went to the other side of her bed, laying down beside her. Alandra curled into him, moving towards his warmth that usually wasn’t there. She didn’t care to think about it at that moment, all she knew was that both Spike and Angel were there, and that she finally felt safe.

“I know you two don’t get alone,” she mumbled, sleep beginning to fog her mind, “But be okay with each other for right now? We’ll deal with everything else tomorrow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I am so sorry it's taken me so long to update! I started school again so everything has been pretty hectic! I hope you guys enjoy chapter though!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day?! SAY WHAT?! This is in offering of forgiveness for my late and inconsistent updates. Hope you all enjoy the chapter!

The hospital released Alandra two days later, not even bothering to question her sudden recovery. They had become attuned to not questioning what goes on in Sunnydale now. Both Angel and Spike were there to help her home, despite her arguments against it. At first all she did was chuckle at the way her boys would fight, but by the time they had gotten to her home it had become exhausting.

She stepped out of Angel’s black Plymouth, slamming the door behind her, stomping her way to the front door. Angel could sense her frustration and exhaustion but Spike had pushed his buttons far enough to make him not acknowledge it. Angel carried on his argument with the blonde vampire, their voices making Alandra cringe, forcing her to spin around to glare at them.

“Will you two shut up already? You haven’t stopped arguing since before we left the hospital,” Alandra hissed before turning back around to make her way back to the house. Angel stared at her back before turning to Spike, an angry glare in his eyes.

“Do you ever shut up,” Angel asked angrily, trying to keep as quiet as possible so as not to alert Alandra to their arguing once again.

“Do you ever stop acting like such a fucking poofter,” Spike countered as he got out of the car himself. He quickly followed Alandra into the house, leaving Angel with his thoughts. Angel was happy, despite Spike’s ever annoying presence. He had Alandra back, she had forgiven him. But Spike had fallen in love with her. He probably wouldn’t admit out loud, maybe not even to himself, but Angel could see it. He also knew that Alandra held strong feelings for the blonde, not as strong as she held for him, not yet. He knew that he should feel angry or jealous, but he didn’t. He trusted Alandra implicitly, but it went beyond that. His gut was telling him to not worry, to not think of Spike as stealing Alandra. Something big was going to happen soon, he just didn’t know what yet. He looked up as Alandra and Spike ran out of the house back to the car. Alandra’s eyes were wide and fearful, but also held that light of hope that she carried around with her.

“Faith has escaped the hospital,” was all Alandra needed to say to get Angel back into the driver’s seat, speeding off to Giles’s house.

~0~0~

Faith walked around Sunnydale confused. Everything felt new but it was also so familiar. Sunnydale was her home for so long, but the people that she cared about the most had betrayed her. She didn’t know what to do, what to think, except to want to see all of the Scoobies pay for what they had done to her. And the first one that she would be looking to cash in with was Buffy. And after her, Alandra.

A dark smile lifted Faith’s lips as she made her way towards UC Sunnydale, ignoring the small voice in her head that she might be doing the wrong thing.

~0~0~

Alandra, Angel, and Spike walked into Giles’s home, every one of them having different things on their minds. Alandra’s mind was filled with thoughts of Faith and trying to save her. Angel’s mind was filled with memories of Giles’s betrayal and whether or not to tell Alandra about it. And Spike was filled with thoughts of Alandra. Her acceptance of him into her heart and his want, his need, to absorb her into him. 

He could see the darkness within her, and it called to him. He could practically see it writhing within her, filling every part of her. Except her heart. Her heart was pure light and warmth and it also called to him. He wanted every part of her, the darkness and the light. The cold and the warmth. He’s seen her in a fight or trying to protect something that she loves. She’s cold and calculating and will stop at nearly nothing to get it. But she can also be so kind and loving. Her warmth is what keeps her from falling completely into the darkness, from falling completely into the abyss that everything in her past has created. He craved everything about her.

“We need to find Faith as soon as possible,” Alandra’s voice rang into the room, drawing Spike from his thoughts. She was pacing back and forth in the room, biting her nails in worry. Alandra rarely if ever bit her nails, but when she did it she went at them with full force.

“And do what exactly,” Xander’s said in reply, sarcasm practically dripping in his voice. Alandra turned to look at him, disbelief clear on her face.

“Help her of course. What the hell else are we gonna do,” she asked, looking around at the others. The Scoobies looked away, not wanting to meet her eyes as she slowly began to realize what they wanted to do with Faith.

“You all wanted to get rid of her,” Alandra whispered, her body frozen in shock. Giles opened his mouth to reply when his front door opened, allowing for Cordelia and Wesley to enter the apartment. Willow was the only one amongst the Scoobies to say Hello and sound like she genuinely meant it. Alandra walked over to Cordelia and gave her a warm hug, missing her and everything she brought to the group, which was mostly sarcasm. Alandra looked at Wesley and could see the change in him. He was no longer the uptight rule-abiding Watcher. He seemed much more genial and willing to go with whatever flow Angel and Cordelia set up for themselves.

“Hey Wesley,” Alandra said to him as she also wrapped him in a quick hug, “It’s nice to see you again. You look well.”

“Uh—uh,” Wesley spluttered a moment, shocked at Alandra’s warm welcome before getting control of himself, “It’s lovely to see you as well Alandra. And yes, I am doing very well thank you.”

“Not that it’s not great to see ya Cordy, but who invited you two,” Xander said crassly, making the smile that was on Alandra’s face fall into a look annoyance. 

“I invited them here,” Angel replied, his tone dark and brook no argument, “They’re my team. Either you work with them or you work without me.”

“Fine by me,” Xander retorted, clearly trying to goad Angel into a fight, but before Angel could reply Alandra stepped between them, preventing Angel from speaking.

“Enough,” Alandra bellowed, her hands clenched into fists, her eyes flickering between storm grey and bright amber as she looked at the other Scoobies, “I will not give up on Faith again. We have always helped our friends when they’ve needed it, why should it change now?”

“She’s not our friend anymore Alandra, she’s lied about everything, she joined up with the Mayor. She left us,” Buffy countered, her voice pleading for Alandra to understand. There was no more hope for a person like Faith, who was selfish and had a blatant disregard for others and didn’t hesitate to lie and to hurt others if it helped herself.

“I will not give up on her again. I will not abandon her. I’ll help her, with or with out you,” Alandra replied, standing and waiting for Buffy’s answer. When a heavy silence fell over all of them, Alandra knew. The Scoobies wouldn’t help her, whether it was pride, fear, or anger, Alandra didn’t know. All she knew was that she wasn’t going to get their help with this one, and she could feel her heart begin to crumble at the thought of losing her friends as the price to save the other one.

“Fine, it looks like it’s going to be with out you,” Alandra said before spinning around and walking out of the apartment. She barely noticed Angel, Spike, Cordelia, and Wesley follow behind her. They walked over to Angel’s car, Alandra pausing just next to it. She could feel her anger roiling just underneath her skin, making it itch with heat. She clenched her fists, closing her eyes to calm down before she punched something or someone.

“Alandra,” Angel’s voice carried over to her, the gentleness forcing her to open her eyes to look at him. Tears were welling in them, sadness mixing with the anger. Her eyes burned amber, fangs dipping past her top lip as she bit into her bottom one.

“I know what you’re doing,” he told her, his hand gripping onto her arm. His love washed over her, centering her, helping her think past the anger.

“This isn’t your fault,” Angel said, his voice filled with passion as he pulled Alandra towards him, wrapping his arms around her. She wrapped hers around his waist, resting her cheek over where his heart was, she felt comfort in finding no heart beat there. This was warm and familiar and she needed it.

“I could have done more. I could have helped her more,” Alandra said to him, her voice hoarse with emotion. She felt as if she had let Faith down. She could have made sure that the other slayer knew that she was important, and loved. 

“You couldn’t have changed anything and you know that. Faith chose this, no matter how much she was pushed towards it. Are you sure you want to do this? To try to bring her back,” Angel asked her, concern filling his voice and his bond. Alandra stepped back from him, allowing her arms to drop away from him. Determination filled her features.

“Yes, I’m sure,” she told him before looking at Spike, Wesley, and Cordelia, “I won’t ask you to help me with this. If you don’t want to then that’s fine.”

“Good, because she gives me the heebie-jeebies,” Cordelia said loudly, getting a small elbow from Wesley, making her cough in pain, “Ow, Wesley, why did you elbow me?”

“What Cordelia meant to say was Faith is very irrational and angry right now. She is unstable which makes for a very dangerous slayer. She won’t just suddenly want help because you’re offering it. It may be better to do as the others suggested,” Wesley said, his voice trying to be placating so as not to anger Alandra. She appreciated the man’s honesty, but the words angered her none the less.

“I’m going to tell you what I told them Wesley,” Alandra began, taking a deep breath to calm some of her anger, “I didn’t give up on Angel when he became Angelus, I didn’t give up on Spike even though he doesn’t have a soul, I will not give up on Faith. She deserves at least that much.”

“Oh, but I really don’t,” Faith’s voice carried over to them from where she stood. The group turned to see Faith standing not even fifty feet away from them. Her skin was pale, with dark bags underneath her eyes. She was dressed in her usual style, but Alandra knew that it had been stolen, or bought with stolen money. 

“Faith, you look well,” Alandra said, her body tensing, ready for a fight. Spike and Angel stood on either side of her, ready to protect her at a moment’s notice.

“Isn’t this cute, you have your own little band of misfits. Finally separated from the Scoobies I see, good on you,” Faith replied as she stepped closer to them, she sent Angel a charming smile, “Hello lover, looking good as always. And lookie here, we have a new player to the game. Spike, interesting seeing you here, no longer with the queen of darkness?”

“Faith, listen to me, we can help you through this,” Alandra started saying, but Faith cut her off, a coldness to her voice that Alandra had yet to hear towards her.

“Is this where you tell me that deep down I’m a good person and that it’s not too late for me. Well, I hate to burst your bubble Al, but I’m as bad as bad comes, might as well give up on me like every one else has. Or better yet, why don’t you come with me. We can get out of this hell hole and have some fun, what do you say,” Faith finished, a slightly crazed gleam in her eyes. Alandra shook her head, taking a small step forward to the rogue slayer.

“I know what it’s like, to question who you are, your very soul and being,” Alandra told her, her voice soft and nearly pleading for Faith to listen, “To never feel loved until you meet that one person who seems to open up your entire world. And you want to do anything to please them, to prove your love to them. I know what darkness looks like. I know what it feels like to have it eat its way through you. We all have. We can help you through this,” Alandra’s voice cracked on her last few words, her earlier unshed tears now slowly falling down her face, “Please, let us help you. I want my best friend back.”

Faith hesitated, a vulnerability coming over her face that Alandra hadn’t seen in a while. She could see the glimmer of hope in the other woman’s eyes. She wanted to come back, Alandra could see it, feel it. Faith had good in her, but she was too scared. Of what, Alandra wasn’t sure, but it was the fear now that was holding Faith back. Suddenly the vulnerability was swept away by hardness. 

“The Faith you knew is dead. She died when Buffy stabbed her to save your little boy friend. Looks like you’ve added a new boy toy to your shelf. Hey lover, how does it feel to know that you’ve been replaced. I bet they fucked every single night while you were all alone in LA,” Faith said as she stepped closer to Angel, their chests nearly touching. Neither Alandra, Spike, nor Angel moved, and when Wesley and Cordelia made for the slayer Alandra simply shook her head, halting them immediately. Alandra knew what Faith was doing, and she refused to rise to the bait.

“Maybe we should punish her with a little tumble ourselves,” Faith whispered huskily, looking up at Angel from underneath her dark lashes, “But to be honest, I don’t think Alandra would mind joining in the fun, would you Al.”

“Are you done being an annoying little bitch,” Spike finally said, pulling a cigarette out and placing it between his lips before lighting it. He took a deep drag than allowed the smoke to slowly exit his nose, the grey wisps curling into the night air. Faith backed away from Angel, releasing the tension that had begun to build between the group.

“Aww, does poor Spike feel left out. You never could measure up to Angelus could you. Always second best, always second chosen. First your sire and now Alandra. All of the women you love seem to love him more,” Faith said, making everyone immediately tense up at her words. Alandra looked at Spike with wide eyes. Something flooded her body at Faith’s words. It was a mixture of fear, knowing, acceptance, and love. She turned her head to Angel, knowing what feelings came from him and looked into his eyes. His jaw muscle flexed as he looked at her, the fear and acceptance in his eyes. She looked back to see Spike’s crystal blue piercing hers. His also held fear as he looked at her. She took a deep breath as she tried to sort all of the feelings that were roiling inside of her. She didn’t know what to think, what to feel, all she could do was look into his eyes.

“Oops, did I spill the beans,” Faith said in pretend innocence before dropping the façade for amusement as she looked around at all of the shocked faces, “Oh come on, you three can’t be that surprised. I would even bet that Spike has been in love with her since Angel’s small trip to hell. You couldn’t sense the chemistry between you? Couldn’t sense the yearning that he had for you Al? Or maybe you did but it was just easier to pretend that it wasn’t there. Either way it doesn’t matter,” Faith said as she turned back to Spike, “You’ll never measure up. You’ll never have her the way you want her, and I bet that just burns you up inside.” 

Spike felt the anger at her words finally reach its peak, forcing his hand into a fist and punching her in the jaw. Spike immediately screamed in pain, falling to his knees as he clutched his head. It took longer for the pain to subside. Faith immediately righted herself from nearly falling over. Blood trickled down her lip, but Faith ignored it as she smirked down at Spike.

“I heard about your little problem. Interesting,” Faith said before pulling out a knife and making her way towards Spike’s prone form. Alandra quickly stepped between them, blocking the attack with her arm. 

“Don’t do this Faith,” Alandra said through gritted teeth. No matter how strong Alandra got she would never be a match for slayer strength. She couldn’t tell how hard Faith was trying, but it was enough to give her a struggle. Faith gave a light chuckle before ducking and knocking Alandra’s feet from under her, making her crash to the ground. Faith then spun around, throwing the knife deep into Spike’s chest, forcing him to cry out in pain. 

“See you next time Al. Lover,” Faith said before running out into the dark. Alandra jumped to her feet and made her way over to Spike who was clutching the knife in his chest. 

“Tell me again why we’re not just getting rid of her,” Cordelia said as she and Wesley and Angel also swarmed around Spike as he continued to kneel on the ground. Alandra knelt down beside him as she glared at Cordelia before wrapping her hands around the hilt of the knife.

“Make it quick sunshine,” Spike said through gritted teeth, looking her in the eye. Alandra nodded before pulling the knife from his body. Spike roared in pain as the knife was brought free from his body, blood dripping down the metal. Angel wrapped an arm around Spike’s waist, lifting him up from the ground.

“We’ll go back to Alandra’s house. Wesley, Cordelia, can you two go to Crawford Mansion and see if you can find any books that might be able to help us with Faith,” Angel ordered them before helping Spike into the back seat of his car. Alandra was beside him, her hands on his chest, trying to staunch the blood that gushed from the wound. 

“You expect us to walk all of the way there,” Cordelia said incredulously, flipping her long hair behind her.

“No Cordy, you’re going back to Giles’s place and tell them what happened and have Xander drive you,” Angel replied, exasperation clear in his voice. 

“They don’t need to know what happened,” Alandra cut in, looking in between Angel and his team. Angel sighed as he looked back at his love, holding back the urge to roll his eyes.

“Mo chroí, I understand why you don’t want to tell them, but they need to know,” Angel replied, his arm resting against the back rest of the passenger seat to help him get a better look at her. A single brow raised itself as she glared back at him.

“They don’t need to know anything,” Alandra countered, “What would have been the point of my dramatic exit and telling them that I would do this without them and then they show up telling them everything!” 

Just as Angel opened his mouth to reply Spike spoke, drawing everyone’s attention to him, “As great as this argument is to listen to, maybe we can remember that I’m bleeding here,” finished off in a yell before hissing in a pain at the renewed pressure that Alandra applied.

“Please, stop being a big baby, I’ve seen you with worse injuries,” Alandra told him then turned back to Angel, “The Scoobies don’t need to know shit Angel.”

“Stop being so stubborn, Wesley and Cordelia are going to go and tell them what happened whether you like it or not,” Angel told her, making Alandra growl in anger. The couple simply glared at one another for a moment, the tension filling the air.

“So, are we going or not,” Cordelia finally asked, releasing the angry air around them. Wesley picked the unfortunate moment to answer Cordelia’s question.

“Since Angel is our employer Cordelia I believe we should follow his orders to go inform Giles and the others,” Wesley said, his voice sounding like its former pompousness. Alandra looked at the man, her eyes flickering between stormy grey and bright amber.

“You know I still have the knife don’t you Wesley,” she asked him in a dark tone. Fear entered Wesley’s features, and he stepped back and moved slightly behind Cordelia, placing his hand on her arm. Cordelia tried to shake the man off but he held on.

“She’s not going to hurt you with the knife Wesley,” Angel told the other man, but he didn’t sound so sure himself and looked at her, “You’re not going to hurt him with the knife Alandra.”

“Hello, bleeding, if I were alive I would be half dead by now,” Spike said in exasperation. Alandra released the British man from her glare and remained silent for the rest of the time, her hands never releasing the pressure she held on Spike’s wound. Satisfied with her silence as a form of acquiescence Angel turned around to face the wheel, starting his Plymouth up. 

“We’ll bring whatever we find back to Alandra’s house,” Wesley told Angel, who simply nodded in reply before driving off. The cool air ran through her hair as Angel drove, caressing the strands like a gentle lover. The breeze calmed some her anger, the silence forcing Alandra to contemplate everything that was going on around her. Spike loved her. She could feel it deep down within her when faith said those words out loud, she knew it to be true. The looks, the caresses, the way he took care of her. Spike loved her the best way he knew how, all without a soul. Just the thought of it warmed her from the inside, filling her with happiness. She glanced at Spike before looking at Angel and feeling her heart swell at the sight of him. She had him back, and despite everything that had been going on she was happy.

Angel pulled into the space in front of her garage and got out to walk around to where Spike was laying on Alandra, her arms wrapped around him as he leaned his back into her chest, her hands still applying pressure to the wound. Spike had gotten pale and it had begun to worry her.

“Vampires don’t normally bleed this much, even when stabbed in the chest with a knife,” Alandra said, casting a worried glance over Spike’s head to Angel. Angel looked back, his chocolate brown eyes saying his agreement for him. He opened the car door and grabbed one of Spike’s arms and placing it around his shoulder. He felt Spike begin to shake with the effort of holding himself up, so Angel bent down and lifted Spike completely into his arms.

“Oi, I can walk, you poofter,” Spike argued weakly, making Angel chuckle lightly.

“Shut up, you know you enjoy being treated like the pretty little Princess you are,” Angel countered, making Spike release a large laugh and then groaning in pain after.

“I knew you always thought I was pretty,” Spike replied, his fists clenched in pain, trying not hiss with every step Angel took. Once Alandra opened the door Angel took Spike immediately up the stairs and she went to the kitchen to grab the first aid kit that had grown since she had begun training and fighting vampires. She took a deep breath to calm her nerves and followed her boys up the stairs.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry that it's been so long since I've updated! School nearly killed me this past semester! Please forgive me by reading these chapters! Love you all and sorry again!

Angel laid Spike out on Alandra’s bed carefully, trying not to jostle his injury too much. Angel couldn’t identify what he was feeling within himself. On the one hand he worried about Spike in a way he hadn’t in what was probably a very long time. The younger vampire had changed a lot since Alandra had come into their lives, just as he had, and he knew that it was all for the better. But Spike still didn’t have a soul, he still took a great pleasure in violence that Angelus had instilled in him. Spike carried a darkness within him that Angelus thrust upon him. Angel could recognize that Spike was a different class of vampire altogether. Despite everything, the hate, the blood lust, the need to see others in pain; Spike still had the ability to love in a way that was pure. And Angel could also recognize that Alandra had a lot to do with that. She had a way of accepting people for who they were, recognizing and loving the best and worst of themselves. Alandra’s light had touched him and Spike both in a way that has allowed them both to let the light back into their dead hearts, and that was a gift they will be repaying to her for the rest of their eternal lives.

Alandra could feel Angel’s emotional turmoil in helping Spike and tried to send calming feelings through the bond as she began her work on Spike’s chest. She unbuttoned his black dress shirt that was drenched in blood, coating her hands. She had seen blood, had seen a lot of it, but seeing the way Spike’s blood covered her, someone who she had to admit she saw as nearly invincible despite whatever injuries he suffered, unnerved her beyond belief. No matter what they were not invincible, any moment he or Angel could be taken away from her and it felt like a cold bucket of water being dumped on her. It was clarifying and terrifying but she knew that she had to focus on the task at hand.

The wound was soon revealed and Angel went to Alandra’s bathroom to grab some towels and a bowl of water to clean Spike up. Alandra could see angry red veins snake out from the wound, reminding her of when Angel had been hit with Faith’s arrow over a year ago. Panic had begun to settle into her stomach at the sight, the feeling reaching strongly across the bond, rushing Angel back into the room with the supplies.

“What is it? What’s wrong Alandra,” Angel asked he walked back in, looking between her and the sweating vampire on the bed.

“I recognize this,” Alandra said in a hoarse whisper, “From when Faith shot you with the poisoned arrow. Your wound looked like that.”

“What does that mean,” Spike asked, his voice weaker than usual, “What are you trying to say sunshine?”

“The only cure was to drain a slayer,” Angel answered in her stead, Alandra’s fear halting the words in her throat as Angel continued, “I nearly killed Buffy and she nearly killed Faith trying to bring her to me. If you don’t drain a slayer, you’ll die.” Spike fell silent as he looked between the woman he realized he had grown to love and the man that had made him the monster he was. His eyes stayed glued to Angel’s for a while, emotions roiling within him as he thought about his past. He couldn’t even bring himself to hate the older vampire any more. There was still anger though. And anger is something that Spike excelled at.

“Leave,” Spike said, his voice dark, his clear eyes smoldering with his anger as he spoke to Angel. Alandra stared wide eyed between the two, wondering with an anxiety ridden body what will happen next. Her fists were clenched tight, her heart pounding so hard against her chest that she was sure that they both could hear it. The sound and smell of her blood thrumming within her veins distracted the men, but they both refused to look away from each other. Angel felt at a loss. He genuinely wanted to help Spike, wanted to comfort him, but he couldn’t do that if he wasn’t there. After a few more tense moments of silence Angel made his decision.

“I’m going to get in contact with Wes and Cordelia,” Angel said, his voice hiding the pain he felt, “See what they’ve come up with. I might even go over and help them. You stay here and watch over him, call me if something happens.” Angel left without another word or glance through Alandra’s bedroom door, shutting it quietly behind him. Alandra stared after him, her emotions mixing with his, trying to soothe him while still feeling all of the tension and anxiety from earlier. She turned back around to look at Spike, moving over to his side and grabbing some bandage tape to finish bandaging his wound.

“He’s trying to help you, you know that right,” Alandra asked, her voice soft, sighing at the glare Spike sent her.

“He’s trying to help me out of his annoying sense of guilt and honor, not because he cares,” Spike replied, scoffing before hissing in pain from the action. 

“He feels guilty because he does care. He cares about you Spike, even though he tries to hide it,” Alandra said, her tone pleading as she finished bandaging him and grabbing his hand. Spike, surprised by the warmth of her hand in his. He looked up and saw the tears beginning to fill her eyes. It seemed like every other moment she was crying and he always seemed to be the root of the reason for her tears. He brought his other hand up to stroke her cheek before cupping it. His heart swelled as she nuzzled into his palm, a tear slipping down and hitting his skin.

“We’re going to make it through this sunshine, I promise,” Spike told her, his body beginning to shake, the poison spreading through his body.

“I don’t know what I would do if I lost you,” Alandra admitted, looking into his blue eyes. They were still so clear and full of love. Alandra still wasn’t ready to acknowledge what she saw whenever she looked into his eyes. But if there was even the slightest chance he would leave her forever, she would, because she owed him at least that much.

“This is all my fault,” Alandra whispered, her hand over his, pressing his cool skin more into her cheek. Guilt ravaged her heart and mind. If Spike wasn’t her friend, if she had been there more for Faith, if she had never met the Scoobies at all, none of this would have come to pass. Knowing exactly where her thoughts were leading and tried to drag her from her thoughts.

“None of this is your fault,” Spike said, his voice filled with a pleading force. He needed her to understand that she was the least of all of them to blame, “None of this is your fault Alandra.”

“How can it not be my fault? You’re here because of me! From the moment you met me all you’ve done is take care of me and look where it’s gotten you,” Alandra exclaimed, pulling away and standing up, looking away from him. Spike gritted his teeth against the pain as he sat up more and reached out to her. His hand clasped onto her fingers and he felt as if a lightning went through him. It strengthened him. He slowly stood up, the pain seeping through but it didn’t distract him as he began to wrap his arms around her. Alandra was to surprised to say anything as she felt her body crash into his, allowing herself to sink into him. He held onto her tightly, kissing the top of her head before cupping her face with his hands. In that moment, looking into her eyes, he knew that he was where he needed to be. There with her, just as Drusilla had always prophesized, what she had originally left him for.

“I love you Alandra,” Spike whispered out, his harsh cockney leaving for what he had before he was turned, he was showing her his true self, “I know it’s not right to tell you, to feel this way because of Angel and who you are and who I am, but I’m selfish, and I love you.” Bittersweet tears ran down her face at his words, knowing that she felt the same, and knowing that Angel could feel it too. Spike wiped away her tears, but more came flowing down at his gentleness. She reached up and cupped his face as well before pulling him down and gently placing her lips on his.

Spike felt overwhelmed with feeling as her lips pressed against his. It was just them. No Angel, no Faith, no Scoobies, no pain, no death, no fear. They were finally able to be with each other in that moment and he felt happiness for the first time in long over a century. He deepened the kiss, his tongue seeking entrance and Alandra immediately complying. Their passion for one another exploded as they clutched onto one another. Spike moaned as he felt Alandra’s fingers explore his body, her warm hands running over his cool skin. His hands fell lower and lower on her waist until they finally found their resting place on her bottom, squeezing and pulling her hips closer to his. Alandra gasped, but didn’t break contact with any part of him. Sensing her need to breath Spike finally broke away, holding her close as he pressed his lips to her pulse just below her ear. The urge to bite began to flood him, along with the hardness that was straining against his pants, but he just took the moment to breathe in her scent and hold her. Guilt began to fill her at the hurt she felt from Angel, but she squashed it down because she knew that she needed this moment with Spike. She just needed to be with him.

“I love you,” she whispered to him, her words making him look at her with shock. He opened his mouth to speak when they heard the front door open and close and they both knew it was Angel. The guilt immediately washed over and Spike knew that the world had crashed upon them once again.

“Go, you need to go talk to him,” Spike told her, slowly releasing her from his hold and sitting back down on the bed, the pain from his wound hitting him all at once, the adrenaline finally leaving his system. Alandra’s mouth was glued shot from fear of Angel below them, and all she could do was nod to him. She walked out of the room, the fear clear in her eyes when she looked back at him.

“He loves you Alandra,” Spike told her, trying to reassure her but he knew that his words did very little. 

“Try to get some rest,” she replied, closing the door behind her. Spike kicked off his shoes and settled back into bed, sighing and wishing not for the first time that he was Angel instead.

~0~0~

Alandra’s steps were heavy as she walked down the stairs, Angel’s form coming into view in the kitchen the closer she got. She could see how tense he was and once he turned around to face her the hurt in his eyes.

“Did they find anything at the mansion,” Alandra asked, too afraid to say anything about the mess of feelings that was flowing through both their bodies. Angel shook his head in the negative.

“No, but the Scoobies are now on the search as well. Wesley and Willow believe that it’s not the same poison from last time, so there might be a cure that we can use,” Angel explained, the silence deafening when all Alandra could do was nod. She began to wonder what had become of them. Before it was so easy for them to talk, and now it felt as if they were miles away.

“Do you still love me Alandra,” Angel finally asked, but his words shocked her. That was something that she had never wanted to hear, his doubt of her love, especially with the bond they shared.

“Of course I do,” she told him and stepped closer to him, grabbing onto his reluctant hand, their bond glowing and spreading through out their bodies, “You know I do.”

“But you love him too,” he asked, but they both knew the answer.

“I didn’t realize it till now, but yes I do,” she answered, hurt filling her when Angel pulled away from her. She could feel his anger rising at her words.

“Why him? Why did it have to be him,” he shouted at her. She jumped, but not because of the loudness or the suddenness, but because of the pain in his voice. The pain she caused.

“I don’t know why Angel,” she replied, her voice cracking with emotion, “What do you want me to say? That I’ll stop loving him right now? That I hate him? Do you want me to tell you lies?”  
“No, but I do want you to explain to me how you could do this to me,” Angel spat, his words raising her own anger.

“Don’t you dare,” she hissed, “Don’t you dare come here and act like I’m the only one that has fucked up in this relationship. You left me once, remember?”

“So is this pay back for what I’ve done,” Angel hissed back, stepping towards her, towering over her, but she refused to allow him to intimidate her and lifted her chin in defiance.

“No, this isn’t pay back. But you left me. My entire world had come crumbling down and he helped me pick up the pieces. He was there for me when I needed him. He makes me laugh, and he makes me angry, and he sometimes makes me cry. It’s easy with him,” she told him, her heart thumping at her chest as she admitted to the love of her life that she had fallen in love with another man, a man he pretended to hate, his grandchilde. It was silent as he absorbed her words. He was to blame for all of this just as she was.

“I love you,” Alandra finally told him, her voice a hoarse whisper as tears began to breach the surface, “You’re my best friend and I will always love you. Till my last breath. But I love Spike too.” She stared into his eyes and could see and feel the battle within him. His guilt, his pain, his love for her, and she felt the same.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Angel admitted, his voice breaking, tears welling in his own eyes, “I can’t live this life without you.” Alandra stepped forward tentatively, watching his body for any cues that he didn’t want to be touched by her. She brought her hand to his and the bond spread from their hearts, through their hands down to their feet. Angel clutched onto it tightly, reaching for her other hand, their bright light within them becoming brighter and brighter the closer they moved to each other till they were chest to chest.

“I was made for loving you,” Alandra told him, “You’re not losing me. You are gaining someone though. And no matter what you think of him, he is a good man, even without his soul. I think you need to reevaluate what your feelings are on him, or for him.” 

Angel opened his mouth but Alandra immediately cut him off, “I know what’s in your heart Angel, you can’t lie to me. You can lie to Wesley and Cordelia, the Scoobies, but you can’t lie to me.” Angel closed his mouth and wrapped his arms around her. Alandra felt her body begin to sink into him, felt comfort in his embrace. She felt safe and warm as she always had. But she could still feel the hurt and pain that she had caused him.

“Are we going to be ok,” she asked, her voice meek and quiet. She didn’t want to disturb his thoughts and didn’t want to break the comfortable silence that had fallen over them.

“I’m not going to lie to you,” Angel said, pulling away enough to look into her eyes, “I’m a mess right now. I don’t know how to feel. But I do know that I love you, and I know that I don’t want to lose you. I don’t know what that means yet, but the whole point of being together is to figure things out together.” Relieved tears welled in Alandra’s eyes. She knew that it would never be the same between them again, but as long as she didn’t lose Angel again, as long she had him by her side, then she knew could make it through anything.

“I love you Angel,” she whispered, pulling him closer to her, feeling the light of their bond burn through her. Angel clutched onto her, the light becoming blinding as it surrounded them. He could feel the warmth and remembered Graduation Day. He remembered seeing her being surrounded by vampires, seeing her fall below, with nothing but her hand breaking through. He remembered the fear at potentially losing her but in the end knowing what he had to do. He knew that they had to touch, they always had to be connected. When he finally touched her hand he could feel the power soar between them, the light burning away the vampires separating them, and all that was left was them. But that won’t be true any more. 

But in this moment Angel knew that she was right. He did need to reevaluate what his true feeling for Spike were. If not for himself, then for Alandra. Because he owed her that much, and so much more.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your patience! This is the next chapter! I hope you all enjoy it. I'm working on Chapter 13 right now and I hope to have it up within the next couple of weeks. Love you all!

Spike had progressively gotten worse through out the night. His body shook with tremors as sweat poured down his face. Alandra could see the angry red veins spread from his wound in his chest, the wound still gaping as it had when it was first inflicted. Angel could feel her fear, how it encased her to the point of choking her, and he knew that Spike could also sense her fear for his health and safety. He needed to get her out of the room, to give Spike some space, to breathe and maybe begin preparing for the worst. Angel stood in the door way, watching Alandra move around the room, tidying things up that had already been tidied. He could see Spike struggle to speak to her, to assuage her fears, but failing.

“Alandra,” Angel said gently, his voice startling her and making her jump where she stood. He could see the amusement in Spike’s eyes but kept his eyes on his love, “I think maybe you should go and get some fresh air, maybe head to Giles’s place to help with research.” He could see the hesitance enter face, and her determination to stay by Spike’s side. That was something he had always admired about her, but she needed a break from being in that room, feeling helpless. At least this way she can put her anxiousness to something useful, even if it doesn’t procure results. Alandra turned to Spike, her eyes pleading to tell her to stay.

“I agree with the poofter Sunshine,” Spike told her, a weak smile lifting his lips, “I’ll be fine until you get back, and I know you need to feel productive.” Alandra stepped over to his bedside, her hand grasping onto his. Angel’s heart clenched at the sight but he pushed the feeling down.

“Are you sure? I don’t have to go any where, the Scoobies and Cordy and Wesley are probably handling it fine,” Alandra said to the man in the bed, her hand clutching onto his so tightly that she could feel his bones cracking lightly in her grasp, but his hand was holding onto hers just as firmly.

“I’ll be fine luv. Go help with the research, poofter here will keep an eye on me, won’t you,” Spike told her, his words turning both sets of eyes to Angel who still stood awkwardly beside the door. Angel hated having been put on the spot, and he could tell that Spike knew this if the mischievous gleam in his eyes were any indication. Angel nodded, his arms crossing in front of him.

“I promise that the moment anything happens I’ll let you know. I’ll keep him safe,” Angel told Alandra, his gaze penetrating as he begged silently for her to agree. After a few moments of silence and intense staring between the two of them Alandra finally nodded, standing up to give Spike a small kiss on the forehead. It was such a small gesture, and yet it was so intimate that Angel felt as if he had been encroaching in on a moment. Jealousy flooded him at the sight, breaching over through the bond to Alandra. He remained still as she walked up to him, his fists clenching together. He felt her love and soothing influence through the bond, the emotions being intensified when she wrapped her hand around his fist, loosening it enough to intertwine her fingers with his. The bond’s light glowed faintly, strength and energy flowing through him. Alandra felt more calmed at the contact, giving him a light kiss on the cheek.

“Please try not to kill each other,” she said softly, but they heard her words loud and clear, the silence deafening as the two men stared each other down. Alandra knew that she wouldn’t be able to much here and left them, her foot steps echoing down the hall. The silence was tense as Angel stepped over to Spike’s bedside, looking down at his grandchilde. Angelus would be proud of Spike. The old Spike. The vampire that never hesitated to take glee out of torturing and drinking blood and taking whatever he could get. Angelus would be disgusted with the man that laid before him. This was someone that had become unselfish and caring, without a soul. Who loved without a soul. 

“I bet you’re happy, seeing me this way,” Spike said, his hoarse voice finally breaking the silence. Angel remained silent a moment longer, trying to get a read on Spike, but got nothing.

“Why do you say that,” Angel asked, settling into the seat. Spike released a humorless laugh, his dry lips cracking underneath the sarcastic smirk.

“Because you hate me. Because then you could have Alandra all to yourself. Because if I die, you would never have to see my face again,” Spike told him, grimacing as he tried to sit up to get a better look at Angel. 

“I love Alandra, and Alandra loves you. I don’t know what would happen to her if she lost you,” Angel admitted, the words leaving a bad taste in his mouth, but it was the truth. Angel looked into the crystal blue that had become foggy with pain. He had to admit to himself that he didn’t hate Spike. He had grown to dislike him, but he could never hate him.

“We know our relationship is too complicated to say that I hate you,” Angel finished, rolling his eyes at the scoffing snort that escaped the blonde.

“So we have a relationship now? That’s fucking news to me! I can see the headlines now! ‘Poofter vampire claims relationship after abandoning his grandchilde!’ Sounds like a great read,” Spike said, managing to sound sardonic despite his weakened state. Angel remained silent for a moment, Spike’s words striking a chord within him. In a way Spike was right, Angel had abandoned them when he first got his soul. Angelus had taken on a sadistic fascination with Spike, wanting to mold him in his image. The feelings that had emerged in their time together had diminished, but Angel knew that they hadn’t gone away. 

“You’re telling me that if I had returned to you with my soul you would have accepted me for who I was,” Angel asked, the sound of his voice barely disrupting the air surrounding them, “The fact that I didn’t want to harm anyone any more, that I felt all the guilt of what I had done. You would have still wanted me?”

“Guess we’ll never know will we,” Spike replied, staring deep into Angel’s eyes. Spike’s stare had always unnerved him. The bright blue shining with his feelings, whether that be anger, annoyance, sadness, or happiness. Spike’s eyes were literally the window to his soul, even though he didn’t have one. Even from when he was first turned he still held the light of his soul within him, and Angelus had wanted to squash it out, just as he had wanted to do with Alandra. He wondered if anyone else saw it, the light inside of him. He knew Alandra did, otherwise she wouldn’t have wasted her breath on him. He knew Drusilla saw it. But what about the Scoobies or Giles or Cordy and Wesley? Could they see the heart that Spike still desperately wanted to offer to people? 

“I didn’t want to leave. Darla knew the moment I had it and told me to leave, and then I returned,” Angel began, and saw the moment when Spike understood.

“During the Boxer Rebellion,” Spike continued for him, “I had killed my first slayer that night. I could tell there was something different with you that night.”

Angel nodded, swallowing harshly before continuing on, “I wanted to pretend that we could continue on as we were. The Scourge of Europe. But Darla and I both knew that could never happen, not when I had my soul.”

“What’s it like? To have it after you lost it,” Spike asked, his voice soft, sweat still pouring down his face. Angel sighed at the question. It was painful, it was wonderful now with Alandra, it was everything and nothing all at once. It was a wisp of wind, and yet it determined so much of who he was.

“It’s heavy,” he finally said, “All of the guilt and pain and sadness that you didn’t feel come rushing back all at once. And then you meet that one person that can ground you, turning that heaviness into something light, something to cherish instead of hate. But the guilt still weighs down on you. You still carry those screams with you.” 

It fell silent as Spike absorbed his words. Then suddenly his body was overcome with a coughing fit, surprising Angel into action. He quickly grabbed a glass of water on the side table, the smell of blood hitting his nose. Spike lowered the rag that he had grabbed from his mouth to find a large circle of blood in the center. He shakily grasped the glass, taking light sips, the cool liquid feeling good going down his throat, though he wished it was something else. He wished it was blood. He thirsted for it in a way that he hadn’t since he had first turned. It made it difficult to be around Alandra, hearing her heart beat, seeing it thump in the artery in her neck. He wanted to drain he, consume her. She smelled delicious whenever she was near him, it took all of his strength to not sink his teeth into her soft neck.

“You’re hungry,” Angel said aloud, seeing the ache and hunger in his eyes. They gave him bags of blood, but it seemed to do very little to help him.

“I’m not going to make it through this. I can feel it,” Spike told him, finishing off the water then allowed Angel to grab the glass from him, “Alandra doesn’t want to believe it, or think about it. But I can feel the dust forming in my throat, settling in my dead lungs. Pretty soon all I’m going to be is ash.”

“You’ll make it through this,” Angel replied. He wanted to give a comforting hand but he knew Spike would throw it off, so he pushed his urgency for Spike to understand into his voice, “We’ll find the cure and then we can go back to dealing with life. But you will make it through this, I promise.”

Spike stared at Angel for a long moment. He could hear the desperation in Angel’s voice. He could almost believe his grand sire’s words, and yet his heart wouldn’t let him.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” Spike finally said, his hoarse voice making the words echo in Angel’s ears. 

~0~0~

All of the Scoobies including Cordelia and Wesley sat around Giles’s home, searching through all of the books he had on the various poisons that could be affecting Spike. Alandra sat at the kitchen table, her hands in her hair, her leg shaking underneath the table. She felt nervousness clench around her heart as she read through more and more pages of the heavy old tome in front of her. Her heart jumped at the victorious yelp Willow gave. The group turned to look at the red head and saw the bright smile she held on her face. Alandra barely registered what was going on, just glancing up to look at Willow before returning her gaze back to the book in front of her.

“Alandra! I found it! I’ve found the poison. Well, at least I think I did,” Willow said triumphantly before lifting the heavy tome in her arms and nearly dragging it to where Alandra sat. Alandra sat back, looking down at the words as Willow sat the book down before her. 

“It’s similar to the one that Faith poisoned Angel with, you know, the Interfector Mortis,” Willow explained as she pointed down to the text, “But this one is called Amat Mortem, or Death of a Lover. The symptoms are the same, but look here! It says that the cure is fresh human blood! It’s not nearly as rare, or as deadly,” Willow explained so that everyone else could hear. Alandra’s heart began to sink lower than before as Willow’s words were confirmed. She read the sentence that contained the cure over and over again. Fresh human blood from the vein. Something that Spike can’t get.

“Thanks Willow, this is great,” Alandra said sadly, slowly standing up from her seat, “I’m going to head back home, tell Angel and Spike. Then we’ll work on trying to get Faith.” Sadness and anger clenched at Alandra’s heart as she made her way out of Giles’s apartment, not noticing the stares that followed after her. 

“What’s her deal? Shouldn’t she be jumping for joy,” Xander asked, his voice filled with confusion and exasperation, “We’ve found the cure, it’s easy. But now she’s walking around like death. I don’t get it.”

“God, do actual thoughts go through that brain of yours or is it just food,” Cordelia scoffed at the man, ignoring the glares the Scoobies sent her way. Wesley quickly cleared his throat to draw the attention away from his friend to himself.

“What Cordelia means is that Spike has the chip preventing him from taking blood from a human,” Wesley said, sighing internally at the blank stare Xander sent back to him.

“Faith purposefully picked a poison that would hurt Alandra the most,” Buffy cut in, now everyone’s attention was directed towards her, “It’s such as easy thing to do, but because of the chip Spike is going to die. Or disappear or fall away or whatever.”

“Exactly,” Wesley commended Buffy, appreciating the girl’s insight, “Alandra and Angel will simply have to sit there and watch as Spike slowly wastes away into nothing. At least before we knew the what the poison was, there was that glimmer of hope that he would survive, but now,” Wesley trailed off at the end, his heart aching for Alandra. He had come to respect the young woman greatly, and on a small level considered a friend. With everything she had been through, she was the last one to deserve this. He couldn’t even fathom what Angel was feeling or thinking either. Wesley knew that Angel cared for Spike more than he wanted to let on, and now he was going to lose his grandchilde before he could make amends. This was going to be very hard for the both of them.

“But now there’s no hope left,” Willow finished for him. Wesley nodded, sadness falling over his features. Cordelia looked up at him and noticed the anger he held in his eyes.

“We need to find Faith before she causes anymore damage,” Buffy said, her voice cold as she looked around the room.

“Alandra thinks she can still be saved,” Willow replied, her voice soft, walking around the room to begin to collect the books they had used to begin to put them away. 

“Faith is way beyond saving. She’s shown us that time and time again. No, we’re doing this my way,” Buffy told her. Willow could see the pain in Buffy’s eyes. She knew that Buffy didn’t want to kill Faith, wanted to believe that there was still good in the rogue slayer, but saw no other option other than to kill her.

“We should head to Alandra’s house to await orders from Angel,” Wesley said softly to Cordelia before standing up and heading towards the door. Cordelia stood to follow him, but paused to look at the other Scoobies.

“Have you ever thought that Faith is doing this because she believes that there’s no hope left for her,” Cordelia said, bus she knew that she wasn’t going to get an answer, “From the moment Faith made a mistake you all decided that she couldn’t be helped any longer. Alandra is the only one of us that sees us for who we truly are, sees past the walls that we put up. I hope that if something happens to us that we’ll be so lucky to have her on our side.” The room was tense with silence as Cordelia’s words hung over their heads. She wasn’t sure if her words got through, or if the Scoobies will decide to completely disregard them, but she said what she needed to and there was nothing she could do to change how they felt. Wesley and Cordelia decided in that moment to leave and head back to Alandra’s house to give their report to Angel. 

“So now what,” Xander asked, looking to Buffy for leadership. The weight of her decision was heavy on her shoulders as she looked at her friends and mentor.

“Now we prepare to take Faith down,” she told them, heading towards Giles’s weapons chest.

~0~0~

Alandra’s feet were heavy as they carried her up the stairs to her room where Spike rested. She hadn’t seen Angel yet, but she knew that he was sitting beside his grandchilde, watching over him. She felt tears prickle her eyes once she reached her door. She could feel her heart break with every moment as the knowledge of Spike leaving her for good swirled around in her mind. Images of him falling away into nothing but ash came to the forefront, the tears now slipping down her cheeks.

She didn’t jump when Angel opened the door, sensing her there, feeling the hurt she felt. Her own sadness and heart ache was enough to bring tears to his eyes, wanting to draw her into his arms to comfort her. Alandra looked up at him then peeked just behind him, seeing Spike paler than ever. Sweat clung to his skin, as red lined his eyes and nose. His breathing was ragged despite the fact that he didn’t need to breathe at all. 

“Ello Sunshine,” Spike said, his voice hoarse, the words causing him to cough, “So, what’s the news on the poison?” Alandra was hesitant as she stepped forward towards her bed, fear making her feet heavy. She grabbed the chair Angel had been sitting in and moved it even closer to Spike, her hand moving to clutch onto his. Her grip was tight, and Spike could see the fear in Alandra’s eyes. The fear, the love, the sadness. All of those feelings at this precise moment were for him, and he knew that he could die a happy man if he had to, all because he had her. His sunshine. 

“We’ve found the poison that Faith used,” Alandra told him, her voice soft, “It’s called Amat Mortem.”

“Death of a Lover,” Angel said, his voice just as soft as hers. The other two glanced back at him, “I’ve heard of it, but I’ve never seen it used before.”

“So, what’s the problem,” Spike asked, directing their attention back to Alandra, “We know that the cure is right? Can’t be drinking the blood of the slayer right?”

“It’s not,” Alandra replied before taking a deep breath, her eyes closing to try to hold back the tears. When she opened them again all she saw was crystal blue. Spike was full of trust and love and she had let him down. Tears sprung to her eyes once again, unable to hold back what she felt as he looked into her soul.

“The cure is that you would have to drink human blood fresh from the vein,” Alandra finally told them, the silence becoming thick with tension as her words weighed down on them.

“Which I can’t do because of this bloody chip,” Spike says, anger filling him. He looks towards Angel and see the sadness and anger reflected back at him. The smell of salty tears begins to fill the air and the two men look back at the woman between them. Alandra breaks into heart wrenching sobs, the sound breaking their hearts the longer they hear it. She of all people didn’t deserve to be hurt this way, and now she would lose another person she cared about.

“This is all my fault,” Alandra finally says, her words shocking them, “If I had done more, gotten to you faster. Something! This wouldn’t be happening.” Spike raises his cold hand to cup her cheek, forcing her to look at him once again.

“This is not your fault Alandra,” he tells her, his voice filling with a strength he hadn’t had in a while, “You are not to blame for any of this alright? This is just the universe finally getting some justice.” His final words were said in a complacent sigh, understanding everything that was going on around him. He had done too much bad in the world now that he could never make up for it. There will always be retribution for the innocent.

“We’ll find a way Spike,” Angel said, trying to sound hopeful, but it fell on deaf ears. 

“I just want to rest for a while,” Spike replied, his exhaustion finally hitting him. He turned to Alandra, his eyes cloudy from the poison running through his system, “Will you lay with me for a while?” 

Alandra hesitated for a moment, looking up at Angel as if for permission. Spike noticed the glance but said nothing as he waited for her. Once Angel gave his nod, and Alandra finally allowed herself to be close to Spike. She smiled before laying down on the other side of him, pulling the covers over the both of them, wrapping her arms around him and resting her head on his chest. His body felt cool through the clothing, much cooler than usual.

“We’ll figure something out Spike,” Alandra whispered to him, her eyes slowly falling shut as her body eased into the comfort of the bed, “I won’t lose you too.”

“If anyone can figure it out it’s you Sunshine,” Spike replied in a whisper, looking over at Angel as the other vampire sat down at their bedside. The look held a deep knowledge and understanding that Spike wouldn’t make it to the end of the week. Spike wasn’t sure if it was sadness, or guilt, love or all three in Angel’s eyes, but either way, the look had given him comfort. It was something he hadn’t felt in a long time.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I will let you know that I plan to have this story done by the end of August! Hope you all enjoy the chapter. And forgive any grammar or spelling, I was just so excited to get this out to you that I didn't proof read HA! Love you all!!

The next morning had found Alandra deep underneath the covers, Spike’s arms circling tight around her waist. She slowly sat up, careful not to disturb his sleep too much. She looked down at him and noticed how his pale skin gleamed in the dim room. Dark circles were underneath his eyes, the poison-filled veins now stretching up his neck. Her heart began to ache at the sight of him, wishing that she could just fix it. She wishes that she had been a little bit faster, had been able to remove the chip sooner, anything that would have helped save Spike now.

“You’re thinking guilty thoughts again,” Angel’s soft baritone carried over to her from the shadows in the corner of the room, forcing her to look up and face him. She knew that he still loved her, despite everything that had happened, everything that they had been through, he still loved her unconditionally.

“That’s because I am guilty,” she replied, settling down to rest her back against the head board, her hand gently sweeping through Spike’s hair as she looked at her bonded.

“Thinking that way isn’t going to help anyone, especially him,” Angel told her, slowly moving to her side of the bed. Her heart began to flutter as he bent over and kissed her. Their bond began to glow within them as they touched, the light a bright yellow as it gently lit up the room. The kiss was passionate and full of fire; an intimacy they hadn’t had in a while. Alandra slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling her down closer to him. They didn’t notice Spike slowly wake to their movement, the light hitting his eyes and blinding him momentarily. 

“Will you two quit it,” he groused as he rolled over to his other side, “Not everyone wants to wake up to you two smoochin’ alright?” The couple broke apart, looking down at the now jealous vampire. Angel glanced back at Alandra, using his head to gesture towards Spike. Confusion filled her at first, then she realized what he was telling her. She silently mouthed the words, “Are you sure,” at him. She saw him hesitate, holding her breath as she watched him give one solid nod in the affirmative. She hesitated herself before she gently rested her hand on Spike’s shoulder. He could hear heart begin to race and slowly turned back over to see what was wrong. Shock overwhelmed him as she gently pressed her lips against his. His eyes widened, pulling away to look first at her then up at Angel. He could see the jealousy in the older vampire’s eyes, but also the conceit to what was happening. Angel once again nodded his head, telling Spike that it was ok. Spike only had a moment to feel confused before Alandra’s lips were back on his. Overwhelmed by the feeling of her body resting against his, her soft lips gently caressing his.

“No,” Spike gasped as he pulled away reluctantly from her, “No. You can’t do this to me. You can’t use me.”

“I’m not using you Spike,” Alandra replied, her voice filled with sadness, “I would never use you.” Alandra started slowly to get up out of the bed, but Spike stopped her with a hand on hers. She looked back at him, her heart clenching at the sight of him. He had begun to waste away. The shadows under his eyes were now deep purple bruises, his cheeks hollowed out to where he began to look emaciated.   
“Not you Sunshine,” he said, his voice nearly a deep rasp, “Him.”

“I’m not trying to use you Spike,” Angel said, moving to stand closer to Alandra’s side.

“Bugger off. The fuck you’re not. You’re using the both of us to assuage your guilt,” Spike spat out before falling into a fit of coughs. Alandra reached for the water, handing him the glass, which he quickly grabbed and gulped down, but it did little to help him.

“You’re talking nonsense Spike,” Angel told him, watching him with a stony look on his face. Spike could see that his words had gotten to him however. He smirked as he looked at his grand sire.

“Am I? Say I’m wrong. Say that your guilt for what happened in LA isn’t driving you nuts. Say that knowing what you did to her is eating at you. Say that you telling her this is ok isn’t to make amends for what you had done,” Spike said, wheezing as he finished speaking. Alandra could feel Angel’s emotions swirling within her. Most of it was anger however.

“Of course I feel guilty,” Angel shouted, “I left the woman I love for selfish reasons. I left her because of fear when I should have been brave enough to stick by her side no matter what. I can’t use you to assuage my guilt if I’m going to carry it with me for the rest of my life.”

“I think we need to take this one step at a time,” Alandra began, but Spike ignored her to fire back at Angel’s words.

“Stop using your mistakes as excuses. Just own up to what you’ve done. You don’t deserve her. And now because of the bond she can never decide who she really loves,” Spike spat, his words making Angel reel back in shock. That was the moment when Angel realized what Spike was really saying. He wanted Alandra to himself.

“Oh, because you’re the model of perfection. If it weren’t for that chip you would still be killing for the fun of it. You think she would choose you? A killer,” Angel replied. Alandra had seen them volleying words back and forth, opening her mouth to speak but unable to.

“You do realize ‘she’ is right here,” she mumbled underneath her breath, annoyed with how they spoke about her as if she weren’t there, as if it weren’t her decision to make. She knew they had heard her words from the small glance in her direction before continuing with their argument.

“At least I’m honest about what I am. She knew what she signed up for. You hadn’t told her anything about Angelus until it was too late. And then what do you do when everything is said and done? You leave, because you’re a poofter and a coward. Running seems to be the only thing you’re good at,” Spike told him before a fit of coughs over took him. Alandra just sat there and watched him. He didn’t deserve her sympathy right now.

“From the way she screams my name at night that’s not the only thing,” Angel shot back, Alandra’s eyes widening at his blatant and crass statement. She expected something like that from Spike, but the words dropping from Angel’s lips surprised her. She jumped up from where she sat and stood between them, trying to block their words physically with her body.

“Alright, that’s enough. I’m over this pissing contest. You two can fight it out after Spike get’s better,” Alandra said, loudly, halting their barbed words before pausing and looking at both of them, glaring at each other. She could feel heat rise within her, it was frustration and anger at the both of them. She could feel her teeth begin to elongate, her eyes bleeding amber.

“I said enough,” she shouted, her voice deep with her anger, “You two don’t get to fight over me like I’m an object to be won. You two don’t get to sling words back and forth as if I’m also not partially to blame for all of this. We will talk about once we cure Spike, but if you two insist on continuing to throw these temper tantrums I will stay with Buffy.” Tension filled the air at her words, but she refused to budge until they agreed. She felt her breath finally release from her when they each gave her short nods. She felt her anger release from her as well, her body slowly relaxing as she moved to sit back down beside Spike. On her way she gave Angel a sharp slap to the back of the head.

“Ow,” Angel said, shocked at the fact that the slap truly did hurt, “What was that for?”

“The way I scream your name? Really,” she asked, her tone incredulous as she looked at him, “Of all the things to say, you say that?”

“You’re right mo chroí. That was uncalled for,” Angel replied, looking fully admonished. It was quiet again, some of the tension still settling around them from the argument, but Alandra felt more content then before. She still worried immensely about Spike, how more frail he looked with every passing day. It frustrated her that it was such an easy fix, something that she could give if it weren’t for the chip. 

Then she had a realization, a memory, that hit her at full force. Images of Spike drinking a cut she had in the kitchen, her permission somehow bypassing the chip’s safety guards. Angel could feel and see the elation come to her face, confused at what she could possibly be thinking about.

“I have an idea,” finally said, a bright smile coming to her face. Spike looked at her with curiosity as she stood up from the bed and walked over to her vanity. Both men’s eyes widened as she pulled out a small yet sharp pair of scissors. 

“I’m going to slice my neck and you drink,” she told him matter-of-factly as she sat back down beside him. Spike sat up slowly, trying to hold back the coughs that wanted to swallow him. Angel placed a heavy hand on her shoulder, worry beginning to lace through him.

“This is dangerous,” Angel began, “What if you slice too deep and you bleed out? What if he can’t drink from you because the chip won’t let him. Think about this Alandra.”

“I won’t bleed out, the bond will protect me,” she said, never tearing her eyes away from Spike’s, “And he’ll be able to drink.”

“You can’t know that,” Angel nearly shouted back, growling in frustration and snatching his hand away from her when he realized that nothing would stop her.

“Call it a gut feeling,” was her only reply before she sliced the scissor along the side of her neck, crying out in pain as blood quickly began to flood to the surface. The smell of it was too overwhelming for Spike and his face transformed into that of the demon. Alandra grabbed the back of his head and placed it in the crook of her neck where the blood fell from. They both moaned as his tongue began to lap at the wound, Spike forcing the urge to bite back. 

There was something so heady seeing Spike drinking from Alandra that Angel also transformed into that of the demon. The smell of her fresh blood permeated the air, the sound of her moans making him hard. Spike lifted his head, a smile on his red rimmed lips, smelling both of their arousal along with his own.

“Drink from her,” Spike whispered, his coloring already coming back, “You know you want to.” Angel glared at him, his chest heaving with every deep breath that he took. Her blood called to him, begged for him. Alandra lifted her wrist out to him, the artery thumping beneath her skin. He could hear it rushing beneath her skin. He grabbed it, their bond beginning to glow with their skin touching. He looked over to her to see her looking at him, her other hand still clutching Spike’s head to her. Her eyes told him all. She wanted this, she wanted them, all of them. He kissed her inner wrist before moving taking a soft bite into it. Her blood gushed into his mouth, filling him as none other has. Alandra hissed before releasing another moan. She felt powerful, knowing that it was only she that could heal them. The bond between Angel and her began to glow, enveloping all three in it’s warmth. Tears sprung to Alandra’s eyes as the glow became brighter and brighter, their love swirling around her and within her. 

Suddenly the pulled away from her, the warmth she felt slowly leaving her. She looked over to Spike, seeing blood dribble down his chin, soaking into her comforter. She smiled brightly as the dark circles left from his eyes and the poison slowly began to fade away, the purple hue of his veins disappearing. She looked over at Angel who equally looked refreshed and renewed, the fresh blood filling him. Different thoughts and feelings ran through her. Mostly happiness and love, but she also felt a burning within her. The sight of the both of them, faces covered in her blood, knowing that she healed them turned her on. She wanted to ravage both of them, separately, at the same time, all she knew was that she wanted them.

Spike could see the want in her eyes and could feel himself hardening. He said nothing as he leaned back down to her neck and began to lick the excess blood away. The wound had mostly closed except for a thing line of blood that still dripped a bit. She could feel her body begin to heat up at the contact, her hand reaching up to clutch his head to hold him against her once again. She turned her head to find Angel also looking at her with heat and longing. Suddenly, everything came crashing down on her. Panic filled her, and Angel’s look of longing turned to one of concern.

“Alandra, what’s wrong,” he asked, moving towards her. Alandra looked between the two of them, knowing that deep down she loved them both. She didn’t know how to handle this new information. They both knew, they both understood how she felt, but none of them had fully thought about this meant for them.

“Nothing’s wrong. I just realized something,” she told him, sighing and letting her body sag into itself.

“What? What did you realize,” Spike asked her, trying to get her to look him in the eyes, but she everywhere but at him.

“I realized that I love you both. I love you both a lot,” she told them finally, biting her lower lip out of nervousness. The two vampires looked at each other before turning back to her, confusion clear.

“Yes, I think we had already established this,” Angel replied, “I don’t understand.”

“I’m just wondering what that means for the three of us. What that means for the two of you? I can’t live my life without either one of you, but what does that mean for us? You know,” she rambled, making the two men look back at one another again.

“She’s rambling. She’s nervous,” Spike told Angel matter-of-factly, as if Angel wasn’t aware of what was going on, but the older vampire played along.

“Do you think we took too much blood,” Angel asked, ignoring the incredulous look Alandra sent him.

“Nah, I’ve seen her bleed more than that when she’s on her period,” Spike told him, causing both Alandra and Angel to give him incredulous looks, “What? I live with you, it’s like you hide the fact that you are on your period! Pads and all that shit!”

“What is it with you two today and making weird comments,” she asked under her breath and the two men decided it was best not to answer.

“I think we need to deal with all of this after we’ve dealt with Faith,” Angel finally told her, surprised when Spike agreed.

“Fine, but we will be talking about this,” Alandra told them. They both nodded, Spike giving her a bright smile, blood still staining his mouth. She could feel some of Angel’s tension leave him, his face finally relaxed after days and days of their worry for Spike overwhelming them. She knew no matter how much they argued that they cared for one another, and seeing them at peace made her heart swell. 

She felt rather than heard the drums that had begun, but she didn’t know where they came from. The thumps of the drums almost seem to come from deep within her, and it took her a moment to realize that they were the same drums she heard when they fought Adam, when the spear appeared. 

“Do you hear that,” she asked, turning to her two men. Spike looked at her and nodded, a far away look coming over their eyes. Angel looked between them, confusion and worry settling on his features.

“I don’t hear anything,” Angel told them. When Spike and Alandra looked at him their eyes were glowing a bright white, “Your eyes. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing is wrong my love,” Alandra replied, but her voice was different. It reverberated in him, as if she was not only speaking to him, but from within him. 

“We must get to the spear,” Spike told him, his voice taking on the same eerie quality that Alandra’s had. 

“Night has just fallen,” Alandra said to Spike. They nodded to one another before standing up and heading outside. Angel said nothing else and simply followed them out of the room, down the stairs, to the outside.

“The drums, they are getting stronger, louder,” Alandra said out loud. If it was for Angel’s benefit he wasn’t sure.

“We are close,” Spike replied, both of them moving in tandem down the street. They all remained silent as they walked, Angel simply walking behind them to keep them safe. Soon the trio found themselves at one of the graveyards, and Angel could smell that the place was teeming with vampires.

“Do not worry my love,” Alandra said, sensing his apprehension, “They will not bother us tonight.”

“How do you know,” he asked, her voice still unsettling him.

“Vampires smell power. They either run to it or run away from it,” Spike answered, “Tonight they will run away.” The two said nothing more and turned back to begin their search through the grave yard. Angel could tell they were getting closer by the giddiness that seemed to radiate off of both of them. Before long they were at the center of the grave yard where a large crypt stood. Angel could feel the power emanating from the crypt and knew that’s where the spear stood. He had only ever seen it once, when Alandra had come to LA. But he knew that no one remembered it, no one except for him. He still carried the weight of what he had done every day, but he knew deep down he had made the right decision. He quickly shoved those guilty thoughts to the side, focusing on what was happening in front of him.

The spear pulsed with power, he could feel it thumping deep within him, like a heart beat. The carvings within the dark wood glowed as it floated a few feet off the ground, turning slowly on an axis. Alandra turned around to Angel, her eyes still glowing a bright white. Angel knew that Alandra wasn’t the one that was truly speaking to him though.

“Who are you,” he asked finally, also glancing at Spike.

“We are Alandra’s past. We are her protectors, her teachers. We were the protectors of the Hell Mouth. She is the Storm. She is the prophesized,” Alandra told him. He turned to Spike, silently asking the same question.

“Two Champions, two knights, forever bound to the Storm,” Spike was all he told him, the two turning back around to face the spear. The sound of drums became stronger the closer the two got, their hands outstretched and trembling with fear and anticipation. It was almost overwhelming by the time they were only a few inches away. Angel’s skin began to tingle, heat washing over him, the light of his bond with Alandra beginning to glow brightly. It flowed out of him, the light becoming a wisp and slowly reaching across to the other two, blending with the light the came from the spear. The tingle soon became a light burn, but it didn’t hurt him. It almost was comforting, it almost felt good. Spike and Alandra turned their heads towards him, smiles on their faces.

“Bound till the end of time,” they said in one voice before turning back to face the spear, their fingers finally touching wood. Suddenly light shot from all directions, nearly blinding Angel. Energy shot up from the ground, making their clothes and hair billow around them. Angel watched in awe as the two slowly lifted a couple of feet off the ground, the power of what ever was happening so strong that the branches of the trees blew, fallen leaves beginning to swirl in a tornado around them.

Alandra and Spike’s mouths were open in silent ecstasy. Angel could feel her happiness, fear, and power flowing through him. The light of his bond with Alandra flowed out of him, swirling with the light that came from the spear, speckles of it reaching into Spike. Then a wave of energy burst from the spear, the light blinding Angel enough to force him to cover his eyes, the heat of the light burning his skin. 

After a moment he lowered his hand and found them both standing on solid ground, the spear now only in Alandra’s hand, her eyes still glowing white. Spike looked between them, gasping for breath he didn’t need, fear and awe on his face.

“The dark is approaching,” Alandra said, her voice still not her own, “Hell will open. The Storm, the prophesized, is here to bring the light. Two knights, two champions. You are her strength and her weakness. Bound until the end of time.”

“I don’t have a soul,” Spike told her, the words tumbling out of his mouth, shock still racking his body.

“You never lost it,” Alandra replied, the answer like a punch to the gut. Spike wanted argue, to scream at her that she was wrong, but he knew deep inside him that she was right, whatever she was right now. He always felt that little glimmer within him, something that he constantly squashed to do what he felt was necessary. To be the vampire that Angelus taught him to be. He felt himself fall to the ground, his hands coming up to his face, tears beginning to well in his eyes. He didn’t know what to do with all of the emotion that was rushing through him. He glanced up at the feeling of a gentle, warm hand on is shoulder. Alandra’s bright smile greeted him, and the some of the guilt he felt dissipated.

“You can feel again William. Let yourself feel again. She will guide you,” Alandra told him before coming to her feet again and turning to Angel who hadn’t moved since Alandra had first spoken after whatever bonding ritual they performed with the spear. She placed a hand on his cheek, the heat of her palm soothing the emotions also flowing through him.

“Let her be your strength. You do not have to carry the world on your shoulders. Let them both be your strength,” Alandra said before stepping away from both of them and lifting the spear above her head with both her hands on the staff.

“Alandra, Queen of the Mestazi, Protector of the Hell Mouth, the Storm,” she shouted, her voice becoming more powerful with every word, the sound reverberating deep in the men, down into the ground, causing the earth to shake slightly. A white shaft of light came up from the ground, the power once again making Alandra’s clothes and hair billow about her. She slowly brought the spear down, making the point face up towards the sky. Images of different people faded in and out, men and women alike, wearing various types of armor and clothing. Then Alandra’s image solidified again, the etchings in the wood of the spear becoming brighter and brighter. 

“I claim my birth right,” Alandra said in her normal voice before striking the ground with the bottom of the spear, making the ground shake to the point that Angel lost his balance slightly. 

Then the light was gone, the cemetery was quiet, the only sound the slight rustle of the breeze. Alandra stood there, staring at the spear she now held in her hands, it’s power thrumming out of it into her. This was familiar, this was comfort and home. She was finally felt home.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this chapter!!! Love you peeps!

“Alandra,” Angel asked hesitantly, “Are you all right?”

“Yes,” she replied, a look of determination coming over her, putting his mind at ease, “But we need to go talk to Giles right away.”

“Agreed,” he said to her, the two suddenly glancing down at Spike, his hands still being cradled in his hands, a look of despair twisting his features. Alandra walked over to him, kneeling down and placing the Spear down beside them. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, but when he didn’t look up at her she placed both hands on his face to make him look at her.

“Do you not want your soul? I’m sure there is a spell to remove it,” Alandra asked, her eyes looking, searching, deeply into his. The question brought him comfort. Knowing that she would do something as simple as removing his soul simply because it would bring him peace.

“No,” he breathed out, resting into her hands. She began to rub gentle circles into his cheeks with her thumbs. He could feel their new found power flow between them. It’s not the same as her bond with Angel where you can physically see it, which almost made him feel more special. No one could see what they had, it was theirs and no one else.

“You’re worried this makes you more evil,” she said, expressing his thoughts clearly, “Because now did all of those things in the past without the soul and that makes it a thousand times worse.”

“Yes,” he replied, tears springing to his eyes. He could feel the weight of what he had done over the century. He could hear their screams, feel their pain, it overwhelmed him.

“I know there’s nothing that I can say that will help you,” she whispered to him, “Other than I love you, and nothing will change that.”

“How can you love a monster,” Spike gasped out, his eyes shining with pain. Alandra wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her. He nuzzled his face into her neck, taking a deep breath and allowing her scent to wash over and calm him. He could feel the thump of her heart against his nose. She was there with him, touching him. She was pure, and just by being near her, he became purer himself.

“Look at me William,” she breathed out, his name sounding like music from her lips. He pulled back, looking into her grey eyes. He could see gold flecks within reflecting from the street light. Her brown skin also seemed to glow with golden flecks, something he had never seen before. She looked ethereal.

“You have done bad things in the past,” she told him, her voice matter-of-fact, “You have also done good things in the past. You have a choice now. You can wallow in guilt and self-pity. Or you can do better, you can be better.”

Her words weighed heavily on his mind. She was giving him a choice. Images of his past ran through his mind, how he always felt self-pity, hatred, anger because he felt that he never had any choices. They all led up to this moment, his blue eyes looking into her grey. He had the love of this beautiful, kind, glorious woman, something he did not deserve. But he can make himself worthy of her. He can be better for her.

“I choose to be better,” Spike told her. Her lips began to curl up into a smile, and that smile was worth everything. That smile made him think he could do anything, achieve anything. That smile made him feel that he could fly.

“Good,” she replied, slowly standing up, her hands clutched into his. Angel had watched the entire thing from the side lines, and was wondering when he was going to feel the jealousy, the anger, the hate at seeing Alandra with Spike. But those feelings never came. If anything, he was sure that if his heart still beat it would swell with feelings for the both of them. Love for Alandra, and for Spike he wasn’t sure yet, but it was definitely not hate or dislike.

“Let’s head to Giles’s place,” Angel said to them. Alandra nodded before bending down to grab the Spear. It came to life in her hands, the etchings in the wood glowing brightly, the hum of power as the spear tip cut through the air as she lifted it.

“Do you feel it,” Alandra asked Spike, a happy and gleeful look in her eyes, “Do you feel it flow through you?”

“Yes,” he released on a hiss. Angel could also feel the power. It strengthened him, cleared his mind, his already heightened senses seemed to become sharper. He felt as if he had drunk a whole fresh human. He felt good. The trio’s thoughts were all disrupted with the light jingle of Angel’s cell phone. He glared down at the mobile contraption after he had released it from his pocket. Alandra could already see the frustration at having to answer and quickly pried it from his fingers and promptly answered.

“Hey, it’s Alandra,” she said into the black phone. Spike and Angel stayed silent as they watched her happy face turn into one of sadness, fear, and anger.

“Do you know where her hide out is? Text the address to Angel’s phone, we’ll head there now,” Alandra told the person on the other side, “What about Buffy and the Gang, do they know where she is? Good. Keep it that way.” She slammed the phone shut after that, her eyes slowly looking up and glancing between her men.

“Who was that,” Angel finally asked, her anger and fear palpable, “What happened?”

“It was Wesley. Faith’s taken Cordelia,” she told him, her hand gripping tightly onto the Spear, “He was able to figure out where she’s hiding out. You should be getting the address right about, “she waited till she heard the small ring of the text message leave Angel’s phone, “now.”

“What about the Scoobies,” Spike asked this time.

“They don’t know and we’re going to keep it that way. Buffy thinks that killing Faith is the only option left.”

“And you don’t,” Angel said, a questioning look on his face. She could see that both he and Spike didn’t agree with her, but Faith was hers to deal with, and they would support her no matter what.

“No, I don’t. Because if I have learned anything from the two of you, it’s that some people deserve a second chance. And we’re going to give it to her. Let’s head back home to pick up the car,” she told them, walking confidently away from them and back in the direction of the house. The two men glanced at each other before following behind her.

~0~0~

The trio slowly drove up to the grungy building beside the pier. It was the address that Wesley had sent them, and the dark of the night seemed to swallow the brick building. They all hopped out of the car, Alandra leaving the Spear behind in the back seat.

“You’re not just gonna leave out like that,” Spike questioned, an incredulous look on his face. Alandra lifted a single brow at his question as she looked back at him.

“Yes,” she replied simply, watching as he spluttered.

“What do you mean ‘yes’? What if someone takes it,” Spike hissed, trying hard to keep his voice down.

“No one will touch it. Let’s go,” she said, fighting the smile that wanted to break out on her face as he spluttered more at her answer. She turned around to walk to the building, glancing at Angel who also held apprehension in his eyes.

“How do you know,” Spike asked as he followed behind her. She didn’t stop her pace to look at him as she answered him this time.

“I just know. No one will touch it. No one can touch it. It’s ours. No one will be able to take that away,” she told him, her tone brooking no further argument.

“I love you doll, but you’re I wonder if you’ve lost some marbles,” he told her. She didn’t hesitate to punch him square in his side, hard. Spike scowled in pain but otherwise remained silent.

It was quiet as they stepped through the abandoned building. Broken glass and stone crunching underneath their feet. They could hear whimpering come from the east side and they made their way over, not even bothering to hide the sound of their foot steps. The light was muted, despite having been able to get multiple lamps up. Cordelia sat in the center in a chair, a cloth tied tightly around her mouth, rough rope tying around her middle, her feet, and wrists that were bent back behind her. Cordelia’s eyes were wide with fear, her body shaking and her breathing ragged. Alandra, Angel, and Spike slowly stepped out of the shadows.

“Well well well,” Faith’s voice rang to them from the other side of the room. The three looked over to see her sitting in another chair nonchalantly, twirling her knife in her hand.

“Little Al has come to play,” Faith asked, a sadistic edge coloring her tone. Faith slowly stood up to also stand in the light, a crazed, dark look in her eyes. Alandra didn’t see any of her former best friend.

“You’re going to let Cordelia go Faith,” Alandra told her, her voice strong and full of command.

“Is that so? Make me,” Faith said as she stepped closer to Cordelia, the large and sharp knife coming up to her face, cutting a thin line down her cheek. Cordelia whimpered, fear causing tears to slip down her face, the sting of the salt making her hiss in pain. Alandra knew that the cut would not scar and simply tried to remain calm.

“What, you’re a coward now? Gonna hide behind her? Fight me,” Alandra growled out the last words. Faith stood to her natural height, stepping in front of her victim.

“You think you can take on a slayer,” Faith asked, her brow arching high in question. Alandra stepped forward as well, rolling her shoulders back in preparation for the fight that was about to come.

“I know I can,” she smirked back, falling into a defensive stance as Faith attacked. The dark slayer was a flurry of kicks and punches, and in the past Alandra would have barely been able to keep up, but now they barely fazed her. The more Alandra blocked the more frustrated Faith became, the wilder her hits got.

Angel rushed forward and quickly released Cordelia from her bondage, holding her closely to him as she wept into his shoulder. He kissed the top of her head, running a soothing hand down her hair, trying his best to calm her.

“Can you walk,” he whispered down to her, he waited till she felt her nod before continuing on, “The Plymouth is down stairs. Take it and head to Giles’s place. Wesley is there.” Cordelia nodded again, grasping the keys and ran out of the room to freedom. With Cordelia now to safety, the trio could focus on Faith.

Spike had joined into the fight his moves graceful as Faith focused back and forth between him and Alandra. Suddenly Faith ducked down and rolled to the other side of the room before sitting up and kneeling, throwing knife after knife in their direction. One landed in Spike shoulder, another just grazing Alandra’s arm. Faith stood up, picking up more knives and readying to throw them at the three when Angel suddenly came running towards her, barreling into her and forcing them into the window behind her. They crash landed to the ground, both of them landing with a grunt of pain.

Rain started to pelt them, the cold beginning to seep into their clothes, but Angel didn’t feel it. All he could focus on was the broken girl that stood before him. She roared as she came at him, kicking and punching, trying to find any weakness in his defenses.

“End this Faith,” he told her, fighting back but not wanting to truly hit her. He heard the thud of Alandra jumping from the window, landing gracefully on bended knee.

“The only way for this to end is to kill me,” she replied, growling as he blocked another hit.

“No,” he told her, his resolute tone making her angry. The word seemed to break her as she attacked at him wildly. She was suddenly yanked back by her hair by Alandra, sadness and anger making his love fierce.

“You think we would kill you? That I would kill you,” she yelled at the girl on the ground. Faith tried to get up but Alandra shoved her back down, her grey eyes glowing brightly in the dark, “I never gave up on you Faith! Even after you tried to kill Angel, after you tried to kill Spike, I still didn’t give up. I will never give up.”

“What you want some sort of medal,” Faith groused out as she stood up and pushed Alandra back by the shoulders, “You want me to say thank you? I deserve to die!”

“No you don’t! When will you get that through your thick skull,” Alandra shouted at her, shoving her back.

“Kill me,” Faith screamed, pushing against Alandra, but there was less heart behind it, “Kill me!” Alandra shook her head, the answer raising her fists and knocking against Alandra’s chest. Alandra forced down the grunt of pain it caused and instead wrapped her arms around her friend. As the rain fell on them, soaking their clothes completely through Faith sobbed. She sobbed for the guilt she felt, all the pain she caused to innocents and to the people around her.

“You’re worth saving Faith,” Alandra whispered in her ear as they fell to their knees, Faith now clutching on to Alandra just as tightly, “You’re worth saving.”

~0~0~  
3 Months Later

Alandra took a deep breath and squared her shoulders as walked through the dank hallways. There was something so militant and depressing about what she saw, but she knew that it was bringing Faith peace. She heard the loud beep as she passed through the gated door, nodding to the prison security women as she stepped into the large room.

Seats lined up across the room in front of separated bullet proof windows, grey phones hanging off the side of each section. Alandra nervously sat down, wiping her sweaty palms on her jeans as she waited. She felt her heart lighten at the sight of Faith in the blue prison uniform. Despite what Alandra was sure was rough conditions, it was the healthiest she had seen of Faith in a while. She had gained some weight, the bluish tint to her dark circles underneath her eyes were fading, a look of ease on her face. Faith sat down across from her, smiling serenely at her. They both picked up the corded phones at the same time, happiness and seeing each carrying across the room.

“Hey Al,” Faith breathed into the mouth piece, nervousness making her hands shake.

“Hey Faith,” Alandra replied, smiling brightly at her friend. When Faith smiled back Alandra knew that everything was going to be ok.

~0~0~

The ground shook and rumbled with force. The rubble from the caved in school shifted, a crack in the ground widened. The ground shook even harder, shifting the crack till the stone fell in, heat and steam escaped as the crack became large and larger till it became a large fissure in the concrete.

Inky black smoke slowly rose up, shifting into a hand as it landed on one of the gap. Another hand rose up a moment later, landing beside the first one. Slowly, the inky black smoke pushed itself up, manifesting itself into the shape of a women. Black smoke turned to dark, smooth skin, short thick hair and red eyes.

A long pink forked tongue came out as she licked her lips, a wicked smile forming.

“Yessss,” she hissed into the air, stretching her body languidly, feeling her muscles and bones pop into it’s place. She looked down at herself, shrugging internally at the thought of her state of undress before waking her way out of the debris of what was left of Sunnydale High School.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place right after the fight between the trio and Faith. Hope there's no confusion on time frame! Also, no words can express how incredibly sorry I am at how long it's taken me to update this! I was on my last semester at University and I graduated!! So needless to say I've been pretty freaking busy. I hope you enjoy this incredibly short but hopefully enjoyable chapter! Love you guys!!

3 Months Previous

The group of four had made their way back to Giles’s home. Alandra held Faith in her arms as they slowly walked down the quiet streets of Sunnydale. Spike and Angel would occasionally glance back at the two women, worry lining their faces. 

All of the Scoobies, including Wesley and Cordelia, sat in Giles’s living room, wondering what had happened to the others. Wesley had patched Cordelia up, bandages and even a few stitches escaping the holes of her clothes. Alandra could feel the dread begin to settle in as they made their way up the path and through the front patio area to the front door of Giles’s home. Dread over having to explain herself to the Scoobies, something she had become tired of doing at this point in their friendship. Dread at how they would react to Faith and her decision to keep her a live. She felt dread for everything. The only solace is that Faith will be safe, no matter the cost. Faith looked so defeated, and she knew that if Buffy wanted to kill her she would accept it. And Alandra refused to let that happen. They slowly made their way up to the door, the green entry way swinging open, Buffy and Giles’s concerned and furious faces greeting them.

“What is she doing here,” Buffy hissed, glaring at the other slayer as they stepped into the home. 

“We just came here to dry off, then we’re heading over to the police station,” Alandra informed them, looking around to make sure that the rest of the group heard.

“So that’s it then,” Buffy asked as she and her watcher followed them into the living room, “She goes to jail and everything’s forgiven.”

“That’s kind of the whole point of prison, so yeah,” Alandra replied, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

“That’s unacceptable,” Buffy replied, anger seeping from her pores. Faith opened her mouth to speak but Alandra lifted her hand to stop her. Alandra stepped towards the blonde, her breaths deep as she tried to control her anger. Her eyes flashed yellow before settling back into it’s startling grey.

“You are not the one that makes that call Slayer,” Alandra growled out, her voice shaking the others to the core. They had never heard her so angry and cold.

“I am the Slayer,” Buffy snapped back, “It is my responsibility.”

“She performed a human crime, justice will come by human means,” Alandra said haughtily, the sight of Buffy grinding her teeth placating some of the anger within her.

“And who are you to decide,” Buffy asked, crossing her arms, a single brow raised in question. The question infuriated something deep and ancient within Alandra. Her authority has been questioned, and that was something that she could not allow. Her eyes began to glow a bright white, her right hand lifting up into the air. The group except for Angel and Spike looked at her with confusion and awe as the room began to shake, the wind from her power whipping everything around them.

“Alandra, love,” Spike said as he began to step towards her, but halted as her furious eyes directed themselves at him.

“She has questioned my authority,” was Alandra’s reply as the Spear flew through the window into her hand without breaking the glass. The etchings in the wood glowed brightly, matching her eyes.

“Mo chroí,” Angel said in soothing tones, stepping in beside Spike, “This is not the time, nor the place.”

“What have you done,” Giles suddenly asked, pulling all of their attention and awe towards him. She could practically smell his fear and his hesitation, but she could see that he was genuinely curious at the sight before him.

“I have accepted my birthright,” was all she replied, looking into her former mentor’s eyes. He looked upset, but she couldn’t tell if he was sad or angry or both at this new revelation.

“What does that mean? What birthright,” Xander asked, looking around to see if everyone else was as confused as he was. He was glad to see that he wasn’t alone.

“That is the spear of the Mestazi,” Wesley said as he stepped forward to get a better look at what was in her hands, “It was supposed to have been created by the first ruler of the Mestazi tribe in Ethiopia thousands of years ago. It was passed down to the first born of the current ruler. I thought it was a myth.”

“As did I,” Giles agreed, taking a deep breath to calm some of his nerves. It had been a long time since Alandra had seen him so shaken.

“Not a myth. This Spear, this power, is very real. The three of us share it. Just like the prophecy said we would,” Alandra explained, the Spear pulsating in her hand, “I am the protector of the Hell Mouth, Queen of the Mestazi. And Faith is now under my protection.”

“That is complete and utter bullshit! You don’t have the power to do that,” Buffy said loudly, her voice grating on the few nerves that Alandra had left. 

“You’re wrong Buffy,” Alandra told her evenly, her eyes flashing the solid bright light before returning to their normal grey, “I do have the power to do that. And I will not hesitate to use it if you defy me.”

“Defy you,” Buffy nearly shrieked, but Alandra did not move a muscle. She simply stood and watched the blonde, the spear pulsating with life in her hand. Giles and Wesley could see that she was a moment away from unleashing her power and knew it would not end well. 

“Buffy. Alandra is right,” Giles told her softly as he stepped towards his pupil. Buffy looked up at him with an incredulous look, wondering why he wasn’t siding with her like he usually did, like he was supposed to do.

“Faith should answer for her crimes through the American justice system. That is not us,” Giles told her, keeping his voice soft as he spoke to her. The blonde slayer glared between her mentor and Alandra, her chest heaving with anger at Giles’s words. Alandra looked back at her, unbothered and unafraid of what Buffy would do. The power of the spear still coursed through her, strengthening her. The room was silent as they waited for one of them to make their next move. Alandra stood a bit taller, the spear clutched in her hand, the engravings glowing brightly which matched her eyes. 

“Fine,” Buffy spat, “I want her out of Sunnydale by the morning.” Alandra nodded stiffly, never taking her eyes off of the other woman as she walked away from the group. 

“So this is how it’s going to be from now on,” Xander asked from the side of the room, his arms crossed in front of his chest, his eyes dark as they looked at Alandra through his hair.

“It’s only going to be this way if that’s how she wants to do it. My duty is now protecting the Hell Mouth as my ancestors have done for centuries before me. Buffy being here does not change that,” Alandra explained to him, her voice still carrying an unearthly, almost ethereal quality deep within. Xander didn’t reply, but Alandra knew that he didn’t like her answer. He would always be on Buffy’s side, no matter how wrong she was. 

“I will take Faith in the morning,” Wesley said, drawing all of the attention to him, releasing the tension that had filled the room so heavily. Angel nodded and grasped Alandra’s hand. The glow of their bond began to spread through her, calming her from within. The glow from her eyes began to fade, her stormy grey returning. All of her strength seemed to have left her and she felt her body collapse on to itself a bit. Angel and Spike caught her before she reached the floor, holding her up between them. She looked into Angel’s eyes, all of her feelings being expressed with out words. Her sadness, her anger, her exhaustion, her fear. Her eyes told him all. He lifted his hand and gently brushed back a curl that had fallen onto her face then pressed his lips to hers. He didn’t care if the Scoobies and his employees saw, he just wanted to provide her some comfort from everything that had happened. 

He looked into her eyes for another moment, time seeming to have slowed between them, before looking up at Spike. Spike simply nodded before gathering Alandra completely in his arms, wrapping one around her back and the other beneath her knees to lift her. Spike glanced down at her when he heard a soft sigh escape her lips. He pressed a soft kiss to her cheek, holding her tightly to him, as if he could absorb her into him, to protect her from the hurt that he knew she was feeling. He just wanted to take her pain away.

“Faith and Wesley are coming with us. Cordelia, can you find a place to stay,” Angel asked his friend, seeing the wide eyed fear in her eyes, his voice soft with concern. She nodded, but didn’t reply in her typical fashion which worried him even more.

“A lot has happened tonight,” Giles interjected, cutting Angel off as the vampire had opened his mouth to speak, “I think with some rest we’ll be able to think more clearly tomorrow.” Spike and Angel shared a look between one another at the presumptuousness and condescending tone that Giles spoke to all of them with. The vampires could see right through him.

“I’ll take them to the house,” Spike told the older vampire softly. Angel nodded before tossing Wesley the keys. Faith hadn’t moved or said a word during Alandra and Buffy’s altercation. She simply stood to the side, her hair creating a curtain between them and her as she looked down, her arms wrapped around herself. She looked up at that moment and looked over at Cordelia, her eyes full of pain.

“For what it’s worth I’m sorry,” Faith said in a quiet voice to Cordelia. She sounded meek and vulnerable, something no one had heard come from the dark slayer before. Cordelia looked her in the eye, burrowing deep into Faith and tearing open her soul.

“It’s worth nothing,” Cordelia replied, her voice deep and solid, “Your words mean absolutely nothing. And frankly, if you died tomorrow I probably wouldn’t blink an eye. You have terrorized all of us, including the person you call best friend, and all you can say is I’m sorry? Nothing you do will ever be enough.” Faith took a deep breath, as if she was breathing in Cordelia’s words. Faith looked around her and was only met with hard stares then simply walked out of the apartment.

“I’ll follow after her,” Wesley said as he practically ran out after her. Alandra had been listening to everything that had been said but could not muster enough energy to say or do anything. She lifted her heavy head and looked over at Cordelia, could see a new darkness that had settled over the young woman that had never been there before, despite everything she had gone through in the past.

“Put me down,” Alandra croaked out. Spike looked at her warily and was about to argue, but he could see the determination in her eyes and decided to do as she said. He slowly lowered her feet to the ground, keeping an arm around her waist to steady her. Her steps were heavy as she walked over to Cordelia, and the moment she reached her Alandra placed her arms around her, holding her tightly. When Alandra pulled back she saw tears welling in the taller woman’s eyes.

“Don’t let what she’s done consume you,” Alandra whispered to her, making sure that only Cordelia could hear, “Don’t blame yourself for what she’s done. None of this is your fault. Because I know that even though you might tell yourself that it’s not, deep down that voice will tell you it is,” Alandra’s voice cracked with emotion, “And I’m sorry I couldn’t stop her sooner.”

“If I can’t blame myself then you can’t either,” Cordelia replied, a small smile on her face before turning serious again, “I know you’re doing the right thing, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want to wring her neck for everything she’s done to us. I don’t know how you can still call her friend! I don’t know how you can protect her this way!”

“You want the truth,” Alandra asked, sighing when Cordelia nodded, “Truth is I was hurt and angry. She tried to kill both of the men I love and my friends, of course I feel anger and sadness. But I also know that we all tow that line between the light and darkness doing what we do. What kind of person would I be if I simply gave up on her, or any one of you, because she made a mistake? A mistake that she will be paying for. At any moment one of us could end up in the same position she was in, and I think it’s very easy to forget that.” The few people left in the room absorbed her words and she took a deep breath to release the tension in her body. Spike walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her into him once again. His skin was warm to the touch and her eyes fell shut at the peace that washed over her.

“You need rest my sunshine,” Spike’s light and true accent whispered into her ear. Her body shuddered at the coolness of his breath against her ear before nodding. Her eyes opened to see a weird and mildly disgusted look on Cordelia’s face.

“Not that I’m not happy for you Alandra,” Cordelia began, “But could you keep the PDA to a minimum? It’s just a bit nauseating.”

“Oh, you mean like how you and Xander did in high school after everyone found out,” Alandra asked, a smirk on her face. Cordelia’s mouth fell open in incredulity and shock.

“I resent that statement,” Cordelia replied, some color returning to her voice.

“You can resent it all you want, doesn’t make it any less true,” Alandra joked back, trying to fight her giggles. 

“Ok, now we really need to go. Come on,” Spike said, practically dragging Alandra away from the other woman. Alandra said her byes quickly to Willow and Cordelia before allowing herself to be pulled away. Angel grabbed onto her hand before saying his farewells and the three headed out to his car. Wesley and Faith were already inside, and all of Alandra’s joy flew from her and was once again replaced with sadness, but she tried to have hope. Hope that Faith will find peace, that all of them will.

“Come on doll,” Spike’s voice carried over to her, and Alandra looked over to him, “Let’s go home.” Alandra smiled at his words before clutching onto both of their hands and walking to the car. She finally had a home, and two people that she can share it with.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SOOOOOO SORRY about how long it's taken for me to write this chapter. Life has gotten in the way, but this is a nice juicy chapter for you to read. That means there is sex, so if you don't like that I highly recommend not reading this chapter. I hope you all enjoy!!

After Visiting Faith In Prison

 

Alandra drove up to her house in Angel’s Plymouth, her heart heavy after seeing her friend in prison. She allowed her mind to wander throughout the drive home, the wind sweeping through her short, curly hair. She thought about everything that has happened these past few years, and her men at home. She couldn’t help but think about when the other shoe would drop because things had been going much too smoothly for them these past three months.

 

Her mind was still reeling with these thoughts as she parked the car and walked up to the door. They also stayed with her as she opened the front door, making her oblivious to what Angel and Spike had done to the living room. When she finally looked up and around her, she found the living room turned into something out of a romance novel. The lights were turned down low, candles surrounding the perimeter, lending a soft glow to the center. The couch and chair had been moved to the sides, leaving the middle open with blankets and pillows all over the floor. Alandra felt herself gasp, taking in the sight before her, her heart melting at the sight. Her boys did this for her, something no one has ever done.

 

“Hello mo chroí,” Angel’s deep voice came gently over to her, the sound turning her towards him.

 

“Hi. Where’s Spike,” she asked, not hearing him come up behind her. She jumped slightly as Spike’s arms wrapped around her from behind, but she quickly settled into them.

 

“Right here my sunshine,” he whispered into her ear, his voice and cool breath sounding shivers down her spine.

 

“What are you two up to,” she asked them, but her eyes were looking directly into Angel’s eyes. She could see a glint of mischievousness in his brown eyes, a small smirk lifting his lips.

 

“We wanted to treat you like the queen you are,” was all he said as Spike kissed down her neck. She sucked her breath in at the feeling of his lips on her skin. She reached up behind her, her hand clutching into his hair, nearly moaning at the feeling of how soft his hair was. He kept it product free, just for her. She massaged her fingers throughout his scalp, eliciting a soft groan from him. She looked into Angel’s eyes again, heat turning his brown eyes to warm dark brown, her breath hiccupping as Spike gave her a light nip with his teeth.

“Why do I feel like I’m being seduced,” Alandra asked, her voice husky. Spike lifted his lips to gently nibble on her earlobe.

“That’s because you are,” Spike whispered into her ear, sending chills down her spine.

“You know I’m yours,” she told him, trying to turn her head to look at him, “No seduction necessary.”

“You are someone who deserves to be worshipped from head to toe, inside and out,” Spike replied as he slowly turned her around in his arms so that he could look into her eyes. His eyes were a bright, crystal blue and full of lust and love, “So let us worship you.” Her hands clutching onto his upper arms, her fingers feeling the strong muscle underneath.

She hesitated for a moment as she looked at Spike. She thought about the man standing behind her, not moving towards them at all. Angel just stood there and watched and she felt confusion fill her. All they’ve done since he’s returned and begun living with them in the house these past few months was kiss her. Occasionally they would have make-out sessions that would leave her breathless, but he never went beyond that, and she had begun to wonder what was wrong with her. She knew he still loved her, but loving someone and wanting them on a deep physical primal level are two very different things. Sensing her hesitation Spike leaned down and kissed her. It was light and gentle and full of love. At first, it was a soft press of lips, but it slowly turned into more. It remained slow and sensual until their lips parted and they breathed each other in.

“One thing you probably don’t know about our Angel my dear dove,” Spike began after he pulled away, pulling her close to him once again, “Is that he likes to watch probably just as much as he likes to participate.” Spike’s words sent a pool of heat in her lower abdomen and when she looked back at her other love she could see the heat that had remained in his stare and the small smirk on his lips grew. They maintained their eye contact as Spike once again began to leave kiss after kiss on her neck, slowly pulling her jacket from her form. His lips left a fire in their wake and she could feel her breathing become shallower with every touch those lips left. More fire began to run through her body as his hands moved all over her, reaching beneath her shirt to touch her skin. She allowed herself to be pushed back into the living room, her heart skipping as Spike dropped to his knees, his blood red shirt and the candle light warming his pale skin. His long fingers grazed down her body, her mouth releasing a hiss as the gently grazed the inside of her thighs, before coming to her shoes. She was even more thankful she had worn a skirt that day as his cool skin touched her heated one. He smiled up at her as he removed one shoe at a time, making sure to press wet kisses to her calves as he did so. Her hand was clasped tightly into his hair as he moved up and up, his cool breath sending chills down her body. She locked eyes on to Angel’s once again, wondering what he would do next, the anticipation bringing an intensity to the room that she had never felt before.

“Tear her skirt,” he commanded, the order causing a large smirk to enter Spike’s face. Alandra’s face looked at the both of them with shock, her face wide as she heard the slow rip of her skirt, leaving her lower body exposed to their heated gazes.

“She’s wearing black panties,” Spike said with excitement, his smirk becoming a full smile.

“I really liked that skirt,” she told them, a pout forming on her lips. Angel walked over to them, reaching to grab her hand to pull her up to him. He lowered his head, his lips just centimeters away from hers.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he whispered before closing in the space, giving her a deep and bone shattering kiss.

“It was my turn to play with the pet,” Spike said from behind them, a pout now forming on his face.

“Play with her then,” Angel replied and flipped her towards the younger vampire. Alandra sucked in a breath as she spun around, Spike’s arms wrapping around her and steadying her.

“What the fuck is going on with you two? What is this,” Alandra asked, still not fully understanding what's going on.

“We were talking,” Spike began, lowering his head to nuzzle her cheek, “And Angel and I realized that we’ve been too caught up in everything to make love to you. We figured tonight would be perfect. A way to de-stress from the day.”

“Make love? At the same time,” she asked, nervousness now creeping in. Suddenly the atmosphere changed as they felt her nervousness emanate from her. Both of her men looked at her with concern, and Angel moved close behind her so that she was cocooned by them both, providing a safe space between them.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do my sunshine,” Spike told her, his voice softening, his fingers gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“We don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything mo chroí,” Angel replied, his hands rubbing up and down her shoulders.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I want to. Boy, do I want to,” she told them, both men chuckling at her words before she continued, “I just don’t know if I’ll be any good. You know?”

“That is the last thing you need to worry about love,” Spike told her, “We’ll just take it slow and you let us lead for this one alright? And if we do anything you don’t like you just say the word and we’ll stop. Tonight is all about you love.” Once the words finished leaving his mouth Spike bent his head down, his lips once again touching hers, his hands coming up to frame her face. Alandra’s eyes fell closed as she allowed her whole being to be drawn into him. She melted further as Angel’s hands grazed up and down her sides. She didn’t know what to do with her own hands, so she settled for clutching onto Spike’s shoulders.

Her eyes slowly opened when Spike pulled away and allowed herself to be spun around to face Angel. The moment he reached out to touch her their bond began to glow, lighting and warming them both from within. She looked into his eyes and seeing them almost made her want to cry. Not tears of sadness, but tears of happiness. She never thought they would reach this moment together. It always seemed like the world was against them with one obstacle after another, and now they can finally be together. She placed her hand on the back of his head, bringing his mouth to hers. He was so different from Spike, his kiss filled with more hunger. She began to push him back so that they were more in the center of the room, her hands moving all over him, the silkiness of his shirt tickling her sensitive skin. She quickly moved her fingers over the buttons to finally divest him of his shirt.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this,” she whispered against his lips, “For you?”

“Tell me,” he whispered back as he reciprocated and unbuttoned her shirt, “Tell me how long mo chroí.”

“Since I first saw you fight. Your face changed and all I could think of that night was you in my bed, making love to me,” she told him, her breath shuddering with every word. She kissed him again before taking a hard bite of his lip. She could feel heat pool in her lower abdomen at the sound of his groan of pleasure and pain. He pulled away and turned her in his arms, making her face Spike. The younger vampire stood there, his shoes and socks having been removed, the top buttons of his shirt undone, his fingers still working on the rest.

“What about him,” Angel asked, his voice low and husky as he spoke in her ear, “How long have you wanted him.”

“Since I saw him at The Bronze the first time. He was walking around, watching Buffy dance, he was hunting. And our eyes met for a moment, and I’ve thought about them ever since,” she replied, her honesty touching something deep within both men. Her was a woman that loved them, saw their beauty despite everything.

“I love you,” Spike told her as he walked forward, dropping to his knees before her again. Her eyes fell closed as he kissed her belly, his tongue occasionally licking her skin. Her fingers found themselves in his hair, gently massaging his scalp.

“And I love you,” she told him, her voice soft. Her breath shuddered again when she felt Angel’s hand cup her breast. She pressed her chest into his hand, silently asking for more.

“Do you want to Spike to have a taste of you,” Angel asked, kissing her cheek. She nodded, her frustration manifesting whenever Spike’s lips would move down to just above her mound before moving back up again.

“He won’t do it unless you say it out loud,” Angel said as he unclasped her bra from behind finally freeing her from the material prison.

“Yes, please,” she said, her hand leaving Spike’s head to reach up behind her to hold on to Angel. He prompted her to drop her arms so that he could remove her shirt and bra completely. The moment he did her arms wrapped around him again. She waited with heated anticipation as Spike’s mouth went lower and lower. The blonde lifted a leg up onto his shoulder, his mouth just a whisper above her center.

He took a deep breath in, inhaling her, “Oh love, you smell absolutely amazing,” he told her on a groan. Angel wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her steady against him.

“Lean into me mo chroí. Let me be your strength,” he told her. The moment his words finished leaving his mouth Spike placed his mouth over her center. She moaned loudly at the sensation of his cool tongue against her, but she couldn't bask in it like she wanted because of the last barrier that still remained, her panties.

"More, please," she whispered hoarsely. Spike looked up at her, his crystal blue eyes shining brightly despite the low light of the candles, or perhaps his eyes were bright because of them.

"As my queen commands," Spike replied, his words making her moan once again. She hissed when he ripped her underwear away, leaving her completely bare before him.

"Absolutely gorgeous," he whispered reverently before lowering his lips to her lower ones once again. He licked, nipped and sucked; making Alandra moan with every flick of his tongue. Her hand came down to clutch onto the top of his head, her hips grinding down onto his face. Her body was on overload as Angel's hands massaged her breasts, his teeth nipping and sucking on the skin just below her ear. She felt her breathing quicken as the coil in her belly tightened, pleasure coursing through her body.

"Oh fuck," she nearly shouted as she came, her body shaking, her arms and hands clutching onto anything they could. Angel and Spike both held onto her tightly, Spike’s mouth and tongue never pausing, allowing her body to shudder with more pleasure as he lapped her up.

“How does she taste,” Angel asked, his hands slowly moving over her body, calming her as she slumped into him.

“As delicious as I’ve always imagined,” Spike replied, a wide, nearly predatory smile on his face. Alandra moved away from Angel, her knees still feeling weak.

“The both of you are still very dressed. I think that’s unfair,” she told them as she moved to the blanket covered floor, laying her body down and stretching it out, looking up at them expectantly.

“We’re happy to oblige to whatever you want,” Angel told her as he stood next to Spike.

“I want you naked,” she began, “And I want to see your demons.” Her last words made the two vampires pause, shock coming over their features.

“Love. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Spike told her, the first one to recover enough to say something.

“I want to see all of you,” she replied simply. They still didn’t move, hesitation still holding them in their places.

“We can do that next time mo chroí. We don’t want to spoil this night with our demons,” Angel told her, making the woman growl, her eyes flashing amber in frustration. She stood up and stomped back over to them. She lifted her hands, a soft glow coming to her fingertips, the color similar to what glows from within the Spear.

“I want to see what’s mine,” she hissed before placing her hands over their chests where their hearts lay. They felt electricity shoot through them both, the surge of power bringing forth the change, their faces melding into that of their demon selves. The change finished on a roar. Alandra smiled brightly at them.

“There. That wasn’t so hard now was it,” she asked, the bright smile seemingly lighting her from within.

“I’m not sure about this sunshine,” Spike said, both men still hesitant. Alandra stepped towards him and kissed him, hard. She bit his bottom lip, making him release a groan of pleasure as her tongue swirled against his.

“Even if you’re not sure, I am,” she replied softly, giving him one last soft kiss on his lips.

“As my queen commands,” he said just as softly, the words sending a jolt of pleasure to her core. A moment later he turned around and put her in Angel’s arms. She kissed him just as fervently as she had Spike. She clutched onto him, almost as if she was afraid that the moment she let go he would disappear like smoke between her fingertips. Just the thought of him leaving her again brought tears to her eyes, the salty drops gently falling down her cheeks. Angel pulled back, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks, his thumbs wiping her tears away.

“What’s wrong Alandra,” he whispered against her lips, his amber eyes that were usually so cold looking at her with such warmth.

“I’m so scared of you leaving me again,” she told him, her voice so soft that a human with normal hearing would have struggled to listen to the words. His heart broke the moment they left her lips. He clutched her to him, the warmth of her skin feeling like fire against his. She was always so warm; and his thoughtlessness, his selfishness, nearly extinguished that fire and warmth that was inside of her.

“I’m so sorry my love,” he whispered back as he peppered her face with gentle kisses. After a moment his face returned to its human, and he placed one last kiss on her lips, “I will never leave you. I will never leave you again.” It was silent for another moment, their words weighing heavy in the air.

“Well that’s just fantastic,” Spike said, his voice drawing their attention back to him. He looked between his love and his grandsire, “You’ve ruined all of my hard work from earlier!” Alandra laughed softly before stepping away from Angel and laying down on the blanketed floor. The candles brought a warm glow to her dark brown skin, her single eyebrow lifted in a tantalizing arch.

“Guess you’re gonna have to warm me up again,” she told them a low husky voice. Her men looked at each other before quickly removing the last of their clothes and coming down beside her. Angel settled between her legs, his fingertips slowly and gently gliding along her skin. She giggled, but her breath soon caught in her throat as his fingers soon came to her core, his fingers rubbing gentle circles around, but never where she wanted him most. She reached beside her and found the soft skin of Spike’s thigh. Her back arched as Angel’s fingers finally dipped into her, the coolness of his sending jolts of electricity through her.

“Oh my heart,” Angel moaned at the feeling of finally being inside of her in some form. Her eyes closed as his hand moved in and out within her. Her hand moved up Spike’s thigh, her hand wrapping around his hardness, her hand gliding up and down. Spike released a low moan at the feeling of her warm hand around him.

“Please, Angel,” she finally said, her lids falling closed, “Please.” Angel said nothing as he moved his body up, now resting fully between her legs. They looked at one another for a long moment. Angel brought his hand up to gently cup her cheek, the other carrying his weight above her. This was a moment that she had been waiting for since nearly the moment she met him. Her feelings began to overwhelm her as she thought about how often she never thought she would be able to be with him in this way. These thoughts were chased out of her mind as he entered her, the both of them moaning loudly at the feel of him sliding into her. He moved slowly, his brown eyes never leaving hers. She felt pure bliss.

“I love you,” Angel said as he lowered his head and kissed her. The kiss was as slow and sensual as their movements together. She could feel electricity pulse from her center throughout her body. When she opened her eyes piercing blue met hers. They held so much love as Spike looked at her that her heart flooded with her own love for him. Her breath skipped in her throat, her body still feeling the electricity of having Angel inside of her.

“Flip me over,” Alandra said suddenly, looking over at Angel. He looked back at her before glancing up at Spike. Angel slowly pulled out of her, both moaning in sadness at the loss of contact. Spike looked at both with confusion before his eyes widened when Alandra faced him on her hands and knees. When she grabbed his hardness and began to stroke up and lower her head Spike lifted a hand to her cheek, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into the soft skin. Alandra smirked as she replicated his actions on the tip of him. His breath shuddered, but the intensity in his eyes never left him.

“You know you don’t have to do that Sunshine,” Spike told her, his voice soft. Despite everything, Spike still thought of her before himself. She wondered how no one saw how giving he could be. A little piece of her heart broke for the man that had been William. The one that had been tenderhearted and full of hope and love, the artist and poet. She knew that man was still in there, and it was moments like these where Spike allowed him to come out and blind her with its excellence.

“I know I don’t have to,” she replied, her hand never stopping it’s teasing, “But I want to.” A smirk lifted her lips, a mischievous glint entering her eye, “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. My lips wrapping around you, slowly taking you in my mouth.” Alandra began to lower her head again as she finished her words, her warm breath and the imagery she concocted making him close his eyes and humming with anticipation.

“Well, how can I argue with that,” Spike mumbled, his humming becoming a moan as her lips finally wrapped around him, her warmth sending shivers all over his body. Spike looked at Angel, cool blue meeting warm brown. Angel thought he would feel jealous seeing them together, but he didn’t feel jealous at all. He felt a sense of completeness fall over him. Everything finally felt right. And he couldn’t deny that seeing Alandra on her hands and knees sucking Spike off turned him on even more. He finally left his daze when Alandra lifted her head from Spike with a soft pop.

“What are you waiting for,” she asked as she glanced back at him, wiggling her bottom at him tantalizingly.

“I was just admiring the view,” he replied, waiting until her mouth was wrapped around Spike before slowly reentering her from behind, one hand on her center, the other on a breast, massaging both. Alandra moaned at the sensations flooding her, the vibration making Spike’s head fall back in ecstasy, his hand falling on top of her head, his fingers wrapping themselves in her hair. She could feel the heat coiling in her core, every swirl of Angel’s fingers sending a jolt of pleasure throughout her body. All of their voices filled the air, Alandra’s body becoming slick with sweat.

“Cum for me my love. Let go,” Angel whispered in her ear, his words finally releasing the tightness and heat that was within her. She raised her head up, her eyes squeezing shut tightly as her whole body shook with the force of everything. Angel came a moment later, his arms wrapping tightly around her to hold her close to him. Alandra’s hand went lax from around Spike, the younger vampire groaning at the loss, prepared to not finish for the night. Both Spike’s and Alandra’s eyes went wide when Angel’s hand replaced hers. The older vampire was suddenly in Spike’s space, their faces close together as Angel’s hand moved up down, applying

After Visiting Faith In Prison

 

Alandra drove up to her house in Angel’s Plymouth, her heart heavy after seeing her friend in prison. She allowed her mind to wander through out the drive home, the wind sweeping through her short, curly hair. She thought about everything that has happened these past few years, and her men at home. She couldn’t help but think about when the other shoe would drop, because things had been going much too smoothly for them these past three months.

 

Her mind was still reeling with these thoughts as she parked the car and walked up to the door. They also stayed with her as she opened the front door, making her oblivious to what Angel and Spike had done to the living room. When she finally looked up and around her she found the living room turned into something out of a romance novel. The lights were turned down low, candles surrounding the perimeter, lending a soft glow to the center. The couch and chair had been moved to the sides, leaving the middle open with blankets and pillows all over the floor. Alandra felt herself gasp, taking in the sight before her, her heart melting at the sight. Her boys did this for her, something no one has ever done.

 

“Hello mo chroí,” Angel’s deep voice came gently over to her, the sound turning her towards him.

 

“Hi. Where’s Spike,” she asked, not hearing him come up behind her. She jumped slightly as Spike’s arms wrapped around her from behind, but she quickly settled into them.

 

“Right here my sunshine,” he whispered into her ear, his voice and cool breath sounding shivers down her spine.

 

“What are you two up to,” she asked them, but her eyes were looking directly into Angel’s eyes. She could see a glint of mischievousness in his brown eyes, a small smirk lifting his lips.

 

“We wanted to treat you like the queen you are,” was all he said as Spike kissed down her neck. She sucked her breath in at the feeling of his lips on her skin. She reached up behind her, her hand clutching into his hair, nearly moaning at the feeling of how soft his hair was. He kept it product free, just for her. She massaged her fingers through out his scalp, eliciting a soft groan from him. She looked into Angel’s eyes again, heat turning his brown eyes to warm dark brown, her breath hiccupping as Spike gave her a light nip with his teeth.

“Why do I feel like I’m being seduced,” Alandra asked, her voice husky. Spike lifted his lips to gently nibble on her ear lobe.

“That’s because you are,” Spike whispered into her ear, sending chills down her spine.

“You know I’m yours,” she told him, trying to turn her head to look at him, “No seduction necessary.”

“You are someone who deserves to be worshipped from head to toe, inside and out,” Spike replied as he slowly turned her around in his arms so that he could look into her eyes. His eyes were a bright, crystal blue and full of lust and love, “So let us worship you.” Her hands clutching on to his upper arms, her fingers feeling the strong muscle underneath.

She hesitated for a moment as she looked at Spike. She thought about the man standing behind her, not moving towards them at all. Angel just stood there and watched and she felt confusion fill her. All they’ve done since he’s returned and begun living with them in the house these past few months was kiss her. Occasionally they would have make out sessions that would leave her breathless, but he never went beyond that, and she had begun to wonder what was wrong with her. She knew he still loved her, but loving someone and wanting them on a deep physical primal level are two very different things. Sensing her hesitation Spike leaned down and kissed her. It was light and gentle and full of love. At first it was a soft press of lips, but it slowly turned into more. It remained slow and sensual until their lips parted and they breathed each other in.

“One thing you probably don’t know about our Angel my dear dove,” Spike began after he pulled away, pulling her closely to him once again, “Is that he likes to watch probably just as much as he likes to participate.” Spike’s words sent a pool of heat in her lower abdomen and when she looked back at her other love she could see the heat that had remained in his stare and the small smirk on his lips grew. They maintained their eye contact as Spike once again began to leave kiss after kiss on her neck, slowly pulling her jacket from her form. His lips left fire in their wake and she could feel her breathing become shallower with every touch those lips left. More fire began to run through her body as his hands moved all over her, reaching beneath her shirt to touch her skin. She allowed herself to be pushed back into the living room, her heart skipping as Spike dropped to his knees, his blood red shirt and the candle light warming his pale skin. His long fingers grazed down her body, her mouth releasing a hiss as the gently grazed the inside of her thighs, before coming to her shoes. She was even more thankful she had worn a skirt that day as his cool skin touched her heated one. He smiled up at her as he removed one shoe at a time, making sure to press wet kisses to her calves as he did so. Her hand was clasped tightly into his hair as he moved up and up, his cool breath sending chills down her body. She locked eyes on to Angel’s once again, wondering what he would do next, the anticipation bringing an intensity to the room that she had never felt before.

“Tear her skirt,” he commanded, the order causing a large smirk to enter Spike’s face. Alandra’s face looked at the both of them with shock, her face wide as she heard the slow rip of her skirt, leaving her lower body exposed to their heated gazes.

“She’s wearing black panties,” Spike said with excitement, his smirk becoming a full smile.

“I really liked that skirt,” she told them, a pout forming on her lips. Angel walked over to them, reaching to grab her hand to pull her up to him. He lowered his head, his lips just centimeters away from hers.

“I’ll buy you a new one,” he whispered before closing in the space, giving her a deep and bone shattering kiss.

“It was my turn to play with the pet,” Spike said from behind them, a pout now forming on his face.

“Play with her then,” Angel replied and flipped her towards the younger vampire. Alandra sucked in a breath as she spun around, Spike’s arms wrapping around her and steadying her.

“What the fuck is going on with you two? What is this,” Alandra asked, still not fully understanding what's going on.

“We were talking,” Spike began, lowering his head to nuzzle her cheek, “And Angel and I realized that we’ve been too caught up in everything to make love to you. We figured tonight would be perfect. A way to de-stress from the day.”

“Make love? At the same time,” she asked, nervousness now creeping in. Suddenly the atmosphere changed as they felt her nervousness emanate from her. Both of her men looked at her with concern, and Angel moved close behind her so that she was cocooned by them both, providing a safe space between them.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do my sunshine,” Spike told her, his voice softening, his fingers gently brushing a strand of hair behind her ear.

“We don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything mo chroí,” Angel replied, his hands rubbing up and down her shoulders.

“It’s not that I don’t want to. I want to. Boy, do I want to,” she told them, both men chuckling at her words before she continued, “I just don’t know if I’ll be any good. You know?”

“That is the last thing you need to worry about love,” Spike told her, “We’ll just take it slow and you let us lead for this one alright? And if we do anything you don’t like you just say the word and we’ll stop. Tonight is all about you love.” Once the words finished leaving his mouth Spike bent his head down, his lips once again touching hers, his hands coming up to frame her face. Alandra’s eyes fell closed as she allowed her whole being to be drawn into him. She melted further as Angel’s hands grazed up and down her sides. She didn’t know what to do with her own hands, so she settled for clutching onto Spike’s shoulders.

Her eyes slowly opened when Spike pulled away and allowed herself to be spun around to face Angel. The moment he reached out to touch her their bond began to glow, lighting and warming them both from within. She looked into his eyes and seeing them almost made her want to cry. Not tears of sadness, but tears of happiness. She never thought they would reach this moment together. It always seemed like the world was against them with one obstacle after another, and now they can finally be together. She placed her hand on the back of his head, bringing his mouth to hers. He was so different from Spike, his kiss filled with more hunger. She began to push him back so that they were more in the center of the room, her hands moving all over him, the silkiness of his shirt tickling her sensitive skin. She quickly moved her fingers over the buttons to finally divest him of his shirt.

“Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this,” she whispered against his lips, “For you?”

“Tell me,” he whispered back as he reciprocated and unbuttoned her shirt, “Tell me how long mo chroí.”

“Since I first saw you fight. Your face changed and all I could think of that night was you in my bed, making love to me,” she told him, her breath shuddering with every word. She kissed him again before taking a hard bite of his lip. She could feel heat pool in her lower abdomen at the sound of his groan of pleasure and pain. He pulled away and turned her in his arms, making her face Spike. The younger vampire stood there, his shoes and socks having been removed, the tops buttons of his shirt undone, his fingers still working on the rest.

“What about him,” Angel asked, his voice low and husky as he spoke in her ear, “How long have you wanted him.”

“Since I saw him at The Bronze the first time. He was walking around, watching Buffy dance, he was hunting. And our eyes met for a moment, and I’ve thought about them ever since,” she replied, her honesty touching something deep within both men. Her was a woman that loved them, saw their beauty despite everything.

“I love you,” Spike told her as he walked forward, dropping to his knees before her again. Her eyes fell closed as he kissed her belly, his tongue occasionally licking her skin. Her fingers found themselves in his hair, gently massaging his scalp.

“And I love you,” she told him, her voice soft. Her breath shuddered again when she felt Angel’s hand cup her breast. She pressed her chest into his hand, silently asking for more.

“Do you want to Spike to have a taste of you,” Angel asked, kissing her cheek. She nodded, her frustration manifesting whenever Spike’s lips would move down to just above her mound before moving back up again.

“He won’t do it unless you say it out loud,” Angel said as he unclasped her bra from behind finally freeing her from the material prison.

“Yes, please,” she said, her hand leaving Spike’s head to reach up behind her to hold on to Angel. He prompted her to drop her arms so that he could remove her shirt and bra completely. The moment he did her arms wrapped around him again. She waited with heated anticipation as Spike’s mouth went lower and lower. The blonde lifted a leg up onto his shoulder, his mouth just a whisper above her center.

He took a deep breath in, inhaling her, “Oh love, you smell absolutely amazing,” he told her on a groan. Angel wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her steady against him.

“Lean into me mo chroí. Let me be your strength,” he told her. The moment his words finished leaving his mouth Spike placed his mouth over her center. She moaned loudly at the sensation of his cool tongue against her, but she couldn't bask in it like she wanted because of the last barrier that still remained, her panties.

"More, please," she whispered hoarsely. Spike looked up at her, his crystal blue eyes shining brightly despite the low light of the candles, or perhaps his eyes were bright because of them.

"As my queen commands," Spike replied, his words making her moan once again. She hissed when he ripped her underwear away, leaving her completely bare before him.

"Absolutely gorgeous," he whispered reverently before lowering his lips to her lower ones once again. He licked, nipped and sucked; making Alandra moan with every flick of his tongue. Her hand came down to clutch onto the top of his head, her hips grinding down on to his face. Her body was on overload as Angel's hands massaged her breasts, his teeth nipping and sucking on the skin just below her ear. She felt her breathing quicken as the coil in her belly tightened, pleasure coursing through her body.

"Oh fuck," she nearly shouted as she came, her body shaking, her arms and hands clutching onto anything they could. Angel and Spike both held onto her tightly, Spike’s mouth and tongue never pausing, allowing her body to shudder with more pleasure as he lapped her up.

“How does she taste,” Angel asked, his hands slowly moving over her body, calming her as she slumped into him.

“As delicious as I’ve always imagined,” Spike replied, a wide, nearly predatory smile on his face. Alandra moved away from Angel, her knees still feeling weak.

“The both of you are still very dressed. I think that’s unfair,” she told them as she moved to the blanket covered floor, laying her body down and stretching it out, looking up at them expectantly.

“We’re happy to oblige to whatever you want,” Angel told her as he stood next to Spike.

“I want you naked,” she began, “And I want to see your demons.” Her last words made the two vampires pause, shock coming over their features.

“Love. I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Spike told her, the first one to recover enough to say something.

“I want to see all of you,” she replied simply. They still didn’t move, hesitation still holding them in their places.

“We can do that next time mo chroí. We don’t want to spoil this night with our demons,” Angel told her, making the woman growl, her eyes flashing amber in frustration. She stood up and stomped back over to them. She lifted her hands, a soft glow coming to her fingertips, the color similar to what glows from within the Spear.

“I want to see what’s mine,” she hissed before placing her hands over their chests where their hearts lay. They felt electricity shoot through them both, the surge of power bringing forth the change, their faces melding into that of their demon selves. The change finished on a roar. Alandra smiled brightly at them.

“There. That wasn’t so hard now was it,” she asked, the bright smile seemingly lighting her from within.

“I’m not sure about this sunshine,” Spike said, both men still hesitant. Alandra stepped towards him and kissed him, hard. She bit his bottom lip, making him release a groan of pleasure as her tongue swirled against his.

“Even if you’re not sure, I am,” she replied softly, giving him one last soft kiss on his lips.

“As my queen commands,” he said just as softly, the words sending a jolt of pleasure to her core. A moment later he turned around and put her in Angel’s arms. She kissed him just as fervently as she had Spike. She clutched on to him, almost as if she was afraid that the moment she let go he would disappear like smoke between her fingertips. Just the thought of him leaving her again brought tears to her eyes, the salty drops gently falling down her cheeks. Angel pulled back, his hands coming up to cup her cheeks, his thumbs wiping her tears away.

“What’s wrong Alandra,” he whispered against her lips, his amber eyes that were usually so cold looking at her with such warmth.

“I’m so scared of you leaving me again,” she told him, her voice so soft that a human with normal hearing would have struggled to listen to the words. His heart broke the moment they left her lips. He clutched her to him, the warmth of her skin feeling like fire against his. She was always so warm; and his thoughtlessness, his selfishness, nearly extinguished that fire and warmth that was inside of her.

“I’m so sorry my love,” he whispered back as he peppered her face with gentle kisses. After a moment his face returned to it’s human, and he placed one last kiss on her lips, “I will never leave you. I will never leave you again.” It was silent for another moment, their words weighing heavy in the air.

“Well that’s just fantastic,” Spike said, his voice drawing their attention back to him. He looked between his love and his grandsire, “You’ve ruined all of my hard work from earlier!” Alandra laughed softly before stepping away from Angel and laying down on the blanketed floor. The candles brought a warm glow to her dark brown skin, her single eye brow lifted in a tantalizing arch.

“Guess you’re gonna have to warm me up again,” she told them a low husky voice. Her men looked at each other before quickly removing the last of their clothes and coming down beside her. Angel settled between her legs, his finger tips slowly and gently gliding along her skin. She giggled, but her breath soon caught in her throat as his fingers soon came to her core, his fingers rubbing gentle circles around, but never where she wanted him most. She reached beside her and found the soft skin of Spike’s thigh. Her back arched as Angel’s fingers finally dipped into her, the coolness of his sending jolts of electricity through her.

“Oh my heart,” Angel moaned at the feeling of finally being inside of her in some form. Her eyes closed as his hand moved in and out within her. Her hand moved up Spike’s thigh, her hand wrapping around his hardness, her hand gliding up and down. Spike released a low moan at the feeling of her warm hand around him.

“Please, Angel,” she finally said, her lids falling closed, “Please.” Angel said nothing as he moved his body up, now resting fully between her legs. They looked at one another for a long moment. Angel brought his hand up to gently cup her cheek, the other carrying his weight above her. This was a moment that she had been waiting for since nearly the moment she met him. Her feelings began to overwhelm her as she thought about how often she never thought she would be able to be with him in this way. These thoughts were chased out of her mind as he entered her, the both of them moaning loudly at the feel of him sliding into her. He moved slowly, his brown eyes never leaving hers. She felt pure bliss.

“I love you,” Angel said as he lowered his head and kissed her. The kiss was as slow and sensual as their movements together. She could feel electricity pulse from her center throughout her body. When she opened her eyes piercing blue met hers. They held so much love as Spike looked at her that her heart flooded with her own love for him. Her breath skipped in her throat, her body still feeling the electricity of having Angel inside of her.

“Flip me over,” Alandra said suddenly, looking over at Angel. He looked back at her before glancing up at Spike. Angel slowly pulled out of her, both moaning in sadness at the loss of contact. Spike looked at both with confusion before his eyes widened when Alandra faced him on her hands and knees. When she grabbed his hardness and began to stroke up and lower her head Spike lifted a hand to her cheek, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into the soft skin. Alandra smirked as she replicated his actions on the tip of him. His breath shuddered, but the intensity in his eyes never left him.

“You know you don’t have to do that Sunshine,” Spike told her, his voice soft. Despite everything, Spike still thought of her before himself. She wondered how no one saw how giving he could be. A little piece of her heart broke for the man that had been William. The one that had been tender hearted and full of hope and love, the artist and poet. She knew that man was still in there, and it was moments like these where Spike allowed him to come out and blind her with it’s excellence.

“I know I don’t have to,” she replied, her hand never stopping it’s teasing, “But I want to.” A smirk lifted her lips, a mischievous glint entering her eye, “You can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it. My lips wrapping around you, slowly taking you in my mouth.” Alandra began to lower her head again as she finished her words, her warm breath and the imagery she concocted making him close his eyes and humming with anticipation.

“Well how can I argue with that,” Spike mumbled, his humming becoming a moan as her lips finally wrapped around him, her warmth sending shivers all over his body. Spike looked at Angel, cool blue meeting warm brown. Angel thought he would feel jealous seeing them together, but he didn’t feel jealous at all. He felt a sense of completeness fall over him. Everything finally felt right. And he couldn’t deny that seeing Alandra on her hands and knees sucking Spike off turned him on even more. He finally left his daze when Alandra lifted her head from Spike with a soft pop.

“What are you waiting for,” she asked as she glanced back at him, wiggling her bottom at him tantalizingly.

“I was just admiring the view,” he replied, waiting until her mouth was wrapped around Spike before slowly reentering her from behind, one hand on her center, the other on breast, massaging both. Alandra moaned at the sensations flooding her, the vibration making Spike’s head fall back in ecstasy, his hand falling on top of her head, his fingers wrapping themselves in her hair. She could feel the heat coiling in her core, every swirl of Angel’s fingers sending a jolt of pleasure throughout her body. All of their voices filled the air, Alandra’s body becoming slick with sweat.

“Cum for me my love. Let go,” Angel whispered in her ear, his words finally releasing the tightness and heat that was within her. She raised her head up, her eyes squeezing shut tightly as her whole body shook with the force of everything. Angel came a moment later, his arms wrapping tightly around her to hold her close to him. Alandra’s hand went lax from around Spike, the younger vampire groaning at the loss, prepared to not finish for the night. Both Spike’s and Alandra’s eyes went wide when Angel’s hand replaced hers. The older vampire was suddenly in Spike’s space, their faces close together as Angel’s hand moved up down, applying just the right amount of pressure. The intensity reached a new level when Spike crashed his lips against Angel’s, a moan releasing from the blonde as Angel pumped him faster. The kiss held no gentleness, even as they embraced one another they were still fighting for domination over the other. Spike’s hand clutched onto the back of Angel’s head, his body undulating against the other man’s as wave after wave of pleasure hit him. Angel kissed Spike again, biting the bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Spike finally came with a long groan, holding onto Angel for dear life. Angel held onto him just as fiercely, their breaths mingling together as Spike slowly came down from his high.

“Wow,” Alandra said, her soft voice breaking the spell that had fallen over them. Her men looked over at her, their bodies still so close together that their chests touched with every breath they took.

“I’m not gonna lie, that was pretty hot,” Alandra said, a wide smile overtaking her features. Spike just looked at the both with confusion on his face. Finally, his eyes settled on Angel who still hadn’t moved away from him.

“Why,” Spike asked, his voice soft, as if he were afraid that if he spoke any louder he would wake up from a dream, or that suddenly Angel would disappear.

“I’ve come to realize that you are just as important to me as she is,” Angel began, a sigh releasing from him as he pulled back slightly, “And I also realize that I need to start to show you that.”

“You’re not doing this out of guilt,” Spike asked, finding more confident in the idea that Angel won’t disappear before his eyes once again.

“Partially. I haven’t been the best mentor or grandsire to you. But I was thinking maybe we can start to repair the damage that I’ve caused,” Angel told him, his brown eyes watching Spike closely. Spike paused, his mind reeling from Angel’s words. This was the moment that he had always been waiting for, Angel’s acceptance of him. He began to wonder if he could move past the pain Angelus had caused. Forcing him to strip away who he was, leaving a murderer behind. But maybe now Angel can help heal the hole that was left behind.

“Alright,” Spike breathed out. Angel smiled brightly at him, taking his breath away. Everything was so unexpected that he couldn’t believe that it was happening. Something that he always wanted, love, and now he finally had it. He was even more shocked when Angel pressed his lips against his once again. It was soft and gentle and something he had always wished for from him. Suddenly Alandra had wrapped her arms around them, pressing kisses to both of their cheeks.

“Fucking finally,” Alandra said, making the men look over at her, “I got to tell you, the sexual tension was killing me.” Her words made them both laugh. They talked and made love for the rest of the night, and Spike finally felt like he was home.   

just the right amount of pressure. The intensity reached a new level when Spike crashed his lips against Angel’s, a moan releasing from the blonde as Angel pumped him faster. The kiss held no gentleness, even as they embraced one another they were still fighting for domination over the other. Spike’s hand clutched onto the back of Angel’s head, his body undulating against the other man’s as wave after wave of pleasure hit him. Angel kissed Spike again, biting the bottom lip hard enough to draw blood. Spike finally came with a long groan, holding onto Angel for dear life. Angel held onto him just as fiercely, their breaths mingling together as Spike slowly came down from his high.

“Wow,” Alandra said, her soft voice breaking the spell that had fallen over them. Her men looked over at her, their bodies still so close together that their chests touched with every breath they took.

“I’m not gonna lie, that was pretty hot,” Alandra said, a wide smile overtaking her features. Spike just looked at the both with confusion on his face. Finally, his eyes settled on Angel who still hadn’t moved away from him.

“Why,” Spike asked, his voice soft as if he were afraid that if he spoke any louder he would wake up from a dream, or that suddenly Angel would disappear.

“I’ve come to realize that you are just as important to me as she is,” Angel began, a sigh releasing from him as he pulled back slightly, “And I also realize that I need to start to show you that.”

“You’re not doing this out of guilt,” Spike asked, finding more confident in the idea that Angel won’t disappear before his eyes once again.

“Partially. I haven’t been the best mentor or grandsire to you. But I was thinking maybe we can start to repair the damage that I’ve caused,” Angel told him, his brown eyes watching Spike closely. Spike paused, his mind reeling from Angel’s words. This was the moment that he had always been waiting for, Angel’s acceptance of him. He began to wonder if he could move past the pain Angelus had caused. Forcing him to strip away who he was, leaving a murderer behind. But maybe now Angel can help heal the hole that was left behind.

“Alright,” Spike breathed out. Angel smiled brightly at him, taking his breath away. Everything was so unexpected that he couldn’t believe that it was happening. Something that he always wanted, love, and now he finally had it. He was even more shocked when Angel pressed his lips against his once again. It was soft and gentle and something he had always wished for from him. Suddenly Alandra had wrapped her arms around them, pressing kisses to both of their cheeks.

“Fucking finally,” Alandra said, making the men look over at her, “I got to tell you, the sexual tension was killing me.” Her words made them both laugh. They talked and made love for the rest of the night, and Spike finally felt like he was home.   


End file.
